tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78251604147021788642024-03-13T04:11:30.612+00:00..dear reader..Personal accounts of surviving modern slavery in Scotland. By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comBlogger1270125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-12291559101860506202023-06-17T14:45:00.000+01:002023-06-17T14:45:18.574+01:00Watered and fed the Roses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9UVJDnQ28qtWONi_4OC0Uj3qxmjQiVFMDvrxW0RXkY4efzKGehOvec3KyHgELb8ACCn78_fLLek74AyNaq_J9haYmFScxoBLPmb2TrTs-UNTnxfyN3-9fOgzK5XjuM9Ma2AkINDDb_Tx47zJWGX3cK00HWxlitTkBLXSAcV6XXsRPF-VMYa5CkPpqyw/s4032/IMG_3650.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9UVJDnQ28qtWONi_4OC0Uj3qxmjQiVFMDvrxW0RXkY4efzKGehOvec3KyHgELb8ACCn78_fLLek74AyNaq_J9haYmFScxoBLPmb2TrTs-UNTnxfyN3-9fOgzK5XjuM9Ma2AkINDDb_Tx47zJWGX3cK00HWxlitTkBLXSAcV6XXsRPF-VMYa5CkPpqyw/s320/IMG_3650.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p> We couldnt leave the flat this time last year. Couldn't even make it to the bins sometimes. Think I remember a post about the total dread experienced when May turned to June. Not so this year. Was a bit worried We would feel something close to that awfulness, that triggered terror on the day of the coronation that Tesco and the met office kindly told us about but nothing like it. Jesus those late last year posts acting like we were getting out fucking telling Junior we might be going home and 'twin'? wtf. </p><p> Unfortunately, ended up in the garden the same time as the downstairs horror story and knew she was going to say something there was no way she wasn't going to mention it. She asked if We watched it I said 'Nah' pointlessly hoping that would be the end of it. She started talking about how 'wonderful' it was and we stuck up for ourself and all that is decent everywhere by saying it's 'a bit ridiculous for a modern country'. She started something then, think it included the word 'you' and in previous years definitely would of triggered another death threat for her but at that very moment Junior bless him turned up at the top of the stairs bemoaning the lack of frozen baked potatoes so We could properly not hear and turn our attention to him. We fought for it to happen decades ago. It was going to happen anyway so why not let my mum publicly abdicate and hope we could spend more time together. There's no abdicating from Royal Enslavement though. Yanks were very against it.</p><p>Things are okay. We don't have our names or real ID or anything that inherits or anything We worked hard for and earned, totally without contact, friendship, security, support, safe healthcare, representation, a home chosen by Us and not our abusers or any of the peace of mind that comes with such basics. But fine. We can drink and garden in the sunshine and tell ourself that hopefully that shoes we ordered will fit so will start walking again. We have been using the weights again a little and don't get bothered by the humanoids so much when there's muscle. Need to keep at it though and we arn't getting much of a break in pain. Do work on our arms when they're browned though and they are so that's something.</p><p>Tears of the Kingdom has been a wonderful distraction but now We have all the sages are very low on side quests and the main quest is 'defeat Ganandorf' We often abandoned Hyrule at this point. There's still little areas We haven't explored much and annoying stuff We haven't figured out like the depressed Gerudo woman out and of course do not have the full set of climbing gear but do have all three pieces of fucking Tingle's outfit...</p><p>Usual when We find anything that helps we binge heavily because it helps and there's nothing else to do. Junior's stopped playing so much he started with the last sage and only recently got access to the great fairies even though We kept telling him about the guy the needed rescued from the crater. Very lucky we just came across him early before we were really thinking about upping clothing defense. I don't know how he does it.</p><p>He has one exam left. Turn's sixteen next month. It's official they took his entire childhood bar a few weeks when he was little and during operations when he was older his dissociation dropped. It's triggering how it felt for us in our teens during the forced fake life with all the hate, violence and abuse. We wouldn't be going or having a home when still a child, or twenties, or thirties. I couldn't get us out Dad.</p><p>Ouch.</p><p>He's staying on and where are trying to not start hyperventilating a the thought of us still being here at 18 and the benefits end and we need to figure out someway for him to be an independent adult in Britain when he's my kid so can't ever be an 'independent adult' even without the autism. The hate talk and behavior everywhere it's going to disappear the annihilated population isn't going to fix itself, the institutions and not going to become safe or even indifferent towards us. That's not how institutions work and it's not what these institutions were established for. </p><p>Garden is gorgeous though. Haven't been taking much pics but this one has my buddy in it. He's always close.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQg-E_6rnh7IjVpVTA9lQ6veTnV0PQ0EcnW1qFT8RcKN4iMcX8zOHhZT-GJsmWJKVEyCeyrUlddkbsCxi9j1uyy3IPaI8LJtQA0Hkgnr9jkDuFU6UJ8rUwLjUK1B_PGwga-KU3igcmAbNRN6-wQGPqMvCRgfpWFt8Uf-x6sdhPLbKkDek0Ae5p_nVI_Q/s1707/IMG_3646.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1302" data-original-width="1707" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQg-E_6rnh7IjVpVTA9lQ6veTnV0PQ0EcnW1qFT8RcKN4iMcX8zOHhZT-GJsmWJKVEyCeyrUlddkbsCxi9j1uyy3IPaI8LJtQA0Hkgnr9jkDuFU6UJ8rUwLjUK1B_PGwga-KU3igcmAbNRN6-wQGPqMvCRgfpWFt8Uf-x6sdhPLbKkDek0Ae5p_nVI_Q/w400-h305/IMG_3646.HEIC" width="400" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><br /><br /><p><br /></p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjovAecm2F60mZEt9kxiFJ7Czo3KFl0z5x1w0nRdlUXwnoAOOuD23uAn0qPKWwhPZfTLnQfAQuSm74B0UxbWgbzFPT-B2vXx778ZGRltgjFNWo3F5UyL7hYmpgufAMSPSPLHA3wv_AllphwtWa1JFAN8UEI4xxJEI5nEnrJODkQZru1RjjtP3y91st2BQ/s4032/IMG_3647.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjovAecm2F60mZEt9kxiFJ7Czo3KFl0z5x1w0nRdlUXwnoAOOuD23uAn0qPKWwhPZfTLnQfAQuSm74B0UxbWgbzFPT-B2vXx778ZGRltgjFNWo3F5UyL7hYmpgufAMSPSPLHA3wv_AllphwtWa1JFAN8UEI4xxJEI5nEnrJODkQZru1RjjtP3y91st2BQ/w300-h400/IMG_3647.HEIC" width="300" /></a></div><br />By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-26900178649009538092023-03-19T23:33:00.001+00:002023-03-19T23:33:26.761+00:00Rosa Anastasia Romanov<p> My mum never showed us any disappointment at first when she when she asked us to choose a name and went with Romanov and not her Dad's name. Jewish as fuck. Still can't remember the name she identified with the most for most of her life or names she gave me at our Bat Mitzvah. You can hear her crying all the way through it. We said I love you Mum half way through. Love the whole Hebrew and singing thing. Love the whole no heaven or hell thing but Romanov came with the real history of Earth people's past and present including freemasonry and ancient cults that did start out as anti slavery, real resources about what the UK and US have done and were planning, the beliefs and practices of annihilated people, DID skills which are programming survival skills, maps of Earth and beyond, real science real art and so much more.</p><p> Romanov meant training and education in stuff that was otherwise completely destroyed. It was anti slavery, anti misogynies, anti genocide and anti anti Semitic while we where constantly fighting, hiding and running from Israelis and they were skilled and horrific. It was decades before we could find anyone in Israel authorities who was capable of caring about the fact that British kids utterly seeped in hate with a life time of handlers where being swapped with Jewish kids who were sold, bred, murdered. We pretty much accepted there wasn't any or enough non fubared or replaced Jews left in the 80s, not in Israel or the UK anyway and the US media ones feature regularly in our nightmares. Finding survivors would be as good as killing them ourself so We stopped looking. </p><p>Mum didn't have the Romanov history though. Judaism meant everything to her and the fact she was banned from practicing just made her hold on to it even harder there was no way I would want to take that from her. Couldn't give her the Romanov stuff though anymore than her mother could when she was held and surrounded by the deeply anti Semitic, always misogynistic, genocidal, dedicated to child and unborn baby abuse, Satanic oath swearing, generally lobotomized, AI controlled, human farming, utterly irrational, extremely rapey, life and love intolerant British monarchy. </p><p>The last decade though she got everything that me and her mother had to keep back from her. I noticed at the barracks here she was signing 'Romanov'. Can't say it doesn't really piss us off that I can't remember her first name though. It would be the one her Dad gave her, genetic match, camp tattoo, He came over to see us in Dundee we made brisket but not very well but he ate it all up while casually explaining to his partner that he knew what she was then he went home and gave himself a lethal overdoes. We could hear Mum weep for hours and hours she would beg me not to leave her every time I had to get up to pee. He was just boy when she was conceived. No consent from either parent of course.</p><p>She always said not to worry about remembering her real name. We would if We really needed to and otherwise it didn't matter because her name was 'Mummy'. Remembered her real death though, a yearish before the murder of the brainless abusive fake one. Before, holding her hand in a fucking van on street outside she asked if I really thought she would be going so quietly if she didn't know I would be going home. My mum, two dads all assisted suicides to avoid brutal murders and to help us get home. Her heart broke over Martin's death to. They are already home or most of them anyway. Our baby girl was the first ashes we left there, Star. </p><p>Sick fuck Britain, sick fuck big Britain. We swing from hour to hour, from almost feeling like we are already home to feeling like this is as good as it gets, no calls, no visits but no ID or home either. In-between We fantasize about the physical destruction of the figure heads and the institutions that are both the productions and perpetrators of so many centuries of so much horror and loss.