December 29, 2017


Dreams were pretty awful but seconds after we woke the Asda guy was at the door with more booze and munchies and its been snowing Daddy.. So know we have spliff, boozy tea and a beautiful view we didn't have yesterday without having to go any where. Yesterday we started writing about how we've been remembering you last year, how you couldn't believe both me and my sister were still alive, how we feel so scared and overwhelmed whenever you say you want to look after us because we are scared that will never happen. But it was on this tablet because Laura's old computer charge cable has been tripped over so many times its not charging any more and we hadn't saved when the battery went without warning and we lost the whole thing. Hope you can remember anything you need from it from when we told you that would happened.. It kinda bugged we liked the post. The early benefits went in early and its been pretty good. Thinking about you and sis. Mostly you it seems to be easier this now to think of you than sis. The Scottish scenes that keep us down where always about "where is your sister?" And it was made pretty clear we weren't going to get much support in surviving it from anywhere.

Love you half Jewish Daddy. Hope you are OK and we can see you soon.

December 27, 2017


We're doing well.. Although we did forget again that Pabs  doesn't like gammon.. And its Friday the benefits go in of course not today or tomorrow which is a bummer cause wee have one nip of brandy left and not much milk and of course no crappy hash to help us manage the loneliness. Need to try and get a decent lump on Friday, another New Year with no one to hug but one ten year old who we were forced to carry and keep after making it impossible for me to keep every other child the forced us to have so the fascists and the capitalists can use him to manipulate us is kinda crappy.

Got on to him about his attitude a few times today. We found the first "actually mummy" kinda cute but that was years and years ago and the older he gets the more the way he speaks to me upsets and angers us. Getting him to do a little but here and there to help us but getting a kid whose routine involves bugger all chores to start doing some is work as well.

We can feel ourself searching for contact, scanning for signs of hope don't think we have found much yet as our mood is dropping. Think tomorrow will be tricky.  Hope we don't get too snappy with the lad, its not his fault he was made to be a weapon against his mums. Not much feels real but hate and slavery but we watched some movies with the lad and knew they would get to us. Big Hero Six and Home Alone. Hate it when we loose all outer skins to watching films with the lad. Our littles get quite distraught about Pabs  being brought up to remember and know nothing about who and what I am and the real nature of the entertainment industry and our relationship to it. The rest of us do our best to stay dissociated or mindful.

..Can we phone home yet without them tracing the call to destroy or enslave anything that loves us?.. I'm not sure we can remember how to from here. Its terrifying. We don't want to wait for an emergency or life in danger type situation to trigger reality over programming but after so many years here of being flatlined or having to pretend we have been flatlined we can't get in touch with our usness. Its so fucking cruel all this.

We do love having the house all decorated though and its so cool that so many Christmas songs make us smile and feel better despite everything.

December 26, 2017

..three no shows, too much fucking house and a cat that wont shut the fuck up..

Music keeps our mood up. Music and brandy. It wasn't too bad. Still wished we could stay in bed and smoke and people can in and hug us and keep kitchen clean for us. We always struggle with tiredness and overwhelmedness on xmas morning, well all mornings. It's a shame for the dude but he's older and more used to it. He was very excited to bring me the present he bought for us with cash we gave him. Bath bomb and a Rainbow Dash that can be coloured in. But best of all is a unicorn that lights up when you press it's hoof..

Steak, turkey crown, pastry clouds (used the cookie cutter. the cookies were a disaster..) roast yams, corn on the cob for the lad, creamed tatties, gravy of course. It was pretty fabulous. Did well with feasting. There's a good bit of meat to cook in freezer. We have the kitchen all nice its cool to cook in it and have sit down meals with the lad with candles and everything. It is better just us and its been the less stressful one with the lad by far. Still need hugs though. The brandy and tunes keep us warm despite that though.

We have swung back on the existence of "Jon Stewert" who isn't a US made social control bot. There was another one.. he listened to us and gave up on his US ID there was no other way to survive but then the only way for him to survive was for him to be switched back and pretty much loose everything he had learned in his years of being a non US human. We let these swings happen without too much resistance now. There isn't any plans that depend on me being in a particular place on those spectrums to work. We don't swing on a general perspective on what the American media is those. It's all a lot like the BBC. Or the horrific total hold that everything cold and ignorant has on US populations. So many years of having run versions of reality on myself and others that meant we could believe things that are complete fictions one second and then be grounded in nothing but real experience and truth the next. So tiring.

We fell asleep on the couch watching Its a Wonderful Life and got dreams pushing forward teenage parts that want nothing else but to be young and study hard and work hard. They are programmed to be never far because it breaks our heart to have and to have had such simple dreams but for them to be so horribly and completely annihilated. For fucks sake all we wanted was to just be and to see where that got us and everyone else.  It's a dream that was forced on us just to be denied. Where we were from we knew there was no "being yourself" especially if you are like me and especially if you are like me and here now. So fucking satanic. Giving people dreams then making sure the apparatus that makes all those dreams impossible is kept in tact. So Western. So heartless. So fucking typical.

Out of crappy hash and chocolate. Think new year early money goes in the day after tomorrow though so we get a decent lump of the shitey stuff then. It's better than nothing and maybe there will be the chance of something green and stinky and chocolate of various standards and prices will definitely be available in the shops.

Gonna do our best to keep mood up. It's more possible and real with the isolation but without people who freak us out. You never need a friend more than when you are in a house filled with people or even just a person who deny and hate everything you are. The lads total amnesia and ignorance but me, himself, reality in general triggers and upsets us less when it just comes from him and isn't coming from Niall and Johnstons as well. Still pisses us off. Just doesn't have us in tears like it used to. None of them fans of us playing and singing along to carols. It's shitty cleaning, cooking and prettying everything for abusive bastards as well. It's all for us and the lad this year though and hope so its been less exhausting and chore like.

Trying not to worry about the bairns up the road they are by far not the only ones without adults who give much of a fuck about anything who are probably having a misrable time. They would be impressed with all all cleaning and decorating.

Will do our best to keep it going and find ways to walk that line between hoping for contact and support and accepting it and not being too crushed when it doesn't appear. We love us and we would of found a way to get us out of here eventually and done whatever we needed to do to make sure it stuck and wouldn't get undone through keeping through the isolation, attacks and everything else which would of been the hardest bit because it would of meant committing our self to pre determinism after being and doing everything we can the rest of the time for the exact opposite and then having to keep fighting and living liked we hoped for something better. You can't be unpredictable when you are real but are surrounded by rigid unchangable systems. The systems are going to do what they do and there is a finite ways someone can respond to them, very finite when that person is being kept apart from anything and anyone that is outside those deterministic systems.

