..dear reader..

Citraliprams at 40, there is a load of light outside and inside my flat, my weed works and I have a 4 year old and a wii fit.  It's all pretty ace.  There's also loads of people unhappy about the corruption in the banks, government, press and police too.  Its barely scratching the surface of course but still the arrogance that people in power have is being challenged and their decisions scrutinised.  It makes me feel a bit more comfortable.  It feels a very long time since hope was watching the light grow above the hills or through my bedroom window wondering if daybreak would bring and end to that nights activities.  Wondering if it would be worth looking at then figuring out who my assailants were and if they were likely to leave at dawn or not.  Preparing for whatever was going to happen next could make a lot of difference but mistakes were disastrous.  I came round once, back to my flesh, my room, my life and found that ev...

I've wanted to write this essay this I first read Woman On The Edge Of Time in my midteens. Now it's due in 2 weeks I cant face it. I know I will get something together, but I can't see it doing well. I've struggled with too much with this course. It comes and goes so much, the will to study. Summer fever of course, the will be anywhere but here, inside, as usual. There's been no poems and little thought of them. Just napping, and some sighing. Happy with wee man, except for the 'they're going to take him away fear'. He said 'its a secret' a few times over the last few days when I've asked him about nursery. I get the feeling they have concerns, or rather they know the social worker does. There is one in particular who rarely smiles, she gives me horrid chills. There is always that knowledge, that if I knew something was going on, if I saw it in front of me. Talking about it would just make things worse because of the delusional ...