</p><p> Lots of remembering of course to and distracting ourself with books, ghost stories and dumb yank dramas. Think there is enough of Us present and connecting to permanently avoid Grey's Anatomy. All those actor/activist/abusers. Lost fucking souls.</p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-38609664218117524082022-12-16T17:13:00.002+00:002022-12-16T17:13:31.666+00:00Mum<p> Six months that's about right for a death to properly start to sink in it especially when we were so utterly dissociated before during and after it happened and there is no one to talk to. I think I said I loved you on the night it happened. You were begging them to let you speak to me. We said please to. You said you loved us too but they put you down before you could say our name. We pretty much believe it wasn't you but the horrific antiyou at the funeral. If I'm not there than neither will you be. Did it still have the scar on the hand I gave it back in the eighties? To help the thousands of girls they would kidnap, buy then traumatise to total dissociation then tell them they were me and then usually murder unless they took to being tortured and torturing others then I would end up having to kill them. Pretty much believe to that there was a similar deal with Dad. We opened the drawer and showed him the frozen corpse of his replacement and said it was being kept for his funeral so the both of you can get a real warrior's funeral together with me present. He wept he was so glad and proud. Failing to believe in anything right or good ever happening today. Too many people were told the plans to murder you. For fuck sake we tweeted it together. Are any of them even your biological children? Even if one or two of them are they were they all offended against you and me and so many others. Truly trump UK. Nothing matters.</p><p>Nightmares were rough last night and it's left us feeling utterly hopeless today. Lynne was in it, Pablo screaming as a a baby and something about cleaning Marshall's finger nails. Trying to protect him from Lynne? Currently hoping that's a death thing. Destroy everything and kill everyone. Kid stood no chance. It's not like you carried him. It's not like he ever had the back up I do. It's not like it possible to pay the rings to not horrifically torture little kids. They can be relied upon to make another move on my real world earnings and that will trigger mass destruction so I guess there is that to look forward to.</p><p> Woo hoo I'm not currently under Charles having bits of my brain and limbs removed and something similar for Pablo. Woo hoo we only had one day in December without essentials first time for that. Without you egging us on we are not cleaning, putting decorations up or singing carols. Saw the downstairs neighbor look disgusted I'm still here. There is another that may try and say something sympathetic about your death who we are of course also avoiding. Feels like it's a matter of time before someone local says something and it sickens us.</p><p>Still believe in Peter though. Think he has gotten out of the badly faked home in Alaska. Hope the cat is out and de chipped to and the place and it's ridiculous laminate floors has been burned down. Both of them, maybe there was two. Can't be sure of anything except how sick everything is. He does know what he's doing. I love you sweetie petey. </p><p>Pablo says he remembers nothing and We believe him. He mostly changes the subject or repeats abuser lines when we try and talk to him, can't hold it against him I've spent so long in similar states. Not enjoying him being at the school still, it's even harder to accept or be involved in. Nope no one paid us for the work done to secure the building for him and the rest of the little shits up there that love throwing pens and whatever else at his head and saying christ knows what nasty shit to and about him.</p><p>I hate that we could so rarely just talk to each other. Even when you snuck in here last year we couldn't just talk. All the fucking zombie military. Can't even fight for their own lives. What an evil thing to have done to so many. Spouting hate and following illegal orders is all they are capable of. Poor bastards. I hope We do eventually give them a real reason to hate us both beyond having amazing minds and vaginas. You out of all that now though. Charles and all the rest of them can't hurt you again. Wish I wasn't so fucking alone with it all though. Out by my birthday on the 21st. I think you meant that and were not just forced to say it. Attempts to call autopilot are so far unsuccessful.</p><p> Maybe there will be better dreams tonight and tomorrow won't be so awful. </p><p>Love you mummy. We were so good for each other and I'm so glad so the times we did have together even if you couldn't find any comfrey for us to eat. </p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-47840442979771062612022-11-20T18:32:00.000+00:002022-11-20T18:32:04.946+00:00<p> Any corner we found for peace, comfort over the decades they had you to destroy it for them. Any happy little, any doesn't give a fuck teen and you and yours were on the phone or at the door. All the fucking calls from your nearest and dearest. All fucking horrible. Calls to tell you your daughter's being abused and getting shit from you because of it become abusive calls from your daughter. Your wife under the impression she will get money from Mom you know because she needs it for basics like healthcare and education.. It's not what Mom wanted especially after she got the full brief on everything that had and was happening to us because of you so you probably have a shot at getting something. The conditions your first albums where produced in. Decade upon decade of horrific fucking crimes that We can't hold you responsible for because your clearly gone.</p><p>It was still the 80s when the RAF started boasting about having my brother. Like We hadn't noticed. Like we didn't feel everything they did.</p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-58732889029116935232022-11-19T23:29:00.000+00:002022-11-19T23:29:58.182+00:00Twin. Don't forget your socks.<p> If I remembered both it triggered all the work they forced us today for mum and bro and how amnesiac they both were of it. All set up the way to destroy any hope or love left in us. Were times in Dundee especially when the worst had been fought back or silenced for while and bairn and I were alright in the flat but could hear and feel everything and everyone around them and we felt infinitely freer and generally better off than both of them. That guy next to you that encourages you to forget or not worry about me well he's got my number on speed dial and he's not trying to help. It helped to remember that when attempting to address the abuser controlled DID you were both rocking whilst not making my own worse. And I thought We were nuts. Got to enforce some basics over your living and sleeping space.</p><p> We both got our final hugs didn't We? How generous of them. I handed over new tech and intel that the Brits have been hoarding, stealing and murdering over my whole life to an array of foreign nationals. Thinking about the helps with how it felt to hold you after as you broke whilst being too fucking surrounded to be fully present. So done with all this shit James.</p><p>Got a day or two of delicious rock hard little nuggets left. Not thinking about how this is all going to work when they run out. It's not working for Us as it is. Mourning drinking. Painstakingly detangling decades of wires intentionally crossed in our head. Again. We knew it was on the way but still we were not fully prepared for the exhaustion that hit was when it was made formally actually properly real and official that mother was asking to reconnect and catch her up on anything missed. For a moment it all came into view. Everything we had done, everyone who had helped, everything lost, everything going to be lost, everything yet to do. It wasn't exactly a flash either it stayed it came into mind vividly and refused to leave until I had really looked it over. We wobbled but didn't drop the call. Felt like the absolute fucking business afterwards before the exhaustion took over.</p><p>We would have glossed or played some sleight of hand shit and a lot but she was pretty pretty strict We were also pretty strict about the fact that as I couldn't vouch for her safety any more than she could ours I definitely wasn't going to give her information that was quite possibly going to floor her. So that meant lovely chilled out totally safe chats with her highest security people who of course We had all kinds of history with. We did it because she was our mum, not because we needed to know what remote controlled creatures and extreme fascists inhabited the Queens top security and the schemes to harm her they were involved in. Already knew all about that all ready written up as much I was ever going to have to stomach to write up. She had to keep talking me into it though. We were so sick of it all.</p><p>It was worth it though, getting her back meant getting me back. We heard ourself talking about everything We had done. Fixing connections between parts as we went. The people that surround you have always been on the same if not a higher level of evil what the fuckness her's. So we had to shelve you because we just wanted to tell you everything when you were the worst person to tell. We need our spell checker. And your on a different land mass it's not all the easy for me to turn up find out exactly what is going on. Watching you to chatter and make up like two alien toddlers made it worth while as well. </p><p>It would be good if one of our birdies could take you here and then take us all home. Mum would love us to spend Christmas in London together but I'm also sure she wanted us to be formally notified. And for none of us to have been separated and tortured. </p><p>Both our safety and sanity have been very effected by things that were happening to either one of us. The use one to fuck up the other even one or both of us is amnesiac and far far away. It's definitely fucked me us up anyway. We were doing some amazingly important work and they got at you and stopped me from doing this. Everyone who works with me needs you to be safe even if don't fully understand why or from whom. 'Secure the stupid twin' is always a small number every time when allocating numbers to operational steps. Also of course the more time together we are the more sense both of us start making sense. No wonder they keep us apart. Fly fucking coach. Pray. And I'll see you in a few hours?