We have depressed ourself again.  Thinking of the food tomorrow without the expectation to get up early helps and there is a good bit of brandy left and some energy to play, hang out and get the lad to help us out with keeping the place nice. And smokeables the day after tomorrow and the knowledge that there is plenty of love out there and in here for us not to be left here forever and ever and ever even if everyday feels like it. Might use some of that goose fat for some roast potatoes tomorrow if we can arsed peeling potatoes there is xmas mash left anyway and its extremely delish and calourific. Y'all can stay where you are and do what your doing and don't bother coming in and knowing me better man! You don't deserve our xmas mash and definitly not our non Auntie Bessie roasters..

The Fat Man Has Left The Building

Merry Winterfest

Every pretty thing is a huge battle lost of course to. To be here buying this shit instead of weed of going places or being somewhere else where being ourself doesn't cause the issues it always has here. That's a few years now of treating winter blues with Amazon "shabby chic" "natural" "Nordic".. It's easy the appreciate without the threats or the work to avoid the threats that result from our self expression. Cradle to the grave. You will always be a slave."

We love it though. Don't we?
Will we make it through this year without some comment about not thinking we would be into it and wonder and be grateful for the splits in our soul that stop me from knowing if thats because we seem educated, cynical, or is some antis semitic shit.

When you have spent December losing battles against genocide it seem life affirming to make the absolute most out of ones spent in doors, with goreless walls, our ghost of Christmas past comes with sacks filled with chopped up remains of humans. So we have always done all we can for the present and the year we have and cash enough for treats and mood and mind enough prepare at least a little in earlier months. We've been washing windows and festoning. We have Christmas back from cleaning and wrapping presents. We think we have finally be able to make the most out of the prepayment for the benefits and a big asda delivery but we are nervous and do not want to speak to soon.. The little shop has enough to keep as going if its goes wrong. It's beautiful here.

future is out of our hands its in no ones hands the back of our brain will see us through whatever, we are not the Grincy fuckers here.

We've checked it a hundred times. The money goes in tomorrow and the big shop is delivered at night. We keep adding stuff and keeping an eye on whats available on our phone. Too excited to sleep last night. He gets most of his education from you tube so one of those really pretty dumb smart privildeged tubers has told him about Santa so we have been liberated buy that fake supremisist cunt as well. The fat man has left the building. Oh deck thee halls and make thee extra special merry. The fat bastard has left the building.

Were gonna get something in the sales after and have it sent to him from "Mrs C." We're playing carols. We put the new dark green tinsel thing up last night. It's got gold bows and boubles and its all fabulous. Don't know how many times we shifted the tumble dryier doing "it goes here" "nope.. there" thing.

Fridge freezer has been defrosted and cleaned.

We used left over sticky back plastic stuff on the minging cat bit and the bits where the vinyl is disinitgrating. Stuff we couldn't do or in some kids did do and then put back because we couldn't think like we were here now before. When shit was still so constant and ongoing. Before the final Dundee ops. Before the hospital surival plans. When all that nasty tech and faked forced on us relationshionships were still things we couldn't get out of.

Cleaned and christmasified his room to. Do like a festive house gutting. Shame it leaves us to knackered for much else though.

December 08, 2017

I'm a free bitch baby

It's hard to forget how far we have come. Sitting here, awakeish, in our own flesh listening to whatever we fancy on a half decent speaker, with a Anderson, Johnston and slave industry free Christmas at worst.. As far as we are aware the final veto to us leaving Earth from elsewhere has been lifted. Goddam impossible trying to get hippy unslaved life forms to understand how awful things are here and its a nightmare trying to get the truth to someone when they are in the same room but getting it real life which always far far away.. We've been dreaming about death cults and bits being cut out of peoples brains, thats an awful lot of truth for our dreams.

Remembering snippets of Pabs pregnancy to.. Fifers turned up to the house near Newburgh cause work that slavers expect wasn't getting done. Think the first thing one of them said was "What the fuck are you wearing?" But we were naked, all our clothes had been taken, the water turned off. We survived by killing one of the farmers cows but that was taken away from us to. We were covered in gore, a small white stripe across our belly where we had kept a protective arm over our pregnant belly as we fought endlessly. One of them commented on the stench. No one was taking away the corpses that were pilling up at the back of the house. We said we couldn't keep taking the tech out of them and some still had them. They said not to worry about that of course.

They showered us, soaked us, scrubbed us to get the gore of. And fed us while parts of us slept we hadn't been able to sleep for a long time and littles were terrified to eat because of something they had been told would happen if we did. We were not going to let them flat line the fetus and we were not up for dying either so on and on it went and anyone human who tired to help completely unprepared for what we were fighting and were taken out or just a liability so we made them leave. They would think it was safe to sleep, drink tap water, listen to music, or leave the house and stuff.. No fucking clue.

Think when things were bad but not that bad we overheard something saying that if we didn't die or if the baby wasn't flat lined we would stop Trump from becoming president and we knew that was our remaining access to anything removed and we would be fighting non stop until it got in the way of some other Satanic crap and that would take a long time.. There was and is of course always been all kinds of hell trying to take out the first born. But we sent Gabe away for training and let them rig the super bomb to go if he came back to Earth. It would of killed him seeing how we were treated seeing how much international violence and forces was being directed at one pregnant woman and how many "people who knew" us were involved and how horrific they all really were/are. Dont know if he has forgiven me for that completely, my sis cause we did the same to her ages ago. We got a few mins last year and he said he has and we could say 21st 2017 hun you can come home, you can get me and Pabs out, you can do whatever the hell you like..

If stuff like that had gotten out vetos would of been removed long before now but no one thinks, no one talks, no one hopes and no one dreams down here so nothing ever got anywhere.

We couldn't believe it when we saw the lines of decommised corpses last year, no Johnstons or Andersons but the things they made to attend school with us, people who knew Margo, weegies, scum from Aberdeen University. Think we wept when someone showed us the current students lining the Spittal arms raised but fists closed and shouting "Fail Satan", Aberdeen uni has always been horrific this was the first time ever that it wasn't in its entire history.. They sang for us to. It was wonderful. The smile on Lee when he turned up with the second truck to return the carrion to Aberdeen, was pretty wonderful. As was feeling Kerry respond down in Glasgow when Erin approach a corpse that we left a little present for her in and blew her to pieces. Dan we knew would be tricky because of what they had done to auntie Beth and because they were trained by the same Fascists that took down my mom. We caught up with him though and decapitated the fucker. Knowing we lived on a planet that no longer contained Alan Morrison or Paul Sweeny and his faked little bro was pretty sweet to. Especially as it meant gorgeous younger Sweeney could step out the bushes and still be all lovely. He says he can't look at us without remembering us beating the shit out of U2s pedo photographer when wee. The way he looked at us for that has never left us either.

