Fear
Really nasty dream last night, biggest sis said the jumper I was wearing had been a present from her to me and she wanted it back, she took it off me. I protested back my mum was on her side. Lots of trying to save babies from my mum, pointless phone calls to the police and trying to convince myself that because wee man is four hes safe now. When I first came round, first I had to figure out where I was and after that I felt like there is no fucking way I'm leaving him with them this weekend. At the moment I'm hoping its like the big talking boulders in the Labyrinth telling them to turn back, at their worst when your own the right track. Still scared though. But I need it, I need to move forward but I can't bare the thought of anything happening to him. I don't know if I should go, I know I probably will go though, I'm hard wired to be brave whenever possible. He's so adorable how can I even think of doing anything that might put him in danger.. Saw ...