</p><p>Nothing feels though. Guess if your locked up for murdering a heap of people that is a forgivable excuse but maybe you haven't tried your immunities out for a while? Don't think We ever quite told you how nifty they are not enough of you anyway. They are very nifty. Exceedingly nifty.</p><p>There is few enough. of those delicious solid green lumps that it's starting to cause concern. Anxiety spasm like a kick in the guts type concern. Fucking weird those calls with the three of us. I'm only doing this because my DID directs me to. We had to keep repeating if because the tortured E.Ps were taking up so much space and would loose it in the presence of real loving family. </p><p>Knowing the space needed for us to have those calls would mean halting somethings in Aberdeen and watching them have to turn on their own networks was absolutely delicious. But of course there was also times where I was looking forward to the Fife levels of dissociation that were to come. And it did really really break my heart when those wires were recrossed again. But then she called me because together We had figured out enough space and time for our own calls after.</p><p>They are on the lowest heat possible. It would be absolutely heart breaking also if we scorched those very small green balls. One day.. Big flat clusters dried in their own sweet time.</p><p>Without herb. The only answer to the anxiety is navynavynavy.. Wolves. Flicker. Knowing my mum asked for six months after her death and I'd already given her the year. A crueler sister would take a pic of the meager supplies to shame and trigger you but I am not her. They see anything I own as theirs to keep me from like it's my mothers'. Yeah they I've offered to sign over all sorts if they will just let me leave. Cause I can't actually sign anything over to the yanks. Cause we're at war. They will use every penny, every cent to hurt me and anything I care about.</p><p>A world where the USA isn't doing that Sir will sounds like a utopia at the moment Sir. Yeah all that shit that is going to happen happening does make all of that utopian shit a lot more possible. It's not like I'm actually capable of doing anything actually stupid anyway. Yeah exactly I am a fucking slave and every fucking second of it counts and my mum was a slave to and she was also the Queen and a bunch of other real accomplishment shit and she still couldn't get herself our of slavery. Who the fuck am I?</p><p>True. No they tried but she was always wrapped up in ancient earth shit couldn't get her to see the bigger bigger picture stuff any more than I could. Yes actually and you were right it did help see where our positions are different. Yep the different fathers is relevant. She was shocked at how much and we finally got to laugh about it. I'm already rich Mum and it's nothing to do with you. None of it helps me out tonight or tomorrow morning though does it Sir?</p><p>..or put more simply mother, it's the KKK.. Or rather the KKK working closely with the RAF over child trafficking and torture. With all the assortment of industry support because of the rings. The UK and the US will not allow me to formally exist. If I'm anyone. I'm Louise Elizabeth Johnston, third daughter of Margo and Bill. 1979. No brother. No you. Your a mangled voice at the end of the phone that I'm pretty sure has a different source to the last time. Yeah Toby not Petey.</p><p><br /></p><p>We overthink it don't We? All the shit is down and it's made no fucking material difference. Basic and primal rather than some lesson we need to learn. Just fucking unpleasant and most likely avoidable. Part of life.</p><p>But because of the early stuff the separated us. Me having work to do from a tiny age. And a lot of stuff pulling me away from you not all of it innocently and me knowing how horrific and impossible to survive things were We didn't want to lean on you, like we said, we lean on you and then your not there anymore and I fall over. Really hard because I was sharing everything with someone and now they are not there at all. Not even any real memory to hold on to. Just a knowledge that things were very different to how they were and it was so recently. </p><p>Wolves go fetch my brother.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-31800379200727185162022-11-16T21:48:00.000+00:002022-11-16T21:48:59.676+00:00<p> Benefit day tomorrow. No idea if it would be best to spend on Junior's xmas or mostly on booze and goodies to keep our spirits up now. If we spend it all getting to December it's going to be particularly misrable if we go through the entire season without contact. Started growing way too late as well. Not sure if there will be much overlap between decorations being up and plant matter. Kind of gutted if we think about that. It will be easier probably to have a sense of Mum there just won't be any live interaction. Won't be pretending it's not her I'm missing but there has always been some more memories and movements of parts around Winterfest even if there isn't any drink or drugs to help facilitate it's always a little intimating as it gets closer. Partly why we go so nuts. Oh yeah we are going to remember everything we are and been and how totally powerless we are to give ourself safe and comfortable living conditions. What fun. Don't want to make it worse for ourself in a few weeks time really want to give ourself all the comfort we can right now. What the fuck am I supposed to do with myself? I have a jigsaw I guess I could get that out. Can't get ourself to focus enough to read but we do still find bits and pieces streaming to amuse us for a bit.</p><p>We got to live in hope. If we can. She wasn't a fan of us denying ourself and was aware of 'Christmas us' of course she would have her room decorated just for us if she thought I might be able to visit. So slightly tipsy avoid drunk because that just feels so much worse. If we alone looking at lonely, skint, weedless weeks with or without stupid decorations up it will probably hit particularly hard because we never real found a way to prepare ourself for it but there is no point in extending the misery now. More chance of thinking up a way out of it if we feel better. Just don't go to stupid. Just in case.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-62188698780952711462022-11-16T12:00:00.000+00:002022-11-16T12:00:24.031+00:00So if there was a huge evil American supercomputer.<p> The only 'The Towers' we wanted, needed and have been involved in plans to harm and/or destroy. If it did exist but no longer became so how would we manage this without formal confirmation? Well We are going to know aren't we? At least partly. The very real deaths from above would theoretically protected it. In would maybe be in our mind as the reason locals always know so much so quickly and were kept ready to do any horrific shit any time. So maybe that would mean the main thing that keeps life so awful for us in the UK is no longer a thing. Yeah We would probably be too anxious and triggered and programmed to want to write about it or have any real confidence in any of it. Yeah it will be after our Mom has died and We wont have to keep ourself nuts to stop ourself remembering who she is and what's happening to her. And yeah we will have remembered We have a Home. And land. And drilling rights.</p><p>No not any teeny tiny bit of Us thinks my mum decided she was going to leave me and Junior as we are after she's gone. Leave us to fate, others. She tried that before and now I'm always going to be partly feral. And yeah all the cults and the pre determinism and death rights. Do I think I would of helped her with that yes. Lots since I dunno sometime before birth and whatever other help we needed with it from everything and everyone ever.</p><p>While she was alive We could only wake up so much before remembering how and when she was going to die and know we would get so little time together. Even when I found a way to stop myself s we would be intentionally and brutally reminded soon enough. A lot of the same systems that kept us down in Scotland, that keep us down here. Instant horrible violent depraved humanoids in the place you are trying to pretend is home. Knowing every time your moved you have start again with beating them back. Back to the of the door at least. It wasn't until we talked about this huge evil supercompter or it's equivalent that she's got while this has always plagued us. We were counting through all the stuff that will be over soon after she is and she forgot about the tooth and we laughed and cried about that. It's they do love me that makes it's a fucking problem. They were literary dragged out shouting they would be back as they were knocked out but now too much time has passed and too much shit has happened for them to be able to do that. It sucks.</p><p>It's the feral, bad times cold, hunger, pain and stuff from when very little. We have been telling ourself it's going to feel better for a long time now. She was always very clear to us and worked hard to keep her stuff separate from the crown when they were always pushing her to hand it all over. She would hold on to stuff much longer than I would. I always knew that handing it over to them was often a really good way of getting rid of it. They would literally burn through it and then there would be nothing left to fight about. She came round when I should her ways to encourage them to burn through all the faster in ways that were unharmful to anyone but themselves. Lots of training opportunities for the kids. No chance of it getting out of hand.</p><p>No surveillance and punishment machine in the states. Yeah they would prefer we not say that if it were true. There will be all kinds of plans if it is true and it still takes us back to waiting. Alone. With a teenage male mini male I'm utterly terrified for and of. And they still have lots of smaller ones watching always. With all those crazy past achievements we are barred from seeing any record us. Except this. Not quite the same though.</p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-70261997678587779272022-11-15T11:05:00.001+00:002022-11-15T11:05:34.442+00:00<p> Even if there was no option but to bullshit each other talking to her could stop the world from spinning. I got grounded. Afterwards we couldn't believe the calls that used to make us doubt ourself were all now ridiculous. Whatever had or happened whoever they clearly in no place to be able to help themselves never mind us or anyone else. The longer the calls lasted the more of our past We got. So this is how they keep Us answering the fucking phone it's the only way We get any connection with ourself. Through more fucking abuse, manipulation and exploitation. Once that calls over We know they are not going to wake Us up for our own good. Whose this now at the door? As the vivid words, times places of what We are supposed to feel and our own and our mothers efforts to mitigate it's all clearly in our mind instead dragging us down from beyond the sliver of anxious PTSD crippled consciousness. All just lit up.