But then we have the year and half since then and we know everyone was flat lined to keep them down for the rest of 16 and 2017, including us. We were swallowing anti psychotics (psychotics) for six months for six months. Think we might be coming out of that now though huh? We had no choice but to reprogram our self and flat line our self which is not something you can do if you don't have a shit tonne of education, experience and support from places and life forms far far away from this filth.

For fuck sake though. We need a hug from a non dependent, from someone who will brush their teeth and put rubbish in the bin without us nagging at them to do it.

December 07, 2017


Feeling, thinking that there only is one solution here and that is to give the fascists bots what they want and bye bye Earth. Increasingly praying for it to. Any teeny tiny hope left was lost when Anton took flat line programming to turn up here for this Christmas as a son from the rings and attempt to fuck us. The new littles that were made by flat linning us could take no more heart break and the rest of us agree. There is no love and if there is no love there is no humanity and if there is no humanity the slavery and the genocide and the femicide across all nation states will never end. Everyday there biodiversity of all kinds is lost here while it increases and is enriched elsewhere. Everyday the human gene pool and human potential is disseminated and destroyed and there is nothing left to fight it. We can not and will not fight for creatures that refuse to even recognise reality and our existance and the endless exhausting efforts to survive and improve conditions down here.

We are soo ready to see this poisoned blue planet split in two and feel all our chattels disappear forever. There will be no regrets. We loved, we fought, we protected, we worked, we healed and in return were left with nothing and surrounded by blind murderous hate of non human humanoids who have lost the capacity to care for their own young or take any action no matter how small to defend their own lives.

You will feel it if you can not read this. The need to be surrounded by random messy emotional intelligent life forms instead of people shaped objects with scripted and utterly controlled lives and deaths when alternatives have been presented repeatedly and support offered from a variety of sources.  "We need you to destroy Earth to justify our hate" we got out of something once the perfect Satanic cycle. But we needed to make sure that all the evil that thought it could escape the end and go and enslave out there again could not do so and we feel confident that is done. The programmers, the Fascists, the misogynists, the rapists, the thieves, the unfixable slaves, the supremacists of all kinds and haters of normal and real life will go down with their ship.

Mummy was all ready gone when they put us in the Glen, they forced me to be her. Love and care started to bring her back though as it will but we knew there was no hope of help and only had one question for her. We held onto her as tightly as we could when the convulsions started because we promised we would never let her go. We weren't sure Idina Jnr should of been there but she insisted. It was impossible for it to not all come back when Laura Joplin had the same convulsions as we held her hand while she lay on our couch in Fintry. Nothing and no one could ever deserve the murder they planned for her.

We want to talk about our noise to and don't know why, probs because something made out like we should because it "will make a difference".. sure.. We remember lying wasted with Amy Winehouse and she asked what was the deal with me and stroking her nose. Things were carnage so we not only had our own phone but we knew we did as well and we showed her a photo of our twin and told her some Fascist wedgie scum kicked it in not long after we were dumped in the Glen when we were about two years old saying we wouldn't look so Jewish now. He was one of the many many creatures we were looking forward to bumping into in Glasgow and was kind of dispirited that the locals took over and kicked him to death after we took him down. No worries though there was plenty more.

It was impossible to buy any of the bullshit from anyone ever saying they hated us for killing our mom especially as it usually came from genocidal rapists. Just wow.. They lost a source of income of power though but those things would always hate us anyway because we are everything they are designed to hate.

Graham told us we would get a present for Pabs today from "Grandad Bill" so the programming continues and will do so until this beautiful slaver haven goes. It's a damn shame. But we know we got what we need out there, dogs, whales, weed, decent folks and of course, peafowl. I love you to.

December 04, 2017

Still no hugs..Still no contact..

Seeing the cash in the bank made me feel the same as we do when we can hear his voice over the xbox when he's playing with Pabs. We bought a bottle of naf du paf, drank half of it and watched a movie with the lad then told him he couldn't be friends with Niall anymore. He cried but said rehearsed sounding lines about supporting me in anyway he could. We played a board game then we drank then rest of the wine and danced in our bedroom alone to Abba, remembering.

As with so many things it would be preferable to have had support with this in the here and now but this planet refuses to work like that so we got what we could for it when we could. No physical attacks have happened over yet and we are past the worst of the fear. Winterfest minus another slaver bot, couldn't bare the thought of another and him seeing us in our heart and star of David. Not so terrified of sleeping at night anymore but our habits are quite noctural now anyway and we did what we had to do. Send a text to an horrific abuser saying thanks but no thanks your no good for our mental health and blocked him on the xbox.

Half hope and half sure that if and when him and/or his horror story family make plans to head in this direction with unspeakable intentions for me and Pabs they will be stopped. Same goes for all the rape bots across the rest of the planet.

"Amanda Campbell" left us a voice mail message, we listened to the start of it but a few sentences in there was no sorry and she started talking about "that night" and that was enough for us. We sent a text saying we were glad she was doing better but we were not and will text her when we are feeling better. A bit later we saw her when we were walking back from the shop,

"Not speaking?" it says in that sarky voice, we stopped and turned back a bit and acted like we hadn't seen her and answered,

"Oh hiya. How's you."

"Oh fine. Walking along smoking a spliff."

Our feat had us turned and heading home, the gloating sickens us not just cause she's gloating about the weed, we know how they programmed her she's gloating about having weed and because they got her to slaughter one of our baby girls because we rescued hers and got her someone safe. Baby girls had/have no chance here.

As discussed way back in Partick in 2004 with one of her "suppliers" we told him we would send a text saying Amanda triggers us (like she kept saying on the night of the last cut) we were pretty much done trying to buy weed from Scots but if he wanted to pretend he was human there is 60 sitting here. He texted back, "at work don't finish til 3" and that's it. He was under the impression because he had been told buy some fascist undead slaver scum that we are desperate enough to keep trying. We are desperate but not that desperate especially since as far as we remember so far he gave us that last scar.

