Showing posts from February, 2014


How do we create a voice from all this? Or an identity enough to give us some kind of vague direction..

Been coloring in a lot, its a beautiful book, lots of intricate flowers and trees, its lovely.  We usually manage to stay within the lines and don't get upset when when we don't.  A tiny snippet that replays often when we are colouring in still keep playing though.

       Don't you think sometimes there are not enough colours?

       I do now.

I know when something keeps coming back like that it must be lots of different parts its happening to.  We all ache for the lifestyle and the health she had so clearly in that moment at least. What did she feel was promised in that. Or maybe she just uses that moment as a way to identify herself.  She's only trying to say hang in there. We're here.  Don't shut me out just because I don't hurt in the same ways most of the rest of us do. We do do that.  Sometimes.  All we here her saying is that she already a part of…


Think I'm in danger of trolling Robert Green's blog. (again? Was there some shit with him last year..He mentions something about justice being served in the Roach case for no apparent reason which doesn't exactly inspire confidence..)  It's all the bullshit and 'fuck off survivors' comments.. and the tone of implied authority because the education, the career, the contacts and words conveys respectability and authority of someone who knows what there talking about and should be trusted.  The words of someone who isn't a victim but saw injustice and decided to challenge it and doesn't need any input from anyone else who was victimised along side whatever victim someone is fighting for to do it.  Nothing has changed.  There is so little sign that the people who say they are fighting to expose organised child abuse have any real insight beyond how it effected themselves and really aren't interested in getting actual accounts from actual survivors beca…

Scottish Police "Keeping Abusers Safe"
Below is an ohmygodImdrowninghere email from yesterday to my MP that we have cut and pasted in. Have also forwarded it Green's MP. Drummond, Paterson et al - I might be mostly amnesiac but we will always know everything.  RIP Hollie.

Writing to ask whether, as another abuser who told me they would get away with it gets away with it if you were given any kind of time frame as to if and when the police will be in touch.  Also to ask if you are aware of any other way to get my experiences of highly organised rings involved in violent abuse of children and adults taken seriously. 
Uniformed and non uniformed officers were involved in the networks from early memories of being raped and assaulted by a group of police uniformed men as their radios went in off in the background in the family home in Glenrothes during the early 80s, to years of being taken across Britain with Savile and others and overhearing conve…