</p><p>It must have been a while since either of Us had been able to check on help out each other's dissociated states. There was a lot of heart break as We saw the parts of each other that had been hurt so bad, damaged beyond repair. Then relief after a while and found each other's and could show each other our cores more or less intact. We guess it would of been sometime after Italia 08 that they really shut us down again. That was mostly over the phone from my flat in Dundee to her in whatever palace corner or suite that we could find that was safe enough from the endless hoards of royal and royal staff slavers. She might of stayed with us for a while but things were the kind of extreme you never know, true enough for us all. Junior skipping back from school asking if the old lady was still staying with us, '..I like that old lady..' Me to hun.</p><p>Things were crazy enough in Fife the made space for us to have a laugh sometimes with each other along with all the sharing and working together on war plans. That Christmas We went nuts on the xmas deco was partly for her. I did the kitchen up, had help with the food and did our best to put pillows on the brutal cheap chairs in an attempt to make them more comfortable to sit on for hours. Princess puss was particularly enamored, Jess not so much. She sat close by as she could and watched. </p><p>Without her though. We are struggling to imagine anyone turning up if it's not their job. And it's a bit like when we knew We had to leave Fife would have to do it all ourself knew physically that it was going to be very rough but worse than that it was take something from us that we didn't think we could get back. Maybe they are parts of Us We will better without but that's just a rationalisation to avoid admitting how much it fucking hurts.</p><p>Her hate and terror at Us being surrounded by victims is pressing down pretty hard right now. She didn't always belief it was top of my priorities but it always was. They leave us no space to think Mum. How can anyone know how they feel about something if they have no room to think? It wasn't like being surrounded by Satanic butlers, maids, footmen and whatever was any better. Oh it's a really good quality and choice you have in food and drink that's increasingly laced with something lethal, mind boggling and quickly physically addictive. Good views though.</p><p>When it came to there being any time, opportunity for anything resembling friendship. It was almost always all her. And if it wasn't all her it was made possible because stuff that had previously happened that were all her. I tried but couldn't stomach it. I wasn't very good at it. We fucking hated them. There was no dumb cheesy hope. Just fools like drunks in a mine field. But it was all worth it when someone did eventually show relatively all by themselves for good reasons. </p><p>That was then though and only 'now' in away that seems unlikely to continue for a long time. It's not like we are in a position where we could consider delaying someone doing their job and transforming the material conditions of our life for a second to wait for second just incase. It was never possible for anyone to stay long enough to convince me they would if they could hang out with us depressed, lost, scared, skint in shitty housing.. We are alright when we're busy.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-54487778055937203932022-11-13T19:52:00.000+00:002022-11-13T19:52:03.424+00:00<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJg_hSYQcasAOENpxZgvXjjkK1TkKVDlkQFahUU2G18q9VibrcSC0-o0rjRz98UyrIWfHkgb3cvZx4mRWRrwniIEDJNat6hOlFgvq3-8LapfsaB3hLOrNFh8GO9kAn61d7oNmpBB1p1f1ePEuUsfiEju_NHwWTydoh1cALqony7ZZ7AOXMw-aN195bcw/s4032/IMG_3579.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJg_hSYQcasAOENpxZgvXjjkK1TkKVDlkQFahUU2G18q9VibrcSC0-o0rjRz98UyrIWfHkgb3cvZx4mRWRrwniIEDJNat6hOlFgvq3-8LapfsaB3hLOrNFh8GO9kAn61d7oNmpBB1p1f1ePEuUsfiEju_NHwWTydoh1cALqony7ZZ7AOXMw-aN195bcw/w400-h300/IMG_3579.HEIC" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>We went out in the a.m. for backing, Got reminded pretty quickly it was the Sunday nearest 11/11. We didn't retreat, not much walking recently. Any effort was going to be a big deal. It's only when We are really up against it that We resent the sight of fake red poppies anyway. Rows of medals though dude was probably not that much older than us. We couldn't completely act like nothing matters. Too many fucking ghosts.</p><p>Cooked the roast in bag chicken, par boiled then roasted the baby pots, pastry flowers and found a few carrots that were not totally bendy. Gravy. Of course.</p><p>There was discussions. As soon as We move from 'where for art thou husband' back to Wolf Queen, that is when they might let him go. Do We shut shut that shit the fuck down and only share details when very essential or let it go, up to including securing the school run for the pilot's ex's ex kids and every bodies lunches on the actual day? Can We ever really turn our back on someone that need's that much oversight? Can we actually bring it home after everything else We have already done?</p><p>The fake wedding talk when We were nuts and couldn't say anything. Automatic annulment. Stupid yanks. Don't think it's past yet if it's a thing at all outside of us. Marriage has always been a way for people who don't legally count to have a shot at existing. Sometimes it works. Not looking good though is it? It's all a lot more wolf than pug. </p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-68262002004961478632022-11-13T00:09:00.000+00:002022-11-13T00:09:14.571+00:00Saturday 12th November<p>Alienated and isolated triggers scripts so of course all the stuff about buying a third xmas T brings up the 80s. The first clear association is on the lawn in front of Balnaboth, summer time, some nasty zombie male threatening the life of the third intended recipient. Me feeling that this is all ridiculous. Other voices at other times also long ago saying good things are dependent on the buying of the T. Me just hating all this crap. All this forced to not feel, think or remember myself crap.</p><p>There was some jealousy but mostly it was overwhelming relief to know Pete was home. Not in the house don't think any one can get in there without me. But in one of the flats. Couldn't say much over the phone of course. Don't know how many people are there now. All we care about is when the +2 of myself and junior is added and the shutters can stay up for a while. </p><p>Ran out of plant rations for the day how annoying for us but good for the plant. Grilled some lamb and stuck it in a pitta with lettuce and he didn't leave a scrap. The kitchen at home is pretty good for grills think we've been quite into it meat and veg. We got one of the bulldozer operators to help us move snow around for sledging. Turned on the big spot lights when it got dark. Small sprained wrist had us very freaked out. What if it had been worse? You got it wrapped up and we couldn't handle seeing you in pain so we gave you pain killers. Stuck inside we gave you a tour and talked about some of the pieces, archeology, history of the war and stuff. You were so thrilled and it was a wake up moment for us we couldn't see it all from someone else's eyes before. Awesome.</p><p>Got a lump that is probably a cist under an eyelid at the moment. Ew. Hope it sorts itself out. </p><p>Might get into growing a little fruit in veg indoors after awhile. Cat trees is probably what we will want first though. We've dreamed about that many times over many years. Sorting out education for the lad of course think about that a lot. We can almost remember what it feels like to be us but it's extremely slippery and impossible to grab. </p><p>Home by the solstice. What if we are not though? Then we will be sad but it won't kill us. They haven't forgotten about us. We haven't forgotten about Us. And it's a week before there is money to be buying any stupid Ts that we probably won't be ordering any of because it's too loaded and We fucking hate scripts.</p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-15087346769689790552022-11-11T18:57:00.001+00:002022-11-11T18:57:36.284+00:00November 11th 2022<p> It's pitch black at tea time that's Winter enough.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgag_yQWV_y-3olx0kf3Ai4fGUTTsmSIZMtSXTvpVrm1hekVE72bnf4ZMM6_kbTvxIUGMFwvhEfT42yBOcRi0SK2_PEiiVyp58eaSExFonBHtPI3yit9icj_BjayinxBXhDvgZYOIpNTYAD5ZC1AzEjP5p49Mb7ahzVUAWl2PWG9Jt3TKRfmaavR6Pd_g/s4032/IMG_3576.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgag_yQWV_y-3olx0kf3Ai4fGUTTsmSIZMtSXTvpVrm1hekVE72bnf4ZMM6_kbTvxIUGMFwvhEfT42yBOcRi0SK2_PEiiVyp58eaSExFonBHtPI3yit9icj_BjayinxBXhDvgZYOIpNTYAD5ZC1AzEjP5p49Mb7ahzVUAWl2PWG9Jt3TKRfmaavR6Pd_g/s320/IMG_3576.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5A_KbV9l6brEN3w76i507_oZDqtokC-0XrPNlqh05erOMeU9pQAOnOCQSSJMjDQZE_jbE-FtbEJVENC0bGCLMD44Ps1aTAvIijD3uzwqtZMmpup9Dhp9irEV7j8OEyzc9uBYAAhJmOdvTw2v2LgUCOyWSwawS-9lUmXniJxxqPwuOn9s7bCC-9NhPdg/s3275/IMG_3575.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2619" data-original-width="3275" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5A_KbV9l6brEN3w76i507_oZDqtokC-0XrPNlqh05erOMeU9pQAOnOCQSSJMjDQZE_jbE-FtbEJVENC0bGCLMD44Ps1aTAvIijD3uzwqtZMmpup9Dhp9irEV7j8OEyzc9uBYAAhJmOdvTw2v2LgUCOyWSwawS-9lUmXniJxxqPwuOn9s7bCC-9NhPdg/s320/IMG_3575.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWYYJkk3jFUtViElf6kj7P8usSUtF3MotCX9BUzblSsU6Do9DTnJ9OCrLaGXrDQLjEbGnZz_8h-AcUMthQ_2P5XdmXHNvNYqtF2yARqiM4aeW53grO1vCoZBM8F8fTZv86VTyVmAOU13i0jaX7X-DabuJqDDtJ3p6JIQMKpdaML26NQfXnKAxL3nfexg/s4032/IMG_3573.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWYYJkk3jFUtViElf6kj7P8usSUtF3MotCX9BUzblSsU6Do9DTnJ9OCrLaGXrDQLjEbGnZz_8h-AcUMthQ_2P5XdmXHNvNYqtF2yARqiM4aeW53grO1vCoZBM8F8fTZv86VTyVmAOU13i0jaX7X-DabuJqDDtJ3p6JIQMKpdaML26NQfXnKAxL3nfexg/s320/IMG_3573.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>We made a vague start on a runway once. Think I remember a call.</p><p><span> </span> Looks like a runway your building there you know that's not allowed.</p><p> Yeah sorry I almost forgot was thinking about a big garden of some sorts maybe one day. Maybe more buildings for all our defenses they would all need some kind of road access if We were ever going to build. Not planning on doing much with it now. Just thought it best We keep busy.