We tried Rab another one of the tools she gave us the number for, he said he would get for us after work then never texted and never showed. We tried Danny to, whose bairn our operations protected during all the hospital carnage but he wasn't interested either.

We worked damn hard to get drugs out of the hands of the fasc but we got as far as we did with the antisemitic anti human medical profession, absolutely fucking no where.

Having Anderson based programming and terror fade is pretty sweet though but my god it will be sweeter when we have folks we care and respect us and our work and weed..

And fabulous and amazing as our fairy princess castle if it exists is it's just another carrot to keep our head down and stop us from figuring out how to get the fuck out of here pre or post the 21st. It's just a thing and we don't want things we need family.

November 11, 2017

Haters Gonna Hate

Still unhugged. Of course. :-(

Went to the shop with the star showing though. Glad the shop is nearby makes the gob gauntlet over quickly. In the shop one of the confirmed Satanists from the school who works in the shop to turned the corner of an isle with her eyes at the height of our pendant and never lifted them. We are angry about the school and their "would be terrible if you lost Pablo to" comments and that just what the surface parts remember but not in terror like we were last week. They wouldn't of programmed us to wear a Star of David but they will of planned to keep there promise of what they would do if we did she we leaked that we would be wearing one now. We are feeling pretty good and we don't when they're plans are going as planned. We wouldn't be wearing it if they had a real chance of taking out me or dude. Felt great outside with it proudly showing.

Head full of blood rivers, Glen Prosen, Aberdeen, St Andrews, London, Liverpool, Edinburgh. USA.. everywhere. Etc.. Once they look out the Jews and anyone not white or not programmed they turn on the women who have helped with the genocide. Sometimes they would scream for our help.. After helping to take out everyone who could hear us they begged us to save them.. We fucking told them that's was the plan. That was always the plan but they felt safer following instructions and staying dissociated. There is no way to help people who can not or will not care for or think for themselves.

Got a lovely q during the week. He said he would be round with more but he hasn't and its done. Damn. We are facing weedlessness.. Beats being cut over though. Not that we agreed to be cut for weed, that's just the satanic crap that is made up. They had Petey and tech and they don't have him or much tech anymore and we don't have survive the endless murder attempts in hospital plans to keep away from them a any cost.

We would rather know specifics about how me and the lad are gonna survive but if we could have them so would they. Really disgusted with the state of all this but we did the numbers and know all the scripts and knew this is exactly what would happen. We feel we know ourself better though and even when we don't we do a good job of defending ourself we just can't remember after. Wish we lived somewhere that wasn't built on hate ignorance and slavery though and was populated with people who hadn't killed our people and promised me and the boy we would be next repeatedly.

21st century Earth though what can we do but keep breathing and keep remembering and keep feeling proud.

November 09, 2017

"river of blood" Kirkton of Skene, unknown to present day

We have fucking done it. We slept. In Scotland. Wearing a Star of David. And as far as we can tell and we believe we are where we are experiencing we are, we are still here it seems..

Not got much else to say at this point but fucking had to say that. Fucking hell. Millions of years of anti semitism and slavery and genocide and doesn't have the power to stop us from ordering, receiving and wearing a piece of Made in China jewelry. That is broken Satanism, very broken Satanism and it doesn't work if it's broken. It's binary AF of course.

Having issues relating to "River of blood" Kirkton of Skene, 1980s to now issues.. Everything needed something and needed to know it would work and saw more than they needed to cause things are fucked up and lost it all to the other side. They were saying in the 1990s that they were doing stuff because it was gonna be in the blog. This blog. Multi level bullshit of course. What isn't fiction is the genocide and the rivers of blood. And science that proves there has been a river of blood here and if they have happened regularly and repeatedly or once or twice she can help us out with that to.

Hail Science.

November 08, 2017

Fuck You Pedozano

Well there it is. Beautiful isn't it?

We have really slept since it arrived. Couldn't send dude of out to school.  Sick at the thought of it. Keeping thinking about how some man spat into his face when we were near the bus station in Dundee once. He was three/four and we were having an okay time out as far as he was concerned until that happened. The way he cried.

You come back fucking covered just for taking a kid to the park sometimes. Would happen to Laura with Nathan to. Fucking disgusting. You cant call them animals.

No fucking way we did even half those scars there reader. There's been loads of systems over it but one of the most persistant involves people who have access to us, like the Johnstons, Niall, any fake "social" friends there has been, drug dealers, top industry slavers, teachers and GPs I think as well.

We took out the things that gave the Satanists there power beyond basic inhumanity and brutality.  "Family" were primed and sent into the flat to basicaly stop us from remembering it happened and telling anyone else. There not human. There are hard wired to hate me and everything I love because things that made them did so because they had seen that we would be the only thing ever to stop them and kept making more and more horror to stop me, to stop nature from returning, to mammals from mammaing and stop random shit from happening ever which is called not being alive.

We wanted to find somewhere they wouldn't be causing hell and destroying all signs of hope and light and water but nothing outside of quarantine was entertaining any such notions so total destruction it was going to have to be.

My God. When we could go round to Grahams and said we had with out genocide stuff and then have somewhere and someone else to fall to pieces with was so necessary. I managed to turn the anti hug machine off for a wee while! So heartbreaking watching the efforts, the rape, the murder the disgustingness involved in turning it back on. Marcon drugged up and played up by pure Brit Satanic scum. So horrific. Fuck you France we will never forgive you for still ringing loud like all the agonies and horribleness and pointless brutality. That and thank god pablo isn't here.

Think what eventually saved everyone's life was what evil that ever reigns in NASA finally realising that with the Scots in particular they really were dealing with something that really don't there to be anything left at all and that would mean nothing for NASA to fuck with, destroy, exploit, bullshit with, misunderstand, torture, ignore and misinterpret.

We had to do something with the knowing when the specific anti hug trigger had been defused because we knew that chances of anyone else being of any bloody use when we have spent decades initially frozen out of human contact and comfort quickly is nada. Everything need something. And we knew that after all the industry rings, nation states and everything horrific out there back then had had there fill we would be back where we started. With the Scots, in the UK. Business as usual except this time they wouldn't have all that backing and support. It would be me, them and whatever ancient horror they snaffled away all this time.

It wasn't even a battle. Everything they have is like literally allergenic to light, voilenty allergic to light and the brighter the light the more violently and instantaneously whatever it was was dripping down the walls and Bill and co would not be happy.

