..dear reader..

There has been some rain this week drenching the outside of my windows as watched TV under a blanket or was wrapped in cotton in bed in the dark.  The light has bee tremedous.  Something in its angle or nature that goes right through people and wakes something primitive and positive, something cosmic.  Alexander McColl Smith, watching the search for a lost girl.  Whats the point of dredging rivers if there is any chance the kid is still alive, shouldn't they be knocking on and kicking down doors, pressing the snouts On Monday I had an appointment with my GP.  Stronger painkillers prescribed, a brief discussion about the vaginal scan I put off because of pain and fear.  The flu jab, I mentioned pulling my medical records.  The records of a fictional character, the legal front to a life undocumentable.  Tuesday is dramatherapy day, every session getting more emotional.  Making body sculpts for the last week.  I place someone as m...

Just spent about half an hour re-arranging my pictures. Suddenly they seemed so prop like. Artificial. We will sort out a box of toys for the living room tomorrow and take the clothes drier in here. Stared at the 'Chocolat' print wondering if it has a safe place. I left it where it is. The mood has been breaking. I applied to college, cleaned the kitchen. Bought her a card, forgot the address but phoned to tell her.. I bought myself wine (Morrision's extra special), fair trade chocolates and received a very humble gift from the green goddess. Watched news. Syria. BBC News, reporter saying they were finding groups of women without any men, the women said they took them all way. An older man said he saw them round up males and spilt their throats. Pictures of bloody corpses, a man stumbling across mounds of dirt with a child shape wrapped in white cloth. I've been reading Peter Levine, just a little. I knew when I was younger that prolonged disocation o...