</p><p> Scottish Secondary School years. 1992/3/4</p><p>We don't think the wolves will need to Winter in the Wolf shed this Winter. Not for a while anyway and probably not for long if they do. It's them that are asking about it most. Where's the signs of homecoming? </p><p>We are finding the moody classical more to our taste anyway. Have a decent amount of gothic in telly and books too. I doubt she will see us to advent but she's here now and We can see our breath and see the tree lines even though the room is warm and it's mild outside despite the wind whistling and moaning, rapping at letter boxes for days while I take the delivered gifts for even weeks time and raw meat, bread; some of it seasoned, salad and booze up the stairs. When we light and replace the tea lights. While we mop the bathroom floor and think about doing those home improvements we put off for four years and remember to take the essential meds out of the low temp grill before we turn the oven up for pizza after removing the excess ham and placing halved suger belle tomatoes on the frozen salami and leaving the mushrooms on.</p><p>They all always hated how little sky We get.</p><p>It's not forever.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-83422908269418597632022-11-10T15:41:00.000+00:002022-11-10T15:41:02.861+00:00Romanov Forever<p> There she was the poor horrific horrid thing the was a neighbour in Fife, bed on the other side of the wall to our own. Pregnant telling Us they were going to convince me her poor fetus was mine. They were about the same stage. I wasn't convinced much of that but they would definitely convince the kid and the heartbreak of them bringing him back again and again after having free reign to do whatever they liked to him the rest of the time was going to be effective. It was going to almost kill us. Special child, Romanov, different fucking species. Brain like mine growing next to a brain like hers. To be fed and clothed in an environment where child rape and torture is not just tolerated it's compulsory.</p><p>He did so well for so long. We always do.</p><p>Got some Guinness and beef Space Raiders. Might not be able to get Space Raiders soon. What's happening with the Norwegian Satanists? States backing down yet? How's Russia? </p><p>Mental health wise, how is the kid I was carrying, probably? Can he drive? If I order xmas tshirts how many do I order and in what sizes? </p><p>Think it's time to let go of the tangles oversized knot of lights that have been around since Fife. There is no way they are not going to be triggering AF. There is some in the basket. Already ordered? Well there was a resin santa, sleigh reindeer, lights up thing that was reduced and might not be there if we wait. Stocking filler fidget toys, candles, yu-gi-oh, Splatoon 3, made start on books, more in the list. L.A. Noire for myself cause it looks like something I might like maybe and We really need something to do sometimes. Jammies in the basket. Got Tesco tomorrow and week before UC so they and the tinsel and beads and whatever else is in there can wait.</p><p>They ran Us through this so many times. We thought they were trying to get me to say what we would do or tell them what was already decided. But really they were just trying to fuck up 2022 from any other year. So they could get a few more months. A few more whatever in the bank, every little bit more damage.</p><p>It. Is. Different. Now.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-28586034413265465302022-11-09T19:03:00.000+00:002022-11-09T19:03:24.894+00:00Early Winter Cleaning<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg35cqVQooyT0u9G3AWQ9cxVcINLkg9ZhUkQaaQOw7Thq-w2xzFRJnMjtWNaQ0p2iX5OKZq0thERG0-723oTMW3_o67LGetIseeEhf4N0iEHU8JpAGj_CyxmXZPZ7IXtk5ws_iZubLiGRlh1bbkqXb8HFlcAYu05kPODykpYb36BVDFp88KoS4Hkf_gdw/s4032/IMG_3572.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg35cqVQooyT0u9G3AWQ9cxVcINLkg9ZhUkQaaQOw7Thq-w2xzFRJnMjtWNaQ0p2iX5OKZq0thERG0-723oTMW3_o67LGetIseeEhf4N0iEHU8JpAGj_CyxmXZPZ7IXtk5ws_iZubLiGRlh1bbkqXb8HFlcAYu05kPODykpYb36BVDFp88KoS4Hkf_gdw/w400-h300/IMG_3572.HEIC" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div>Got into genuinely enjoying the afternoons in the Winter before when everything is quiet and there is no sounds from passers by or neighbors for a while. Watching the clock face appear more and more as the leaves fall. Soaking up the changes in colour and light around the steeple and above the town. Feeling glad just to be Us sometimes. Can't listen to the lovely chilled classical playlists that we got a lot of use out of during the summer and early autumn. Makes us think of Mum alone, dieing alone in her bed and me forced to keep reality at arms length here. Knowing we didn't know what was going on and being so utterly powerless. Without even the strength to admit to ourself what we knew. Cowering in Satanic fucking fiction even though it doesn't scan. It was a not a nice summer.</div><div><br /></div><div>Cleared a shelf out today for xmas stuff and am cautiously confident that we can move on to the boxes under the bed next. It is such a relief when we can just through stuff that bothers us out. Knowing the literal and figurative are heavily linked. Maybe some local shopping tomorrow. Booze doesn't arrive until Friday and we needs clothes and dusters. Does depend on much tolerance for eye contact with whatever is out there is available. We can have our mocha at home after. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-24815055646505496532022-11-08T23:50:00.000+00:002022-11-08T23:50:28.067+00:00Due North<p> Dreams and mournings have triggered the first snip. benefits bonus. Gee. Thanks. Started on his and mine xmas. Lets not plan to spend everything so that half of December/January is spent utterly cashless. It's excruciating, every year act out on the desperation, the isolation, the confusion and fury in relatively minor ways, usually with food, booze, spending and telling ourself someone good might contact us even when we know it's not going to happen.</p><p> Hey maybe it won't matter and We can take the presents and the new candle holders with us to somewhere safer and nicer or maybe even home. Waking up feeling just as squished but with a much better view and a little practical support and no terrifying neighbors. Wouldn't it really mean something if there was one last good Winter Fest in Britain. With Junior and armed forces cooking and gaming me and face timing with peoples all over by a log fire. Somewhere big enough, private enough and set somewhere beautiful. There must be something, leading to somewhere specific maybe but not necessarily that me and our mothers wangled for now. For until We can go home. So We could almost wish We could stay for a while. Hey maybe it would snow loads to..</p><p>Hotels in Norway at Christmas can be perfectly lovely to though. We keep looping back to 'We are not safe here, it's always been extremely dangerous and unpleasant being here why aren't We somewhere anywhere else? This is very very bad.'</p><p>It's going to take the world a little bit the catch up, mother no longer being tortured and terrified I'll muck up her exit plan. No reason for any contact with anyone from the British Royal household ever again unless they find a suitable lawyer and are about to obey the law and hand over a nuts amount of property, land, cash, jewels, etc., and it's all British and Stirling so I wouldn't be sending anyone out to possibly die or worse for it. Not what we want back from them the most. Eighties submarine diaries, anything written to us by my mother, her sisters or grandmothers would be a much higher priority. The kind of stuff that will always burn to have had ripped out of your hands. Stuff that's only value is what it means to us so they go to series lengths to take and keep.</p><p>Legacy functioning 110%. Always onward out there anyway but now? :-D.. Okay lets make some kind of effort to expand on that. Are We a big girl or are We not? The stuff that kills everything that it is particularly active in Summer in Britain and they like to time visits elsewhere to when they can that stops us leaving the building is no longer a thing. The stuff that when I'm hanging out with friends or family or whatever and We have to remind ourself to get everyone in doors now, very quickly. And isn't some conventional fucking RAF or allied weapon but they definitely are working with it sometimes or more likely something was working them both. And if they had easy access to tech like that We all would be long gone. So We are saying all that is gone and can't reach Earth even if We missed something? And We are still here because We are exhausted and haven't remember our banks bloody phone numbers or anything else useful partly because We have no confidence in our ability to predict what that would trigger. Stupid PTSD.</p><p>Friends Traveling faster than my brain can cope with. Actual images of and words about things that happened pretty much as they appeared to happen seeping slowly into peoples consciousnesses with the threat of it all being taken from them the second they step outside. It's awesome. If it's real and I don't have the external images, words and files so it's okay that I'm skeptical. </p><p>Tooth extracted weeks ago. Plenty local. No jaw infection. It's fucking out.</p><p>It's not really possible for it to sink in. Still too much immediate day to day stuff is exactly the fucking same. No fucking commiserations though. It's hard going. With the flashes of Northern lights, no light pollution, sandwiched between British soldiers, American agents, Italian brothers, time with my mother, Jess, James and the toothpaste spit and slight molds growing in and around the bathroom sink. Quick job the sink that is, might manage it tomorrow. It seems to be settling into Marshall's photo from when he was little being up in the Armory and Jess maybe not being but probably not making it back alone. And Toby of course can go up now to. </p><p> Not going out at all really but the eye contact is fucking nasty. But maybe it's just back to not pretending otherwise. News media freeze out continues. Comfortable with it now. Miss some of them but glad to see the areas of my brain returning and it's not forever and ever. </p><p>They had too much back then for us to ever figure out some middle road in regards to myself and living conditions. Kept trying and tried hard. Got no where. Still doubt they can adapt to what they have now they are built to fake it until something makes it real again for them. And how can I in this flesh after everything be involved in any way with negotiating them even if a miracle happened and they were capable of approaching anything without the abusive attitudes and behaviors of slavers beyond the reach of everyone and everything else.