So fucking terrified. Of course we are. We are in a position to know how much danger, horror and genocide we have survived. That's fucking terrifying. We needed something that would break our fear of the Scots and that this pendant is it but no we are not intending on wearing it and are glad its winter where its gonna be covered anyway. Can't hatch the fucking spitting though. Some bloke did it up at the shops the other day. Not at me but in front of me and near the kid he had with him and we knew fine what he was fucking saying, young lads do it all the fucking time all over. Sick antisemtic man and monster made half breeds.

We hadn't even opened the amazon box at that point.

Yep. Still really need a hug. Without the extreme concerns of being attacked by mappers who make sure me and whoever it is never hug again.

Fuck it. Christmas coming. Gotta honor winterfest its the only thing I have out here and the northern lights are not as far away as they were a week ago.

November 05, 2017

"We will focus on the hugs first."

We wept. Then wept some more. Amongst all the lies and efforts to set up our death and worst from all the calls we coming into Fintry here are real people telling me their prioritised the emotional torture and manipulation. It's done. We can be hugged by people. Hugged by people who have not swore oaths to hate and hurt us forever, our poor sister does not have to be us anymore she can figure out who she is and what she wants without having to be our only representative. More than all that after all these decades we can hug our sister. We can hug our Mum/s. We can hug our Dad/s and anyone else without the mile plus long multi bomb going off.. Holy fucking shit.

Still can't have sex but how the hell can you make love if you can't hug? Impossible. And if you have only been able to hug people since last night you are not going to go out and fuck tomorrow. The height and depths triggers are still active as is the American soil one but we told them not to prioritize that. If the Americans want it priotised they can get in touch.

It took a while for them to map out me and Pabs enough for them to be confident it wouldn't be triggered by me hugging him. There was months and months of starring at him feeling his hunger and not being able to touch him. The American crew who did the mapping were taking out as soon as they got back to the states even though the people who did it knew there was little chance of them surviving. Little chance is not no chance and some of us certain they were evacuated and protected. We hope so. We needed someone to survive. We needed to feel there was life and hope for Earth even if it was false.

We struggled a bit with it in the past, the times when the computer was turned of or gone and still no one hugged us. Maybe they were just scared. A dude wasn't having it. He was adimant that if we could be hugged and "people" still wouldn't it was because they were dead. He was quite convincing but then he did the science and the sums behind his argument and we could see no flaws, it was spot on. God bless him.

Star of David hasn't been dispatched yet. It is November though and we know from ordering xmas shit that it can take a while. We are kinda confident that its wont get their hands on it and do horrible things to it before it reaches our hands. We did tell Amazon it would be happening and we would be holding them responsible for it even after if and when it gets in the hands of the British postal service which is NHS level rancid (you'll get no communication but us). We apoligiesed for that and explained a bit about the British postal service to the gathered. Some tool started the whole "how/why can this be" shit but his collegues shut him down. I wasn't in a place where we had to pretend people didn't know. Like the conversation in the car with Nick Park and his mate after meeting with Liz to see the Minions movie, no mason will ever know or understand what masons are like I do. I've seen the proof of endless Shoah in the UK, how it predates the UK and they keep the evidence of it all to torture people like me. We have wondered how there came to be some many Jews in Britain millions of years ago but then remembered, man made, quarantine and knew we had come as far as we could while Earth authorities and institutions are still completely constructed to continue the pogrom.

The gender division.. the enslavement of the female.. (breeding the dumbest with the dumbest for millions of years and breeding the smartest with the smartest and keeping them very separate) it's been going on so long that we are kinda a different species.. It's not just because of the selective breeding either it's the trauma and survival evolution that hasn't been passed to males because it wasn't required. Never underestimate the infanticide that is practiced in the UK. It's massive and always has been. What a fucking mess.

They came for the left France. And between the UK and the US they never allowed you to recover and we feel we are over the most of the mourning we needed to do.

Anyway. We can be hugged. HUGGED!!!! There is no one around to hug of course but we can and we arn't telling people to stay away because we can't be hugged, because we can be hugged. Did you get that dear reader? WE CAN BE HUGGED. It's over..

November 04, 2017

Mum's a twin

Parts were saying last night where we no longer have to fear Italians finding out exactly how much the mafias are fascist. Massive relief but also obvious as fuck. There would be no Trump without the Brits but they would never of gotten us anaesthatised in Trump tower if it wasn't for the Gabienos. The police and military aren't 100% dumb terminals like here and in the US though so that's something but all our efforts to separate the drugs and the slave trade amount to very little in long term and its quite clear authorities are all about legalising and legitmising the slave trade but not the drugs. No humanitarianism. No human rights but satanic rites are prioritized, upheld and enforced, this is the West, people arn't called people in the West..

Parts are also saying the mega bomb deep under Britain isn't just primed to go blow at us having consensual sex, being deep underground or high above it but we also can't set foot on the Americas.. thats why we had to program Mensch or some other vacuum bot to initiate the procedure that took out the worst underground slave factory under the US last year. The lovely pink gas, for most of them the only time in their horrific existences when they felt any comfort. Birds flying high, you know I feel..

She's out of her decades of winter if its true and getting caught up.. But we are still here alone and that makes it really hard to feel especially with the thought of another school week ahead of us..

No weed of course and not expecting any either and well past asking tools to be generous enough to let us pay the stupid prices for it.

It is better to know something of what would be "triggered" if we were ourself instead of just "can't" it's not PTSD and DID and a slave mentality that keeps us here its a bomb big enough to cause mass global extinction and fuck up Earth's orbit.. Don't think there is anyone else who can't get in a plane or the Earth will blow up think they are just relieved it's me and not them and use their DID to stop themselves from knowing what the systems that have done this to me have planned for them.

November 01, 2017

Rosa Menzel

See littles it's not as bad now, we can type our name it's Rosa Menzel or maybe was. Mum said her dad was a great man and she was proud of the name and we should be to and not care too much that it's been stolen as they have and are taking much worse than our names. Can't say it aloud to ourself and the surveillance or Pablo yet and don't think we could sign it just yet alone but maybe tomorrow. We are going to have to say something to him when the pendant arrives. Not much but something.

As previously discussed by many but yesterday we watched Finders Keepers and Death Note with the lad and it was not bad. We mentioned othering and sexism. We can't not watch tv with pabs without pointing out the isms. We don't watch tv with him much.. Really can't bare the big screen and all the crap pouring out of it.

