January 27, 2017

yada yada

Yesterday once the first time this year we managed to put in an asda delivery. That means today we had steak chips gravy and red wine of course. Don't know what our issue is with ordering groceries so we don't need to go to the little shops here every fucking day is. Well there is the problems we have eating sometimes the difficulty in planning ahead and accepting that we that same shit that needed to be done today will need to be done tomorrow and feeling like I am better suited to other duties.. But other than that..

May giving it that her and Trump are going to bring back some kind of imperialistic golden age. Unpleasant. Saw a meme today showing a bunch of arms with camp registration number tattoos it was highlighting previous times people of specific ethnicities have been registered and demonised like immigrants and Muslims are now. We know this. We know the fictional emotive rhetoric and the long term plans for destroying and denying human rights behind it. We know its sliding from outward liberal values and backroom hate and war crimes to hopeless back and front room hate and war crimes. We know fascism uses the tolerance it claims to oppose to gain influence and then aims to destroy it to maintain positions of power, we know Trump is repugnant, abusive, fickle and easily played as long as his ego is stocked and that May and tories are usually just as bad.

 It's disgusting and terrifies us at every level but that isnt what we took from this meme. Some of the wrists had watches. It wasn't taken in a camp it was taken after and they were together supporting each other years and years later. It was the most hopeful and life affirming thing we have seen in days except for the development of our settlements in fall out 4. We have enough caps to be buying shipments of steel and wood and setting up big shops everywhere. Haven't been sleeping well. We did come off the olzapine that will be in a factor in that but as instead or as well as feeling unsafe as fuck because of the systems and people in power we are planning cafe lay outs. Would love to find more copies of "Picket Fences" have found three so far I think. Can make tonnes of paintings, patio furniture and just recently - statues!! :-)

January 24, 2017

virtual training

It's good to hear talk on mainstream tv about the need to understand authoritarian regimes better. Seeing Trump be so abusive towards the press making them point out all the blatant half assed bullshit has been kinda nice to.. It's hard to rise above the chillingness of it all even when you know it's intentional. I'd rather not hate "the press" but its hard not to when held down with the ridiculousness here in the UK. The trident stuff today.. ... sickening .. and maybe a step towards indy.. We have been very successfully hiding in fall out 4, where we have a girl friend, are building settlements, setting up traders and blasting nasties while not looking for our son much because that would probably mean the end of the game. Resident Evil out soon though so thats a relief.

It's January, our weed guy isnt responding forcing to consume headachy pollen but we aren't too bad. Still no word from no one. But an increased sense that we are out there searching for a way to help us. Still wading through, the fake, the real but pretend, the completely not real but still true, etc memories. I.D in our head the past few days. Not particularly helping. Not particularly not helping. Usual.

Tomorrow I have to clean a bit but then I can do some quests. Just turned on a machine that got rid of the mireluks from an island and need to build defences for a Railroad safe house..