..dear reader..

... She talked about how she used to get singing lessons. I couldn't tell the difference between her vocal and the chart version on the CD. She said it was dubbed, something about a noise caused using microphones, or something. It was difficult for me. I did my best to encourage her, when she along to Tracy Chapman's 'Revolution' I could hear her voice was good. At home I was thinking about it all and started to wonder if her voice was being used to produce bootlegged tracks... Dancing and tears in dramatherapy. Little me and rabbit. Everyone has a Rabbit. Simpsons episodes on mind control cults and Marge as a glamour model. Usual genius. New Shrink soon. A little apprehension. Pub today. 1 and half pints of Guinness at two separate locations. Both went down like magic. Thinking about drama, thinking about moving forward.

How can you not get into music? How could I turn down any oppurtunity to defend my self? The police showed me a tape. It showed a bloke touching me and then me beating him. The bloke was missing. They thought I had agreed to it all. I didn't. What was I supposed to do? I forgive myself for being an agent in my own exploitation but this does not mean I accept that it will continue. I wish I could tell you about the music, some of it was beautiful and it was mine. I made it. I knew what all the levels and dials did. I didnt need to disassociate. I was always disassociated.