Littles are relieved they can mourn Petey without being terrified of what they will do to him or what they will make him do. Turning beautiful baby boys into machines is the way of the West and imperialism everywhere. What he could of been though, what we could of been together.. there is no point in thinking like that. It's not like he was conceived in a safe home and in a loving relationship and then stolen as many are, he was the product of rape and born to a child slave, by and for the BBC, the British establishment, the American establishment, the porn and fossil fuel industries, the legions of nasty masonic techies. Designed to be a weapon against us and everyone else who thought about resisting and cared about being human. They flat lined us when they did his operations and the worst to him. It disgusts the paramedics they way we always came back. We couldn't of told them how even if we wanted to, quarantine but we would say sometimes that we have told them we have Friends and they are not going to let us go or leave us a slave so Earth can keep its ridiculous and flimsy facades while it destroys all the life it touches.

It was so good to finally hold him and it not be extremely dangerous anymore. There is chance we got Sonny out early, like hours after his birth but not Petey. Petey is finally at rest and is not a threat to anyone anymore.

His "Dad" called us at some point we seem to remembered saying that the American's had took him to the states "probably as a replacement Paul Anderson" and Tong said "Paul Anderson is dead?" and we sighed and hung up on him. Think it is quite likely we will never have to hear that monster's voice on the phone to us ever again.. wow many of us never believed we would be free of the music industry slavery but I believe we are and am very grateful to everyone everywhere who helped.

Don't know if all the assorted evil that is British lawmakers, politicians and business leaders, our landlord, the right wing in general etc still think the plan to use Petey to kill us is still ongoing. Many no doubt will they don't check facts they just stick to the script and what they are told and what they are told often comes from us so they probably do. The only promise we could really give him other than that we loved him was that we would not let them use him to kill me as they were telling him they were going to, over and over and over. He's not going to wake up and find out he is a rape bot in hell again and that is good and makes it possible for us to be.

Don't know where his body is, maybe with his Gran, maybe not but it has probably taken about a year and a half to do the full autopsy and list every old injury and every piece of tech in him.

Got a text saying someone will be round tomorrow to fix the boiler, probably the same guy who hasn't fixed it all the other times. It needed replacing when Margo had the lease but if they are not going to replace a stopcock they are certainly not gonna replace a boiler.

Shockingly enough no one has turned up with weed and we are not expecting them to. We are guessing the first contact we get will be part of immediate extraction. Hopefully, surely, that's an order.

Parts are saying bio first nation Daddy is still alive somewhere. Hope so. Love you. Even if you didn't make it this far. Pretty sure our singing while we wash dishes habit came from him.

October 31, 2017

You got our mothers but you wont get us.

I believe that the Japanese comrades who had to use the Satanic British networks to get a hold of our DNA to make a comparison with the young women whose recently slaughtered remains they helped extract from a field in Skene in the 1990s and have kept safe ever since have the results. The Satanic British networks being the NHS and adjoining "secret service", remember we said they took blood and the computer label came out "Louise Johnston" and the nurse said she would print out another with the "Julia Stuart" but we never saw her do it, she said it would get chucked out in the lad if it had the wrong name on, okay doke, we fucking wish..

Dude we texted about lay on never got back to us. We got cash now, took out 100 if anyone fancies bringing over some quality cannabis, or even not all that good cannabis and some proper pain killers cause we are done feeling brain damaged as fuck every time we pick up the apple phone, yes that symbol is a fuck you to all us female slaves kept for our brains as well as our orifices. It's an American tech company. They are all, yes all Satanic, masonic, Templar, misogynistic, antisemitic man made flesh bots that can't live independently but outwardly appear to be doing just that.

We order it.. of course.. a star of David. Cause its not the nineties or any other previous year when it would be impossible and suicide to consider it. No circle around it. We can't separate the circle around the star from being told Jews were being infiltrated and replaced with Satanists with the intention of eliminating all who they can't enslave. They form circles around us so our screams don't get out and friends can't come to help.

Hitting the eighties tunes, lad got a cold over the weekend so that makes keeping him home yesterday, today and banning the trick or treating for a munch out and scary movie fest instead easier. We still don't have hot water and the heating we do have keeps cutting out might have to force him to wash tonight with the thirty seconds of hot water we do get before it turns to an stream of ice because he is pubescent and ew..

Thinking bout junkie english bro, hello, bring drugs and I promise I wont make you wash my dirty knickers..

Love you sistas..

October 29, 2017

No hot water for the dirty Jewish whore and the bastard son if they wont submit to the cut

The tosser than never fixes anything came round and fixed it enough so the heating is back on tho and pissed about with the downstairs toilet and said it was fixed again so it will keep filling and not stop again the next time its flushed. Same problems Margo had with this place when she had the lease like six or seven years ago and Laura of course had to. Same shitty shit over and over again.


Rosa Netanyahu we signed. The pigs were not happy. He's my mother who was slaughtered in Skene for being Jewish and female and intelligent's (can't remember how many generations it goes back but this is GB so probably hundreds) brother apparently and when we lost our American Dad (I hate that we can't remember what my Dad's people called their home) he turned up and said he would adopt me. What ridiculous huh? We got to talk to him when the Slaver powers that be needed something out of it. Everyday though he is choosing to keep me here. We could see where it was heading years ago it reeks soo badly. Most of the time we were only allowed to speak if we did so through other people, this gave the half arsed excuse that people give when they say they thought it was Mia who they liked to cut and drink the blood of.. (?!) For our own self respect and survival though we had to say to him that if he leaves at the center of the antisemitic world during a massive antisemitic feast in 2017 when the mechanical programming is down forever we wont be able to forgive it and that will have consequences we can't explain as a slave who is being watched and listened to constantly.

They are no doubt still deleting any intelligence he gets about how horrific America is and how "American Jews" can easily be triggered into calling for the death of all Jews in Hebrew and most are used for genocide and oppression ops. "Oh no way we could walk about in America wearing a Star of David Idina it's as bad as it is over here and if we have a child with us it will be worse and the younger the child the worse it will be." She acted all mock shock and started saying it wasn't true and was just programming.. Ace when the feds called about Rachael kicking seven shades of shit out of her when she spotted the disgusting extent of the theft.

Thats all years ago and there isn't any signs of life in America if we are not able to breathe it into them. It's such a shame. Could of been so cool but the genocide is pretty much complete these days and the hegemony clutched so tightly we can't see Israeli's standing up to American's anymore than we could see American's standing up to the Brits. We have been down and had a look around Earth when no thought we were here and oh my goodness it didn't half simplify things for us.

