Proof of Life
Pain has been reminding me how mental it used to drive us. It has been pretty bad the few weeks, inactivity probably a factor. Freaking out a little about what we have written because of course all past, present and future misery is my fault for existing, being hurt and not figuring out how to get out and stay out. If we say/or write something we are giving slavers and abusers ammunition, reprogramming ourself with fiction and keeping people who care about us away but if we don't write we are keeping ourself utterly dissociated and keeping people who care about us away. Currently its a demand we made for proof of life (or death) in the first half of 2021 is the sliver of memory we don't know what to do with. It came with an 'or else' that we were giving to the callers from other parties. There was maybe words about this being the longest time without contact and that it will end rather than being briefly broken by the contact that often accompanied violence. To talk