August 15, 2018

Primary Seven, Day One.

We got him to shower twice in three days, he's got a new term haircut, he wasn't late this morning, at least half of his new school clothes fit him, cooked him sausages for breakfast, he's in clean bedding & clean jammies and we played a fighting game on the Wii U with him for a bit. We are feeling not too bad.

"...Oh and my new teacher knows Grandad Bill!.."

Of course she does. And of course its appropriate for her to say so to him.

"...She's nice.."

".... .Well that's all that matters honey...."

After rain, sunshine and wind it turned into a still lovely evening and the logs arrived today so we had to. Been fairy gardening too. Not finished and up yet so no pics of that. Got lovely stuff but definitely for the final last last time from the "your into bad stuff, isnt that what that star means" lass over £5 "for petrol" on a £90 deal. We did not bad it was last October that we gave up the last time over her quickness to get abusive over small amounts of cash. We told her to take the fucking quarter back and she took her £5 for this time £5 for the last time and the £30 for the half q we had already broken into and left. Lovely girl. Love it here. Everything is so lovely.

Genuinely lovely weed though. Shame she is genuinely impossible to be in the same room as.

Gonna go buy shit for our hand made real dried flower fairy window box ideas.. Very cool ickle budget much glee project..

August 13, 2018

Wish I could show you all all the photos of our garden and the pride in our littles faces and then we could see the pride in yours. Wish we could see your faces as we told you how people talk to us. The Brits and the yanks are never going to give me anything that belongs to me especially our passport. They will never provide anything in writing to us to say why. Britannia rules, protect the slavery and maintain the hate it requires above all else. Its their system of values, their moral compass, the meaning behind everything.

Schools go back this week. We are glad we are not as exhausted and heartbroken as we were this time last year. Wish we could of had more fun and gone places with the lad though.

August 12, 2018

..simply because your near me..

We trying to take care of ourself because you all care about us and need us to but its difficult but not as difficult as it was when we couldn't remember any of you at all and couldn't access any sense of anyone ever genuinely caring about us. We will take our meds and eat food and wash as best we can and do as well as we can for the junior to and tell ourself this is not forever but every hour feels like forever and every day has been stolen from us and can't ever be given or taken back.

We did some fairy window painting and the other set of little ball lights came but we haven't put them up. Maybe tomorrow. Not waiting until there is weed money because even when the money gets in we will still have the supplier issues. Hash guy is out because he claims to know nothing about anything and absolutey knows nothing about fascism in Fife and me being bullshitted about or treated badly in any way. That leaves Ms thirty something that claims to not know the difference between an inverted pentagram and the star of David, thought it okay to ask us if we are into bad shit more than once and gets the same "no trying to get away from bad shit" answer every fucking time, makes assumptions and asks questions about Pablo's dad despite being repeatedly told he's the product of rape, demands petrol money for every trip regardless of how much we gave her the time before or how many other drops she is doing and expects to sit and chat as well as a hug on leaving...

We are here alone so can't not be dissociated to some degree and highly desensitised to hate, ignorance, bullshit and greed because thats all thats all that is left and could maybe shake our head and just pay up because the weed helps so much if it wasn't for the hug when she leaves. Its injury level insulting. Cold as fuck. I know we should just say we arent comfortable with that but after listening and attempting conversation for a little while we are fairly exhausted and just want her out the house. Will see how we fair when cash is in but if some payment for some work we have done should reasonably appear in our slave name, coz its the only bank account we can currently access (Fuck you all) right now we would rather use it to wipe our arse rather than hand it over to her for lovely stinky medicinal herb. Before we didn't mind giving her a fiver or a tenner sometimes for petrol but expecting that every time is just taking the piss. Buyers are paying for her weed through buying from her I don't think we should have to pay for her to run her car to.

Dentist leaflet came through the door and reminded us of the horrific verbal we got across the street and how big a role the medical professions play in the child abuse that is an essential aspect of the slave trade and the genocide. Also reminded us Pablo hasn't seen a dentist in years and would be good if we could just take him for a check up. Not sure if people know or understand our position with accessing medical attention or if it would make any impact on their ongoing role in supporting the isolation and inhumane treatedment of junior and I.

Not many folks on Earth get much healthcare though. It's too expensive..

August 10, 2018

more flowers from Cookie

Can't wait to get more wood. Getting colder now.

He's dead chuffed with coat we ordered for schools going back. Bonus.

Some after the rain shots..

Rosa Louisa Ann deMarco

Love from Cookie xxx

Rosa deMarco

August 08, 2018

Fairy Memorial Garden For All The Victims Of Humanicide So Trump, The EU, The British Monarchy, Brexit And Loads Of Other Really Bad Ideas Could Happen.

"But they are just glued on. They will never lead anywhere."

"They will." They said with so much warmth and complexity we knew they smiling at us. "It doesn't matter."  They countined and for a moment we felt we caught glimpes of their edges, their shapes before it was lost again in all the mess and fuzz. "It shows you have made rooms for us in you and those rooms will last and be part of you everywhere you go after leave that garden."

"Can you promise me I will leave that garden?"

Got more on the way; window boxes we can use the nail varnish on so they are different colours, couple more windows, the little ball lights are still a fiver and need it for the pink fence. The gorilla glue gel is working really well for the impatient fairy gardener.. More little lanterns that are also completely necessary will have to wait until next week.

..been looking at dolls house stuff. It needs a bar, with booze, water, snacks and the tiny bottles of glitter that are in the works, we could make shelves by glueing twigs together.. Getting too emotional about it right now and skint anyway as we ordered loads of giant man clothes for our baby boy..

Words we have recently had to say.  "No. Honey. This is a six pointed star. The one your talking about is five points.. And inverted.."

But we wouldn't be gardening and remembering much without her so hopefully she believed me. Or maybe it would be better for us if she didn't..?..

August 05, 2018

La Farfalla

Sat on the path just looking and feeling glad at all the prettiness and growth for a little while today, taking a break from antagonising our headaches by smoking too many fags. Sounded like the old guy is back next door. Hate hearing all their shitty scripted voices. We are not spending that much time outside anyway but we can still hear them if they are outside and we have the living room window open. Didn't distract us from Good Girls much though. We are not tempted by the thought of lighting the stove much without cannabis anyway. Kind of a shame but we need THCs and plenty booze or biggish gardening jobs to feel okay out there for long because of them. Its a shame too that we are still being held here without contacts or friends or family beyond the giant little man. Just because there is no one else to hug doesn't mean no one else wants to hug us or that it will always be the case..

There is many that didn't believe it was possible that we could do so much work and be left alone and hated, didn't believe that there would be zero offers as soon as we were in a position to say yes. Hope they are starting to see now how unbelievably horrible all the European and North American networks are and how much everyone just fucking lies all the fucking time and its not about money or their income or their safety but is about making sure we don't get any that we could spend on security, education, moving somewhere where are not surrounded by cold blooded genocidial fasc bots, foooood, fun, healthcare, travel or setting up anything that's positive and public. As long as I'm here like this they are not the bottom rung and that keeps their smug and comfortable subset triggered as well as all the hate programming of course. Fake life.

We do have butterflies though, had to hold Jess under our arm to take some of these. She doesn't like butterflies. Shame we couldn't give a fuck about how many moths she takes down but the farfalla! Noooo. Shameful bias.