Romanov Forever

-

 There she was the poor horrific horrid thing the was a neighbour in Fife, bed on the other side of the wall to our own. Pregnant telling Us they were going to convince me her poor fetus was mine. They were about the same stage. I wasn't convinced much of that but they would definitely convince the kid and the heartbreak of them bringing him back again and again after having free reign to do whatever they liked to him the rest of the time was going to be effective. It was going to almost kill us. Special child, Romanov, different fucking species. Brain like mine growing next to a brain like hers. To be fed and clothed in an environment where child rape and torture is not just tolerated it's compulsory.

He did so well for so long. We always do.

Got some Guinness and beef Space Raiders. Might not be able to get Space Raiders soon. What's happening with the Norwegian Satanists? States backing down yet? How's Russia? 

Mental health wise, how is the kid I was carrying, probably? Can he drive? If I order xmas tshirts how many do I order and in what sizes?  

Think it's time to let go of the tangles oversized knot of lights that have been around since Fife. There is no way they are not going to be triggering AF. There is some in the basket. Already ordered? Well there was a resin santa, sleigh reindeer, lights up thing that was reduced and might not be there if we wait. Stocking filler fidget toys, candles, yu-gi-oh, Splatoon 3, made  start on books, more in the list. L.A. Noire for myself cause it looks like something I might like maybe and We really need something to do sometimes. Jammies in the basket. Got Tesco tomorrow and week before UC so they and the tinsel and beads and whatever else is in there can wait.

They ran Us through this so many times. We thought they were trying to get me to say what we would do or tell them what was already decided. But really they were just trying to fuck up 2022 from any other year. So they could get a few more months. A few more whatever in the bank, every little bit more damage.

It. Is. Different. Now.















Popular posts from this blog

Watered and fed the Roses

-
Image
 We couldnt leave the flat this time last year. Couldn't even make it to the bins sometimes. Think I remember a post about the total dread experienced when May turned to June. Not so this year. Was a bit worried We would feel something close to that awfulness, that triggered terror on the day of the coronation that Tesco and the met office kindly told us about but nothing like it. Jesus those late last year posts acting like we were getting out fucking telling Junior we might be going home and 'twin'? wtf.   Unfortunately, ended up in the garden the same time as the downstairs horror story and knew she was going to say something there was no way she wasn't going to mention it. She asked if We watched it I said 'Nah' pointlessly hoping that would be the end of it. She started talking about how 'wonderful' it was and we stuck up for ourself and all that is decent everywhere by saying it's 'a bit ridiculous for a modern country'. She started som
Read more
-
 Any corner we found for peace, comfort over the decades they had you to destroy it for them. Any happy little, any doesn't give a fuck teen and you and yours were on the phone or at the door. All the fucking calls from your nearest and dearest. All fucking horrible. Calls to tell you your daughter's being abused and getting shit from you because of it become abusive calls from your daughter. Your wife under the impression she will get money from Mom you know because she needs it for basics like healthcare and education.. It's not what Mom wanted especially after she got the full brief on everything that had and was happening to us because of you so you probably have a shot at getting something. The conditions your first albums where produced in. Decade upon decade of horrific fucking crimes that We can't hold you responsible for because your clearly gone. It was still the 80s when the RAF started boasting about having my brother. Like We hadn't noticed. Like we did
Read more

How do you know Savile to?

-
Over the years he took over how I was treated by other groups.  Taking away any ritualism that wasn't completely abusive.  If they refused Savile turned against them, there was some mixed feelings at seeing men who considerable themselves untouchable being treated in the same way that they had treated me.  Savile wasn't too interested in discussing nuances of Satanic theory.  He had no time for any 'genuinely religious' Satanism, he explained to the leaders how to simplify things and then demonstrated on me and others.  Harm for the sake of it which was 'real' Satanism as far as I was concerned, all that bookishness and dead languages missed the point because it didn't cause enough harm.  Of course anything that went on that didn't directly hurt me was to be cherished and he took a lot of it away from. I looked forward to the time when Savile would introduced himself to and infiltrate the groups and bloodlines that were big on seeing Satanism as a for
Read more