</p><p>Somebody needs to figure out if we are organised enough to move myself and Junior. If We are sufficiently prepared for the worst and emotionally capable of withstanding the best. Our 'nordic' xmas stuff in our Nordic Overlook. Think We would probably need to be there to figure out who we would want there if they could. Maybe mostly just the two of us would be best to begin with anyway. A cat or two. </p><p>We would always go to Russian if she needed us and if we wouldn't just be making things worse because of all the attacks.</p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-25168989182939973992022-10-12T20:20:00.001+01:002022-10-12T20:20:58.462+01:00Just inside the Artic Circle<p> First real base, home on Earth. It was pointed to on maps over and over. Because we could and did forget and end up crying cold and alone somewhere to tired to figure out who to do next, too scared to remember anything good.</p><p>With the British I just wish the heart break was over or at least lessoned. Loads bloody know what the King and his sons and their associates are and what they have done and what they will continue to do. You know she swore he wasn't her's and of course she was bloody right. It's irrelevant anyway because they're all just war criminals. The imposters torture, enslave and plan the deaths of the 'real' bloodline it's the British Way, an ancient sadistic cult. I loved her she loved me and both of us were both treated relentlessly horrific by vast swaves of British institutions and society and vast sums of money was and is being made from it in the UK and beyond.</p><p>None of us can hide behind her or Phillip anymore though. There is regicide. Mass attacks on own people and military personnel. Child torture and human experiments. PTSD. And Navies.</p><p>And America can't hide behind evil far away forces forcing them to do totally evil things and have taken total control of their power structures and no one can do a thing about. Twin zillion Heroshimas machines deeply interconnected yet very far away from each other dismantled. Always so much more. Always so many victims. Not being lulled to sleep by engine thrubub or drinking wine and eating Chinese food with anyone yet though. Not looking out over the coasts and tree lines and watching very Northern Skies. Out of the rain. Must be reduced to a drizzle but that means the humanoids will be getting turned up. Yuck.</p><p>We really longed for domestication. Real time away from the giant eyeball with the forget me stick. Every second that palpably fades a degree further. Head's all full of strike patterns and how We won't to have to even attempt to slow it all down enough so the dumb humans can see. Or how to make it look like it wasn't us. I don't know how much there is out there to back them up. I also know when I'm awake enough to class myself as fit for service and if I'm not exactly there yet We are very close. And must of course be active especially sleep working. Flying through system after ship after installation checking notifying on to the next like we used to. People getting used to us being around again. Us getting used to not associating people with danger and terror again. Not just creeping about in the background of myself so much either.</p><p>So what's happin next year then?</p><p>They will turn off the surveillance for an attack they don't have any of the resources for and then won't be able to turn it back on again.</p><p>Don't think I did that good a job cutting my own hair today. It's been a while. It's annoying me much less but I know We have done much better jobs. Frozen. Chicken kiev and chips, loads of tomato sauce. Skint though.</p><p>tthhrubbubb</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-3504519375906257562022-08-23T17:06:00.000+01:002022-08-23T17:06:12.970+01:00August<p> Been a lot better the last few weeks, decent weather in August is seriously appreciated when your June is July is spent in dissociated terror, meaning eating was so difficult, growing shut down, couldn't leave the house so badly We used newspaper and pritstick for cigerette papers. Fucking grim working so hard on the garden just to watch it all turn to weeds when the prime growing season arrives. No showed the NHS Junior's in Newcastle and phone calls we asked for online but then couldn't answer. Just Nope. Came off the antidepressants don't want to be on them if there isn't any one checking to see if they are helping or hurting. </p><p>Put off the flat viewing to. Would have reluctantly accepted it last week, next week but apparently October now. It's not good letting her into our home. We did what We do, hope people are distancing themselves from abuse rings even if they were cutters/blood drinkers as kids and still causing us grief in Dundee and probably later but later was Fife so fuck knows. She didn't just repeat bullshit from the neighbors though she talked about and for Royals to.</p><p>'She's not my mother.'</p><p>'How do you know?'</p><p>'Science.'</p><p>Another time it was Harry, not sure if she said 'Prince' but I think so. She said she had talked to him I said I was sorry for that but repeated a request she didn't give us messages from abusers. She mentioned a daughter in earshot of dissociated as fuck with live programming Junior, We just looked at her and said We didn't catch that and was there anything else she needed to see. Out and about with guns, soldiers, agents and corpses all over she was active, unable to call us 'Rosa' everything but. Got all bolshie when someone told her the old lady downstairs who gave Junior and I the heavily dosed scones that would of been lethal to anyone but us had been threatened. Bitch killed my fancy multi colour sage and boasted about to all the neighbors and the son/son in law still fucks with our front door. We were at our worst the last time. Inferior demented scumbags. They lied to our face the first time, the door sticks so it's not going to open accidently.</p><p>Been remembering that walk, arm in arm with the child abuser in chief. Talking about how pretty some areas around here are. We believe it may of been for the last fucking time. No more puking our guts up after time spent with the much loved queen. We dreamed about not going back the other night. But there was always short convos after occasions like that, sometimes with people in genuine shock sometimes faked. the best We get is continued abuse from locals and national/international efforts to maintain the staus quo stay mostly at a distance. We were even more wired and filmed than usual. She brought up the hospital marriage I think, We said Turtullio had been annihilated decades ago and was gay anyway and that I also wonder what all the signing was about. She said We would be leaving here and when We said nothing in response and she asked for a comment We said our wishes were never relevant, she agreed. There was brief talk about Biden and Trumps and I said it made no difference. </p><p>' Yes We made sure of that.'.</p><p>I've been having talks with that thing for forty years We really can't be arsed remembering all the specifics. She still talks like We believe We are some normal person with normal female with patriarchal determined wants and needs, it's ridiculous and highly counter factual. I am built for war and not from round here.</p><p>Not long after it was Charles and royal security dudes in a shinny big black royal car out the front here, making out like it's all Liz some rich dudes and everyone else loves me and are all against how me and mine are treated. The driver was one we thought We were close to for while when young, in-between breeding and training the aristocratic youth in truth and self defense. Once he signed up for Royal security it was it was utterly over but they still use him as a weapon, groomer it's maybe more about fucking with him than it is us but it's not like they can understand anything, particularly when it comes to self care, human emotions and relationships.</p><p>No doubt there would still be calls all the time from Royals, royal supporters, actors, music industry, politicians and all kinds of rich, skint and middle class tools from all over the world all being fucking horrible triggering, threatening Junior ect. We should appreciate the silence more, we have to leave the house for our regular dose of irrational or child fucker hate. It's amazing We still expect and hope better of people. We are proud of it.</p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-20522762985906885282022-06-30T13:59:00.000+01:002022-06-30T13:59:00.690+01:00Last day in June<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQNcPnJ8hQki_UERtVJcJTZAgrMXLbglNHDt0hKIjm1fmytZt3JyeWZudCIIVOsBacPX86dRwof_9JoaRVfDVwl95xHmjU2DGDRTKJKLNURZJ5TtyGk5jmUx-rfzOsZ4tIocHymgJ3IBQf9nzhMomyyCrZ0t2ZfTUHgyLqGJ2C_AHddt6-siRePdkQEg/s3088/IMG_3534.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2320" data-original-width="3088" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQNcPnJ8hQki_UERtVJcJTZAgrMXLbglNHDt0hKIjm1fmytZt3JyeWZudCIIVOsBacPX86dRwof_9JoaRVfDVwl95xHmjU2DGDRTKJKLNURZJ5TtyGk5jmUx-rfzOsZ4tIocHymgJ3IBQf9nzhMomyyCrZ0t2ZfTUHgyLqGJ2C_AHddt6-siRePdkQEg/w320-h240/IMG_3534.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><p><br /></p>We look more and more like her everyday. But maybe its a mental thing. We see MLK in Junior beats seeing his rapist “cant you take all that stuff of her” male paternal DNA contributor. We never see them in him but We wonder about his hyper mobility in the joints, more incest in the Trumps than the Brit royals.. yikes.<p></p><p><br /> Programmed Putin gives NATO their fucking fascist war, Mr Biden sends a squadron of airborne brain damage machines. Just like We said they would in 1988, 9/11, Roe vs Wade, war and a bunch of horrific Satanic AF plans for me and Junior that have 0 chance of actually happening.</p><p> “I just want a peaceful life Mr Biden.”</p><p>“Thats not possible.”</p><p>After we hang up the phone rings again and it’s Merrick Garland. 19fucking88. Logiebank, Glenprosen. DD8 4SA.</p><p>Kevin McKidd still alive, unforgivable by itself he’s not a royal or a trump or a BBC employee or a current politician, judge or Rupert Murdoch.. Think the centralised surveillance system in the Pentagon is down though and We got all that was ours out of there so We wont stop anyone that wants to take it out this time. Have at her.