..dear reader..

We were doing work on the naked truth - short story she called it.  Story asks the naked truth why she is crying, she says people keep inviting her in then kick her out again, Story says she needs to be dressed in order to be accepted, so her light doesn't blind them and so they have time to except her pain without being overcome (our telling, not the drama therapist's).  It used to bounce about the brain a lot as a child, very timely to come back to it now. That psych apparently mentioned, 'False Memory Syndrome' to my DID therapist.  Nice rigorous empirical approach then...  She has sent him some material.  I'm wary of these psych investigations that he's got lined up but I've already got the safe place and started the treatment for the disassociations and all the different parts so there is no desperate need to be begging NHS mental health services for help, takes the pressure off a bit.  Like abusers and dodgy police th...

I feel like I should write something.  Its not easy for me to engage in anything, probably because there isn't really such as thing as 'me', there is just programmed personalities, victim mentalities and a sense that sharing is essential if I'm ever to escape the constant depression and the belief that the truth is irrelevant.  Had an appointment with the psych today without the psychiatric nurse that openly scoffs at my disclouser of abuse by djs involved in child pornography.  When that same nurse walked into the room in refuge the first time, I was a bit sickened, nothing specific memory wise, just the knowledge that her face was very familiar.  I lived in this same town as a child for a little while, my parents went to Uni here so I'm not assuming anything, I can't when whoever knows her is saying nothing but I wasn't remotely surprised by her reactions. Anyway, pysch has referred me for an EEG (could be wrong initials there) and to some kind...