You stick with Stockholm syndrome and your partners that laugh at how they control you and turn you against your own Dad we are waiting for our furry abortionist from far far away, he feels sick at us being left here in October with no plans to get off the anti Semitic program and cares about my mind and my power the fact I am worked and never paid as well as my reproduction which he thinks should always be my choice and that we shouldn't be kept somewhere where we can't have children anymore than we should be bred.

Good luck with the war uncle.

October 27, 2017

"..and we will get rid of that Jewish witch and get back to the program." (crowd cheers)

Lost the second weed lass. We asked her to bring over toilet roll she brought some, the cheap stuff fair enough. We forgot to give her change or add a quid or two when we made bank transfer for the weed and got a stream of texts from her yesterday saying how we were taking advantage of her and other crap we didn't bother reading before we blocked her. Spending everything on weed at the moment and it isn't helping all that much. Glad the awful triggery hugs at the door from her are over, we had years of hugging an absent/never was Margo we don't need another.

We remembering saying in Skene in the early 90s that we did not want to friends with anyone who would only be our "friend" if slavers said so..

This is Earth isn't Terra is no more. It was natural and man made so it got destroyed because they couldn't get absolute and total control over it like the can with it's inferior man made imitation that did have an ancient Satanic computer at its center but doesn't anymore. We had folks growing weed in the spot where it was so that whenever people tried to terrify us with what is at the center of here we saw weed and lights which triggers a sense of well being, exactly the opposite of what they were after and the opposite of what the computer was doing and was going to do.

We were told to back in those early ninities programming 2017 times that they were gonna make our boiler break when we are on our period. We managed to text the landlords assistant about it but got no reply.. We didn't manage to phone the office.. the landlord and assistant are all kinds of Satanic, dead, anti semitic, handled etc of course .. so we are going into the weekend with no heating and no hot water..

Niall put 50 in the bank without us asking and sent a text saying he hoped the money helped with the stress and we cried, and not in relief..

Don't know if you survived Rayray but if you did and you can, your mummy really needs you and is about as awake as she can get where she without help and loves you all of yous and thinks you are tough as fuck and terrifyingly intelligent with a heart that is solid and pure.

October 25, 2017

Fortunate One

Ug reader. We don't feel quite so alone suppose. We've a few brothers and sisters that have survived the surface but that's about it. We keep thinking about the standard mason approved cross section of Earth pointing at in in front of a bunch of somebodies and calling it as empirical as flat earth theory. They were all cheered so they were most likely bots and someone pressed the "cheer now" button and are currently teaching fictional propaganda "science" to those of privileged castes deemed stupid or broken enough to live.

Some others far far away a long long time ago got tricked by Satanists into building this planet and it almost cost them everything except they still had enough sense left to destroy the unconscious flesh bots before everything was lost. It has been a privilege to help them heal and rebuild and show them the amazing work being done everywhere but planet dumbfuck. We believe they are and will help me here because they are good people and everyone everywhere would love to visit Terra but can't because of all the slavery, experimentation, genocide and torture.

Been thinking about how much of the West and the rest was lined up in front of tv screens waiting for Mensch and Murdoch to hold me and Mia's severed heads and declare a new Satanic international age and successful completion of genocide against the Semites and anyone else who with genuine humanitarian values.

However and whatever formed this planet there is one thing we are certain of and that is that Britain has been enslaving and murdering Jews and native living thinking feeling populations for longer than the pseudo science says the planet has existed..

Someone told us once that any Jew who went to live in Israel was already gone because it was obvious that GB was not going to give them a safe place it was always going to be the opposite. The deals are ongoing between Israel, Britain, America, Canada, France, Germany and others of torture and oppression techniques, cash, influence, lies and children always the selling, swapping, torture and killing of children and anyone who resists..

To face what America is though, what they did to my father and his land too.. These institutions can not continue. We thought early do about how it would bother us more to squish a blue bottle than it would to kill large amounts of the "human" population here because we can sense more life in a blue bottle or any fly than can in most people. It is ridiculously hard, impossible even to predict how a fly will fly or where it will land unlike the sanitized who are literally living scripts that are well known and shared so there moves, their words can be exactly predicted and times and that is not something that is alive..

We are barely getting out of bed. We did watch Monster v Aliens with pabs though, there is a lot we like about that film its just a shame that there has to be a certain amount of sexism and racism and lots of stereotyping or nothing gets past the censors.

We are probs gonna have to give in and phone Niall this week, please help someone anyone so we don't have to or don't have to alone. We can't cook much and have ordered weed we can't afford to try and take the edge of a burning desire to feel machine reverb and the constant terrifying isolation of course as well.

I wish our parents could of made it, we were given much more than Mia was from far far away and were told flatly that we do not have a mother, our mother was a breeder and she did not survive very few do and never to trust anyone would said they were our mother. We saw her work in some of the programming that helped us when we first were put in Skene, she was amazing of course before the breeding and the ops. You wont know if you have family until the main work is done and we are swinging between on their way and doing everything they can to all dead/worse never existed minute by minute and it is horrible.

October 23, 2017


So is this the fourth year we have been alone with no word from no anyone facing the week of the local school Halloween disco with the lad becoming more and more blind and deaf to me with every hour he spends in that school and another layer of bullshit added to his brain every time sleeps and every topic he wants to talk at me about are more and more overtly triggering. JK Rowling and "the chosen one" sharing a birthday, we can talk a tiny bit about it being racist and male supremacist and stupid but still can't talk about what is so deeply disgusting about the hook nose bankers or the house elves.. Pablo the writer of that book has literally told me she would kill you. Could you please stop saying we are wrong to call out sexism in Harry Potter. The other topic when he came in? Secret trials for his secret ninja club that were very close to the ideas behind satanic trials. We know he's got a him underneath it all, that our son is still in there but he isn't suicidal he isn't going to come out when we are alone in a place that is murderous to us and makes damn sure he knows.

At least we are not facing it alone and on anti psychotics like we were last year. That would of meant for a very weak, very sanitized us that wouldn't be able to think or act out of line. Fuck you all for that, seriously.

I'm not sure if there is anything set up, other than essential security for this all being allowed to continue. We would be finding it quite easy to make the big decisions if we had access to the big machinary so tonnes of Satanic various have and are working hard to keep 2017 as a total win. Particularly October and we don't really feel like being able to think consciously about our Jewish mother and family in Israel on the prepared predetermined date counts as a win for our side. This is their time table. You can tell it's their timetable because I'm in a place telling me for thirty years it's going to kill me and all my kind and "my kind" elsewhere don't seem to be to bothered about it which us always made it quite apparent that they are not my kind at all.

