I am the alpha and the omega.

....Zeta had to do with the production of snuff films that this person was involved with...Omicron had to do with their linkage and associations with drug smuggling and with the Mafia and with big business and government leaders. The Greenbaum Speech D.C Hammond 1992

In his speech Hammond describes the programming of people to form different alters to form different functions allocated with letters of the Greek alphabet. I have chosen the quotes above because so far I have been fustrated at how little money making and connections between big business, organised crime and political leaders there is in literature about ritual abuse and mind control.

I remember the song out in the nighties I think it was the Shaman, the lyric went something like 'Alpha Omega, for you I will also have time.' Or at least thats what it is in my head. It made me go cold the first few times I heard it. Lots of things made me go cold, I knew was all part of that stuff that I couldn't remember much off. Lots of flickers of studio time.

I have scanned the speech a couple of times and read some of it properly this now. It is always good to read about how Nazi scientists were protected and their research continued by the USA but the speech does not mention the involvement of British Intelligence and free masons. It was something I always felt to be true and was able to confirm myself with the help of members of the intelligence community. I don't know what letter researcher me is assigned with, or if she's the same as foreign/ancient language me or someone totally different one thing is for sure I have never been able to wake them just because I was bored or a bit fustrated. There is so much in here and they leave no room for me, no brain left to start again.

In Ritual Abuse and Mind Control: The Manipulation of Attachment Needs Valeria Sinason discusses how more recently survivors have talked about abuse from many more religions that just satanism.
...later referrals included Luciferians,..Paganism, Wicca, Voodoo, Black Witchcraft, Black Dianetics, Gnostic Luciferianism, Illuminati, Military Mind Control, MK Ultra and Bluebird'
(I remember not being to stop staring at bus drivers with bird tattoos, swallows? I'm not sure. And can I add, just of the top of my head the Lutherians were much fun either)
...Of even more concern were those whose systems can include all of this: a devoted Catholic alter, an abusing Satanist one, a Celtic one, A Kabbala one, an Egyptian one ... None would want to know each other. (pp.4-5).

Indeed. I can't remember ever being that fascinated by most rituals (probably because I had seen so many of them) but there was the odd world view that I found intreging, espically some of the Eastern ones. It was the access to texts that I got really into. I do find religious belief interesting, I studied religious studies at school. I have had at times a highly developed spiritual side that could take the best of all of them and make something all purpose, beautiful and healing it was needed for the Messiah work. As well as suffering from the constant inner religious war that the quote suggests.

For years I wore a silver cross, but that was about not forgetting I'd been raped on a cross rather than a Christian faith. Look at the centre symbol of our state, a man being cruicified, and they say it doesn't happen? I still have one, but this one is made of chrome and is inset with little pieces of coloured glass, all the colours of the rainbow.

I dreamt of fields covered in blood, I found deer, one dead and one dying. I used to think I had been cut out of the stomach of a deer, then they slit her throat. Rebirth from an animal rituals are mention in Ritual Abuse and Mind Control as a satanic thing. I wasn't happy about the deer, I went to look for someone to complain about it to.

Early I was lieing in my bed with my eyes closed and saw a picture come out of the darkness. A girl about 5 or 6, she is upset and has one arm outstreached like someone is holding it but I can't see her hand. A man is pulling down her bottem lip to expose her teeth and laughing. She looks familiar but I can't place her. The first thing that came to mind was Jersey and all the teeth they found. I tried to write a poem about it, about falling on a heap on the floor when the news first came on about Haut de la Garenne. My fist was clenched and when I looked down and forced myself to open it I saw bloodied teeth, some with bits of flesh attatched. I'm pretty sure the same man who handed me the teeth was the same man pulling down the girls lip. No murders my flabby ass.

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