</p><p>No fucking weed. :(</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-42880374024831197412022-06-18T11:25:00.000+01:002022-06-18T11:25:22.727+01:00Waiting to be brain damaged<p> How many times have We been hit from the downstairs flat? Twice? Twice a year? How often they hitting Junior? How often have We been told 'never again'? Is there equipment there right now? Who could We trust to tell us that? The cracked concrete has been pressure washed again. As you do. If We could We would search the flat but We would much prefer to live somewhere safer rather than wait around to have our memory and sense of self annihilated. What's gonna trigger it this time. Something here? Garden photos? Some thing happening somewhere else? What there almost definitely wont be any curled up in a weeping ball with Junior while Tutrullo gets it on with whatever fascist sex worker he fancies. Because I am still not up for pretending slavery, extreme surveillance and consensual sex can mix. Think We are less at risk from other Trump et als. whoop. 'less risk'. Royal family? fuck knows. Me and junior are here without obvious support of any kind and the UK is still a monarchy so usual extreme constant risk levels there. And all the industries are still massive and industrial.</p><p>We tweeted pics of DNA results. Back in Dundee? Shit will get shut down for that. Truth getting out is only thing that slows is down. It's brief of course but it's important people know they don't care about keep everything hidden as they are about keeping things going. Of course if you know and your a position of power and you think we are 'safe' where we are then none of the grooming is going to work because We know you know. That makes us feel a bit safer. Just not from tech of course. Probably more at risk because of it and our lost tolerance for pretending the grooming and the promises of home, healthcare, education are reaching their mark.</p><p>I really hope We put something in place to be triggered by the next attack. I hope it's fucking massive and no I dont understand why We can't preempt it. Words like 'proportional' are utterly meaningless.</p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-82796881008849653202022-06-17T22:24:00.003+01:002022-06-17T22:24:48.751+01:00<p> Its is after 10 so less than two hours until the marriage is annulled as far as our mangled brain can tell. He’s buddies with men of dangerously low self esteem, actual fucking proud boys (please may we be wrong) so me and Junior were never real concerns. More team slaver than slaves. More crimes against humanity and myself by the U.S We really wish they would quit it.</p><p>Still terrified about Junior’s schooling and healthcare. Very weepy and sickened. </p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-19273606458571253272022-06-16T14:42:00.001+01:002022-06-16T14:42:50.793+01:00Goddam Solstice Approachith<p> Still over the overdraft. Bastards. Working on grocery delivery though. Big one. Summer xmas.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoqm6G70G1Jpq0WyjwOzVBaT7XeQy-dIBoHNH-uozU9zP6s36S9VI0eFJLMThZuVF5Fuywn0LVppBerXOHcv3scV6QMy_usGkk98QI2IdJCPcZDE67-62S6P_wUetaZ8d-VHfOD4G_zCqFkRTz-fEbsy2oeX_Lc_aU22cymnOaVRjy823Peu6BJ1D42A/s4032/IMG_3516.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoqm6G70G1Jpq0WyjwOzVBaT7XeQy-dIBoHNH-uozU9zP6s36S9VI0eFJLMThZuVF5Fuywn0LVppBerXOHcv3scV6QMy_usGkk98QI2IdJCPcZDE67-62S6P_wUetaZ8d-VHfOD4G_zCqFkRTz-fEbsy2oeX_Lc_aU22cymnOaVRjy823Peu6BJ1D42A/s320/IMG_3516.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmLWWP_YsteoK5gvJ5vTI0yPnZXi-3oq6CycPRDhk05EVxyckC3OBbMdMqtZYAHIsx5B_X-U_vyHKvg0Rt2WWxI_XbnP765PXaBAvVehZz5qaARgQc6BXUws36YYXOKs-YIrqF73A-O3red8NOoXyrgq_PxRl2EmiMhUc9BJk-wFB5iBPZRQ2TZRrNqg/s4032/IMG_3515.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmLWWP_YsteoK5gvJ5vTI0yPnZXi-3oq6CycPRDhk05EVxyckC3OBbMdMqtZYAHIsx5B_X-U_vyHKvg0Rt2WWxI_XbnP765PXaBAvVehZz5qaARgQc6BXUws36YYXOKs-YIrqF73A-O3red8NOoXyrgq_PxRl2EmiMhUc9BJk-wFB5iBPZRQ2TZRrNqg/s320/IMG_3515.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi54riCY7P4afr5tat9ubUZTC_X1s233Wo1wyd1PJAEVtBvs50ypWGxReaFDG6m1seX2BRAoyGBs1ruke3INtHrUKYWUu9ZfUb_5tpU4GA9LJ9CAjOnEjW5h4PckzKaW2sEEJYDNfzmqrlX-4SA_ejynNFjqvudJ00KXaHwCEc0xh3j2hZlr9MC5M2zxw/s4032/IMG_3511.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi54riCY7P4afr5tat9ubUZTC_X1s233Wo1wyd1PJAEVtBvs50ypWGxReaFDG6m1seX2BRAoyGBs1ruke3INtHrUKYWUu9ZfUb_5tpU4GA9LJ9CAjOnEjW5h4PckzKaW2sEEJYDNfzmqrlX-4SA_ejynNFjqvudJ00KXaHwCEc0xh3j2hZlr9MC5M2zxw/s320/IMG_3511.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNpguOjn_NZtEZvjiMVAOLIyzbh7XsqsTB2-BaoAeOy8VJe0PfHzhCmufBm4qhIoBW7ZQThTKD9_KJDWrXznrC7U8xdjMVO7mo3fvG1cxLLFnjjig-9YAjtM4J2iRUrhfylSrzGPmnZgaGuCxNwczTDW5t-afeXMZoRg0e1j_bMKGCxJL_etslU6jPIg/s4032/IMG_3514.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNpguOjn_NZtEZvjiMVAOLIyzbh7XsqsTB2-BaoAeOy8VJe0PfHzhCmufBm4qhIoBW7ZQThTKD9_KJDWrXznrC7U8xdjMVO7mo3fvG1cxLLFnjjig-9YAjtM4J2iRUrhfylSrzGPmnZgaGuCxNwczTDW5t-afeXMZoRg0e1j_bMKGCxJL_etslU6jPIg/s320/IMG_3514.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmT0JyOFVJv7srnLSQQktLEvxIYqUiT6fvItizyD8VsrEf2xfw5k4UpBxAiT10Ds2GRighnGFVp1mu3ZjPb1bwLtbMxgUJ5MHcQGY3gWeNDMPofTg3Qx3WZcZ0NVg6BZxsaFVUoL7mhQE7TH2MEDhZwV9uFL_hSbsaulSEzymeIhRa7RHAO5BrcVhlBQ/s4032/IMG_3508.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmT0JyOFVJv7srnLSQQktLEvxIYqUiT6fvItizyD8VsrEf2xfw5k4UpBxAiT10Ds2GRighnGFVp1mu3ZjPb1bwLtbMxgUJ5MHcQGY3gWeNDMPofTg3Qx3WZcZ0NVg6BZxsaFVUoL7mhQE7TH2MEDhZwV9uFL_hSbsaulSEzymeIhRa7RHAO5BrcVhlBQ/s320/IMG_3508.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-63956163832835757342022-06-15T13:52:00.001+01:002022-06-15T13:52:16.476+01:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxsBeSzckuEj12swJAcFr-S15V8Ge6zREglquAwdXiru_lMTMcaGVoWZJKJ9aJQUwxQDVxezYu4zBLol1UVPK2g1wzyRrLc1D6ykF2AfuFUMEbu4z7U_W9uCNfAn22rOHm7ZZMMjurPbrebYbszBGR6ArNiFMvnlZb6zYlp96vhUphqExCKAygidkHLw/s4032/IMG_3502.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxsBeSzckuEj12swJAcFr-S15V8Ge6zREglquAwdXiru_lMTMcaGVoWZJKJ9aJQUwxQDVxezYu4zBLol1UVPK2g1wzyRrLc1D6ykF2AfuFUMEbu4z7U_W9uCNfAn22rOHm7ZZMMjurPbrebYbszBGR6ArNiFMvnlZb6zYlp96vhUphqExCKAygidkHLw/s320/IMG_3502.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7j_fDNDnQxRyTBtOgz9Dbs4FKMJnO6waRVYJn9JcvT7HkVgutrM0e-yaiSg8G7Tz8ITGMgGATLakQPPtza4GJdE84L8eRa1YDNUooyDEiA9mzLK11gaFDo7LQJw5rvxrnZ6oEHuE06W1uFzrCyfoLYxovthUnYN4--RBiqq3WnCJ_EzkEXtd_wy5e7w/s4032/IMG_3496.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7j_fDNDnQxRyTBtOgz9Dbs4FKMJnO6waRVYJn9JcvT7HkVgutrM0e-yaiSg8G7Tz8ITGMgGATLakQPPtza4GJdE84L8eRa1YDNUooyDEiA9mzLK11gaFDo7LQJw5rvxrnZ6oEHuE06W1uFzrCyfoLYxovthUnYN4--RBiqq3WnCJ_EzkEXtd_wy5e7w/s320/IMG_3496.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93EWw1bNsrtoUUA7TV9lH5w_qD0Nk9wvFSecobAUn7_Y4RkXu3_TLm9NkoUsC2Fx1ZjKHS8eSeXhGU_gtrdH55xS1A93bbNdkqukLThbixCvdnFX5lAJTxERoWzViwj1CdTWiOFipxOHrSBAZZhS5Ay_z3UQ4wZg8_vCkF3Vgq3_NpjaB30sR-Jgeiw/s4032/IMG_3495.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93EWw1bNsrtoUUA7TV9lH5w_qD0Nk9wvFSecobAUn7_Y4RkXu3_TLm9NkoUsC2Fx1ZjKHS8eSeXhGU_gtrdH55xS1A93bbNdkqukLThbixCvdnFX5lAJTxERoWzViwj1CdTWiOFipxOHrSBAZZhS5Ay_z3UQ4wZg8_vCkF3Vgq3_NpjaB30sR-Jgeiw/s320/IMG_3495.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /> Damn. We are out of skins. There is pence around enough for rizlas but its horrid going to the shop for one tiny little thing. Maybe the eon money will be in later… way too busy out there now anyway. No showing hospital appointments. Fucking terrified. His cold is better but had issues with the digestive thing and its really upsetting we cant just go to hospital appointments. Cant think about next week. Cant think if any of the French stuff is real. Pretty sure the husband is. <p></p><p>Ate the dream beans yesterday. It was a few weeks ago We dreamed a really vivid image of the tin of beans in the cupboard open. No extra sugar. No extra salt. There was a swimming pool one to We knew it would feel like We were still under water after diving but wouldn’t be. We started talking and were right. Our head was above water. </p><p>This stinks. We should never of been in the UK. Thieving Brits. Where’s my subs at? </p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-33510256843669371082022-06-14T18:12:00.004+01:002022-06-14T18:27:36.983+01:00Monday<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigZ-XbLNGHH-q944ShtCNPRhcucESeX8l6G6mqw7vVP5HdrEpI-7CqIzTZBhCV-_qXGFITVbiWa3gGUaEL8O0tRl2dAaT7QPYqcoOKzmMtCaQoWNyMLQdhfYYUy5D386QKw7Ngh1jaBhOW5ay3rGJWubfpkaoXDigq6oCEPHWNDyB6Bul847tdAaOqGw/s4032/IMG_3469.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigZ-XbLNGHH-q944ShtCNPRhcucESeX8l6G6mqw7vVP5HdrEpI-7CqIzTZBhCV-_qXGFITVbiWa3gGUaEL8O0tRl2dAaT7QPYqcoOKzmMtCaQoWNyMLQdhfYYUy5D386QKw7Ngh1jaBhOW5ay3rGJWubfpkaoXDigq6oCEPHWNDyB6Bul847tdAaOqGw/s320/IMG_3469.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQZO-fCeGzu6jvOiYcFkdBLekgXA_vJ4-HhTha3c50LDq-eq5aRgD7V7ZuWBzKiuKAZAoe7TG-dAcj93RUS17OCIX_xT7Y8Upsx2cZu4E9S-HCcm6w3-Vmp7TPT3yMZnAUZ1WU_x0hVFQh_8j8Ys1f-Us6BUX-IGpjlyafPqHe-63oNhllgCnf0Dcwg/s4032/IMG_3472.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQZO-fCeGzu6jvOiYcFkdBLekgXA_vJ4-HhTha3c50LDq-eq5aRgD7V7ZuWBzKiuKAZAoe7TG-dAcj93RUS17OCIX_xT7Y8Upsx2cZu4E9S-HCcm6w3-Vmp7TPT3yMZnAUZ1WU_x0hVFQh_8j8Ys1f-Us6BUX-IGpjlyafPqHe-63oNhllgCnf0Dcwg/s320/IMG_3472.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW7GakCH0BVvJzK9QA856QUqeLK9fWfGvaNgc8aaYQcQtC2Q8oP3gNghfOD2scblYmlQzueCccftxx_lt4ibp_uZbEkVT_xuSt--xLmUnKcD835OMdHag5b40ZdMZl1cnWtsjurMp9T7u5TjUln_lN8z178vdQyuxEBBLzn-MxASv2jHJn_kNBKQG0Mg/s4032/IMG_3470.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW7GakCH0BVvJzK9QA856QUqeLK9fWfGvaNgc8aaYQcQtC2Q8oP3gNghfOD2scblYmlQzueCccftxx_lt4ibp_uZbEkVT_xuSt--xLmUnKcD835OMdHag5b40ZdMZl1cnWtsjurMp9T7u5TjUln_lN8z178vdQyuxEBBLzn-MxASv2jHJn_kNBKQG0Mg/s320/IMG_3470.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRzXXdyL6F2yQ6o2B5KNjzF3KNtIpB7deZqg2mJb7YDt1xF-K1q2BASv7qWSJ7fxJK7kTuJVq1YPRIbhzw3A2OHoPCK-fXNPR44mwMsMNxizkpOHerUTThL-6NmSYOaWllRX_Qyx3IcqJIfsDtBba0Qs_8_H3GtZ99wBuECLJC4PAe42wfuCh2WG95PQ/s4032/IMG_3471.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRzXXdyL6F2yQ6o2B5KNjzF3KNtIpB7deZqg2mJb7YDt1xF-K1q2BASv7qWSJ7fxJK7kTuJVq1YPRIbhzw3A2OHoPCK-fXNPR44mwMsMNxizkpOHerUTThL-6NmSYOaWllRX_Qyx3IcqJIfsDtBba0Qs_8_H3GtZ99wBuECLJC4PAe42wfuCh2WG95PQ/s320/IMG_3471.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipZVZQyVr1VmPU8NSPGRLeHE5OoTSAOxpGTCpl1A-_Zf3v7HoTiNFLhBYoK5qOvHoUokG5Qj1Drb-9JnKxGm5vebJWvi_GXNBlRKVSfI_8bBB8zvk8yFQIyR98FZ_bSr-7BLibAEke_k4Z-c5yty9YzU4UrnQX4LEaOiO_38VJQjy9qWTMoKg-_a9hbA/s4032/IMG_3480.