..dear reader..

 Didn't put this years sticker on the garden waste bin. Got Junior to do it.  Third year, third sticker. Gives us a smile. Third year of a garden reader. More realistic and less manic planning, spending and working. Not looking forward to the extra shinny edge on the loneliness we get when we make something beautiful and there is no one around to share it with. It's not utterly no one we do make such a difference that even he will notice and say something and there is the neighbors who say things sometimes that help us see the difference we have made and work done. Three years is not long enough for us to not feel awkward around neighbors but sometimes we get good at accepting how awkward we feel around people.   Did some nettleing. Weather has been cold but not a cloud in the sky so anywhere sheltered gets warm. Got our proper gloves, spade and it was pleasing work to turn the earth stand on the root mass and lift out gnarly pale balls of roots, notice how we had what we neede

 Over a month in. No fags. Various other sources of nicotine, gum, inhalator, big lozenges that are supposed to be sucked but we keep crunching, patches, wine, junk food. Been a few weeks since we used the patches and the inhalator. Probably around three weeks. Exactly three weeks even. As well as the NRT we have used Grey's Autonomy and Animal Crossing. Seriously crazy hours of both. Ran out of Gray's. Relationship with Animal Crossing is ongoing. Long strange and charming hours in a very safe place. Although some of the accessories in the taylors are a bit ew as well as funny. We knew an earlier version when nothing could be appreciated for long and have considered for months what a new version of Animal Crossing, here and now could mean. We hid the game when it arrived it's not his type of thing and we wanted to start it alone. It doesn't feel too self obessed to acknowledge that the moving on from the fags is a big fucking deal on many fucking levels and that having