..dear reader..

 Are we actually going to manage the sunshine drinking over doing it triggered impulsive mania this year? Definitely managing it better, our baseline depression level is rising and I guess it shouldn't be taken for granted that that would just naturally happen. We can see it becoming more possible for us to start doing more things that will help to keep improving it and that is a nice feeling. We are just a little bit less desperately lost and confused in our dreams too. Getting back to a place where we still find ourselves somewhere without knowing how we get there or where to go next but we starting to retain a better sense of often we have found ourself lost and even some of the lessons from previous times and don't get as sick with anxiety. Lot of dreaming about the cats. We miss them. We are lonely. We feel bad for giving them away and bad for the times we couldn't care for them right. They were also sometimes  a real comfort to us at times when we felt inconsolable an