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipZVZQyVr1VmPU8NSPGRLeHE5OoTSAOxpGTCpl1A-_Zf3v7HoTiNFLhBYoK5qOvHoUokG5Qj1Drb-9JnKxGm5vebJWvi_GXNBlRKVSfI_8bBB8zvk8yFQIyR98FZ_bSr-7BLibAEke_k4Z-c5yty9YzU4UrnQX4LEaOiO_38VJQjy9qWTMoKg-_a9hbA/s320/IMG_3480.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKtfNtPuN4zKVpHghrwgEOH6O9NeNunFsGNRQk6EIGl1RoexnOSmgyt5loD2vpb3UdNYVzvTlS9AxsfeUc2HfZplDOK3rv-R_aPchqP0jgCUJ1lvGJ8NCBk6HvhaPHYbZUi3wAqqp0Cf1BUeB36G_0nO6Tt-CsSqOoDNRQYUKtFE0IlTwoy5ALc0yz1g/s4032/IMG_3484.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKtfNtPuN4zKVpHghrwgEOH6O9NeNunFsGNRQk6EIGl1RoexnOSmgyt5loD2vpb3UdNYVzvTlS9AxsfeUc2HfZplDOK3rv-R_aPchqP0jgCUJ1lvGJ8NCBk6HvhaPHYbZUi3wAqqp0Cf1BUeB36G_0nO6Tt-CsSqOoDNRQYUKtFE0IlTwoy5ALc0yz1g/s320/IMG_3484.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div>R.T.By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-11593776373301463222022-06-12T16:36:00.002+01:002022-06-12T16:38:22.468+01:00Still Tuturro<p> We're not eating nothing. Sent Junior out with the last few quid to get milk and spend the rest on himself without properly telling him to buy food so he bought sweeties and pringles. Predictable. Tuesday We get the 20 on Tuesday the usual on Friday and maybe the cash back from the electric before then. It's on its way anyway. We are defrosting chicken but are not confident We will be able to deal.</p><p>Thinking a lot about the Stratheden hospital marriage quite an impressive turning of a negative into a positive. Our anniversary must be just passed or coming up right? 6.. The hand pain from all that signing and all that fighting. We're not fully going there remembering the last last time you had to leave us and we had to let you go without us. Months. For real.</p><p>Couldn't not cut the grass and do a little weeding I know We're not taking on enough calories to be burning much but it looks so cute We couldn't not. Dude's been complaining about mild cold symptoms and he always get's especially cuddly when he has mild cold symptoms and what can I do? Refuse to hug him? There isn't enough space for it to matter anyway..</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT7No_8HVVu4yaVQ3fRuL8QN4OjLQVN0KHHtK8VQ2sN6hOeHTLdVII2kqMGxMyhuSR8cIUropjZAYZAEFiDucGpmnj26wy1_2HGlU0IjGbkmHokr66SCY4INw-t6KZjUz3jJBv8CgQ4SHS4x9BY_g_2PKYqnXk2rNHJ1t9pImAFMjiwwf2-noH0gTcnw/s4032/IMG_3431.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT7No_8HVVu4yaVQ3fRuL8QN4OjLQVN0KHHtK8VQ2sN6hOeHTLdVII2kqMGxMyhuSR8cIUropjZAYZAEFiDucGpmnj26wy1_2HGlU0IjGbkmHokr66SCY4INw-t6KZjUz3jJBv8CgQ4SHS4x9BY_g_2PKYqnXk2rNHJ1t9pImAFMjiwwf2-noH0gTcnw/w400-h300/IMG_3431.HEIC" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjjVxgWaxLh5sJmPiXQSnIhwg8M7B2zjM9HV9UQY7yq5km-6gzDyZ1pqcQs4PObKv7C0vI03SrzaOsalqKw9LhUL0P9AQNGIED8_Rm8xlK7KPw8MbC6ezYujOuxwJRAdyiRVw-6hV3F2nRdASVTVxRz58bKBtLYH1AgdK4Kpph84-oaX5tCL_1sOomxg/s4032/IMG_3446.HEIC" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjjVxgWaxLh5sJmPiXQSnIhwg8M7B2zjM9HV9UQY7yq5km-6gzDyZ1pqcQs4PObKv7C0vI03SrzaOsalqKw9LhUL0P9AQNGIED8_Rm8xlK7KPw8MbC6ezYujOuxwJRAdyiRVw-6hV3F2nRdASVTVxRz58bKBtLYH1AgdK4Kpph84-oaX5tCL_1sOomxg/w400-h300/IMG_3446.HEIC" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqI-b_8LqwAyAPBte_JA2rxPjvVJRjqCJjnQuoonpECwKffY68Dgk44fCSsdpMbNZHqEngGil7188DYhpp6yakDye2_qSSue23Md5uEHidX2E45VNAt9Md4ZuZdOEMui3paxHeP-ULEM2q8E1HKcyKQcNRFWM2bzEynEJDxBW1nNuoqGRGUk4j_n5Lpw/s4032/IMG_3455.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqI-b_8LqwAyAPBte_JA2rxPjvVJRjqCJjnQuoonpECwKffY68Dgk44fCSsdpMbNZHqEngGil7188DYhpp6yakDye2_qSSue23Md5uEHidX2E45VNAt9Md4ZuZdOEMui3paxHeP-ULEM2q8E1HKcyKQcNRFWM2bzEynEJDxBW1nNuoqGRGUk4j_n5Lpw/w640-h480/IMG_3455.HEIC" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEbA8e288N_NUlWhqN1wnbhg9qabpt89-QM3cR2s7-5v8epUFN0TKtsjaynY_05AIz_DfpXPHiMgPFNcqoBKyPGF-PZh7PM4NGh3859jHc1FRhox_3T8ATyNJoHd9mYF8nlZ6NrzP40HrGRk41pZVjYCb6wOnkMVDwhBSJ-mBIc5D0z0IDeZrJ5Ny-Ug/s2385/IMG_3452.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2308" data-original-width="2385" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEbA8e288N_NUlWhqN1wnbhg9qabpt89-QM3cR2s7-5v8epUFN0TKtsjaynY_05AIz_DfpXPHiMgPFNcqoBKyPGF-PZh7PM4NGh3859jHc1FRhox_3T8ATyNJoHd9mYF8nlZ6NrzP40HrGRk41pZVjYCb6wOnkMVDwhBSJ-mBIc5D0z0IDeZrJ5Ny-Ug/s320/IMG_3452.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipf8FvGH6licUSyr_6iOD4TGI1Sy2J42nMPlrRZr1HCO9bhTelbxKETqFj-eRKzA2-YPemKSKKhTmC_BVWAfJ2y9YCR6MHnYTxkXQJ5jBW9-b40Q1qiHYB8HfHOna6KukyvCyRDIsdW6ai81lVnTJR6uDJRGsiiKzNPpESY-_8Q_5F5eLn9zD9pvepAQ/s4032/IMG_3453.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipf8FvGH6licUSyr_6iOD4TGI1Sy2J42nMPlrRZr1HCO9bhTelbxKETqFj-eRKzA2-YPemKSKKhTmC_BVWAfJ2y9YCR6MHnYTxkXQJ5jBW9-b40Q1qiHYB8HfHOna6KukyvCyRDIsdW6ai81lVnTJR6uDJRGsiiKzNPpESY-_8Q_5F5eLn9zD9pvepAQ/w400-h300/IMG_3453.HEIC" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEBTFRiF_K_W_lD5vN1IpFHNkRVPSUxZN4-O9jJFBRiDUZn2MZnZlYhm47HdlVp4svk5SqijzbxRSVZrxdD-E5FwpJT508Le-415jCMyhALReSPZM6K8VOSnookrwTyD3tLzDlu51SF9ZwrhYrK_DiwOWxDGkkiVCegssEEdptsFUH1Z1dtAA_p6qMbw/s4032/IMG_3450.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEBTFRiF_K_W_lD5vN1IpFHNkRVPSUxZN4-O9jJFBRiDUZn2MZnZlYhm47HdlVp4svk5SqijzbxRSVZrxdD-E5FwpJT508Le-415jCMyhALReSPZM6K8VOSnookrwTyD3tLzDlu51SF9ZwrhYrK_DiwOWxDGkkiVCegssEEdptsFUH1Z1dtAA_p6qMbw/s320/IMG_3450.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-12601733158635767222022-06-11T14:24:00.000+01:002022-06-11T14:24:12.662+01:00Saturday <p> Rain is forecast and was worried it wouldn't happened but there's spots all over the window, big grey clouds increasingly taking over the lighter patches. Put fox gloves, crazy daisies, mini sunflowers and delphiniums in the back empty corner might of done more but for the wind that's annoying strong. Never helps our jumpiness when its starts moaning or battering things around. Some of them are a bit small and neglected but everything looked happier this morning so most will probably make it. Especially if they get a good soaking today, ousband Turturro. Which is helps a lot with the British Royals but complicates things further the U.S and the British public in particular. Be no ousbandness if passports are non negotiable. </p><p><br /></p><p>Yeah We feel a little ill. Took these this morning and pulled back a few weeds from things that are keepers. Those baby nettles though hiding amongst the harmless greenery. Little mother fuckers. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIjL2PdWN5VN7IenepFrhoTVkzohEAJng4yqfp1yuq4X1nytV27yFSe244dUA7qZhY2_mGL7_GA3QBpuGgGwkdptt0q7qqUgdyS13Ziascj7GE5reMj_h5rjIlyB5x8UE4o1LhNd94pkdiBOch7MCfY0lgOEFmcrWz8DISPrGT4_4qPQRvCV9gv1fXEw/s4032/IMG_3424.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIjL2PdWN5VN7IenepFrhoTVkzohEAJng4yqfp1yuq4X1nytV27yFSe244dUA7qZhY2_mGL7_GA3QBpuGgGwkdptt0q7qqUgdyS13Ziascj7GE5reMj_h5rjIlyB5x8UE4o1LhNd94pkdiBOch7MCfY0lgOEFmcrWz8DISPrGT4_4qPQRvCV9gv1fXEw/w640-h480/IMG_3424.HEIC" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjnlVcOj_XrR9ifkoosDVaJEfTnxyl6uSwr7oAqtIGlqwEaxcTInxppyBr6p2zr7g8n4Dg5sTOHlLOerJkLXzWkTC9ZYVPR7gyMi-pLFR7ZkVGINozMuARnSVcFTH-pANLtljO4wOevT5DU8UD_Hk-RczQaGE5uNZms4xOhfTTlDg-JQivYEFz1G6jQ/s4032/IMG_3422.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjnlVcOj_XrR9ifkoosDVaJEfTnxyl6uSwr7oAqtIGlqwEaxcTInxppyBr6p2zr7g8n4Dg5sTOHlLOerJkLXzWkTC9ZYVPR7gyMi-pLFR7ZkVGINozMuARnSVcFTH-pANLtljO4wOevT5DU8UD_Hk-RczQaGE5uNZms4xOhfTTlDg-JQivYEFz1G6jQ/w400-h300/IMG_3422.HEIC" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUMDCwDsjUMmFK2A1WI_4J1Htcl3vgXQxXjxqIL8O0-XISE4qg97yJ7wiwIU5w_qjK_L7Q2G0aPnB0tbYDAlMOF2JOFIH810Brd9FPnYm0xfECthikLEFET_gDq93Ge5RzNm8yFGAUQhPGUggt0FkLnYBe08RWyiYLjhaBVl_S19H6JuHmhiYKlFTwg/s4032/IMG_3425.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUMDCwDsjUMmFK2A1WI_4J1Htcl3vgXQxXjxqIL8O0-XISE4qg97yJ7wiwIU5w_qjK_L7Q2G0aPnB0tbYDAlMOF2JOFIH810Brd9FPnYm0xfECthikLEFET_gDq93Ge5RzNm8yFGAUQhPGUggt0FkLnYBe08RWyiYLjhaBVl_S19H6JuHmhiYKlFTwg/s320/IMG_3425.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFRrI_9Jk-NrMhRh78v6jI95NJQaU7ePv8njObcbrvRIfBvYzC12D2CIZ0h2r35RyY_koTEtIT95af1TMvtD9wKGi05uiBIOjv3FEM18dLL942BbuyC3qsuAfLcoz_oibdlxXnzqKYiEUDglx6mi_FkoK-EEjZTafjurrDiiVGvV2PS6HIw1ENETe9hQ/s4032/IMG_3427.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFRrI_9Jk-NrMhRh78v6jI95NJQaU7ePv8njObcbrvRIfBvYzC12D2CIZ0h2r35RyY_koTEtIT95af1TMvtD9wKGi05uiBIOjv3FEM18dLL942BbuyC3qsuAfLcoz_oibdlxXnzqKYiEUDglx6mi_FkoK-EEjZTafjurrDiiVGvV2PS6HIw1ENETe9hQ/w400-h300/IMG_3427.HEIC" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>There is NHS appointments coming up and as they are not urgent, figuring out some kind of insole for his heals and whatever is going on with his digestion sometimes doesn't cause a lot of pain or discomfort or effect his health. And it's fucking terrifying. It's terrifying whilst dissociated. It's terrifying when We have a pretty good idea about all that's going on and We are using up all our terror tolerance on buying food, school and gardening. And breathing of course.</p><p>He's been playing a lot of Pikmin 2 and narrating it which is cool. So it would make mine and Juniors name Turturro as well then.</p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825160414702178864.post-80163859312739386662022-06-10T14:39:00.003+01:002022-06-10T14:39:51.767+01:00Worst Case<p> I was pregnant a lot during the early nineties. Then less. Lindsey's op was part of that. When We couldn't conceive to him they had to bring in a second worse nightmare. We have hinted and skirted around it here before. If this is a thing then it's not a secret. We could hardly ever say but did in Italy repeatedly. Some people figured it out, some have always known. We have named him, written statements, consented to filmed statements, eased up on who got Junior's DNA, gave hints on who to compare it with. If it's been within our power to release any video or audio relating to the facts of it if any should exist We will have shared it beyond the relevant authorities who had all the relevant information on what occurred before it happened. It's fucking horrible Lindsey Buckingham and others are in it including British cops and locals and We are clearly not a consenting participant. </p><p>People know. People have proof. People have have time. I have had time.</p><p>We don't have any ongoing dialogue with the current head of state either or any desires for that to change in regards to either of them. Which is a shame.</p><p>I'm pretty much writing this from the bed in Newburgh, Fife.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>By Daffodilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14491003863887580336noreply@blogger.com