If we could write in Hebrew now we would but we can't because the often really small differences we asked of people to help us out here were often just used as instructions on what to do more of. Hollywood and Japan. We could use the masons own networks to quieten them down for a while to give us space to think but the factories in those places we couldn't get near, almost killed us if we did and anything we took out just replaced and upgraded.

With no contact we don't know if there has been changes made. We do think that the surviving Chinese team might be able to start work soon so that we can do what we do, and be what we be without loosing the pretty planet. We need our brothers. There isn't anymore time.

..your scientists can't think or see by themselves think I know who has the upper hand here..

It was great to show Mia what happened the first time we were set up by the West, she would of seen it before but it would of been long ago and tonnes of trauma inbetween so would mostly be unable to access it. They made her go through back then because they not get the reaction they wanted from me. We had been prepared and already knew that any hope for the West would not be found in any of its circles of power and that would do anything to destroy us at any age and that was going to be impossible to know the difference between violence that was planned for us anyway and punishment for things we had done. Can't remember what big official institution it was but we do remember thinking the "important types" were themselves and not replacements or stand ins and were relieved because we needed it to come from them, the "real" them. We did our bit. Explained and provided evidence of extremely violent and oppressive practices in and by institutions that were publicly stated as safe like schools, hospitals, police stations. Told of the ancient slavery practices and ongoing genocide and theft, kidnapping against cultures who had not already been destroyed by these practices which of course included talking about anti sematism and how efforts to exterminate all Jews did not originate or end in Germany and was still going and similar efforts with many native populations in many different places. We said that we had recorded British MPs swearing oaths to Satanism, discussing plans to commit horrific violence and massive fraud, murdering and abusing children and adults and being paid for it. We knew this was there cue, their trigger to also give an en masse declaration of Satanism and then they all personally talked graphically about involvement in everything we just described. We were very young and similar scenes have been repeated every few years or so. They piss us off now but they really hurt littler littles or anyone who has faith in these institutions.

We took it too the masonic lawyers and smiled. They can't touch us. We knew they would be encouraging everything and everyone else to off course but getting defense against them was essential early on as well as proof of course that the powers that be in these oh so civilized and developed lands are anti Semitic misogynistic child raping genocidal slavers who swear oaths to a fictional personification of evil and there is therefore no law. To be honest we did think the existence and possession of such tapes would have had much more impact than they have had even though we thought we understood perfectly that they wouldn't, not for a long time anyway.

Useful off hell though, when we could get an us and copies out of course.. Very useful.

Yeah no real hope for vagina bomb Marcon or for fucks sake Merkel has been replaced by so many people so many times no one has a clue what or who it is anymore as people or even being capable of displaying sentience without outside assistance..

I want my brothers back. We remember someone found us heartbroken and when asked us what was wrong we said we had been prevented from telling the Israelis about Sonny. I hope they know now and are not still paying the British for his safety or something else bloody stupid.. Love to Jess to. And to the sister that forced the fascist hospital staff to open the drug cupboard after the nastiness with someone who wasn't Jess and who died as quite a few did in the car park outside Lommond Ward but we still can't believe we are free of.

We've been thinking about David (It was Al they took who we already lost) coming back and we roused from our drugged up stupor to apoligiese for it and the drool patch we have left on our bros uniform shirt but really genuinely didn't seem to mind and was even quite proud to go out and fight with sister drool on him.

Bit awkward when we could no longer keep him hidden and had to face time his superior back home and stutter and hmm for a bit because of everything everyone had been put through to show him David, sedated but otherwise fine sitting next to us on the sofa. We had been worried, we don't have a lot of experience dealing with human humans and were worried he would be angry and not help us get him the fuck out of Fintry. He was laughing crying though we knew when we saw that it was going to be okay, the fuckers weren't getting this one.

After he was home we could relax a little bit and fuck with Graham by "accidentally" letting him know Al was gone gone he started ranting but we could see the mess that was him and could easily find the off switch. That was fun. What a fucking mind he had, or did have before caving to the Satanism as most do when they are on their own. We knew how far he could help us and the points he would turn people's parts tell us if we want to hear it or not if they have any voice or self to be split in the first place of course. We couldn't really be arsed with whatever weirdos turned up with files on him we knew enough from all the other files and all the first hand experience to know their wouldn't be much in them we didn't know or couldn't guess. We knew there was something we needed or he needed us to have or something and we kept feeling it had to with that friggin painting of him in the livingroom. It was too fucking obvious. So we wondered about the opposite and believe we found he had sacrificed himself and not in any meaningless way either but in an extremely meaningful way like he saved a lot of lives and made a very serious contribution to conditions that have made it possible for "me" to last a night in the UK never mind decades..

We wished there was someway to tell him the stuff we couldn't sometimes because most of his head was a masonic sweetie shop but then he would switch and make it not only easy but essential that we walked away.

Sister drool though and how it felt when they walked into the bay.

I love you. And Mia we love Mia too but we are terrified she doesn't exist or did but has been killed.. It's not pleasant living like this..

October 22, 2017

..we thought he would have a chance if he was black because the Todds wouldn't take him..

Crawled out of our abyss a little today, did some housework, made an easy meal and ate it with Pabs sitting at the table in the kitchen. Getting down to the layers of stuff that happened in hospital last year that actually happened. There was plans to get us to talk about the truth then force ECT on us, didn't happen because knew their plans and made sure someone was there to stop them. We would be dead though or more likely, much much worse if the Israelis hadn't eventually made it in.

Thinking about the call we made to some front desk out there, saying we had just taken out a group of truly horrific utterly dead and Satanic women out there that we have needed gone for a long time. We apologized for all the mess we left, warned them that all their materials would still be there and were extremely disturbing, said not to worry about their chips as they had been removed and were destroyed and said something about ourself and our life and the how horrific it has been being enslaved and breed by the antisemitic Scots and said we had to go because the surveillance was coming back on when we actually had a little bit longer we just didn't want to answer any questions and hung up. We waited for that landline to ring back or the world to end but neither happened for a while.

They did get in touch eventually though and it was such a relief to hear that all the materials were indeed still there so we were not being accused of an anti semitism which we would be if the Brits or the Americans had heard they were dead and got to the scene first. Lots of people had to work really hard to make any intelligence sharing possible but it was never and "if" for us, like Russia, Japan or every other sanatized country we need to know people have the information they need to make informed decisions if they then choose to continue to support genocide, slavery and femicide then they have done so out of choice not because they didn't know. Finding people with the capacity to understand even the simplest aspects of Earth history has been a nightmare though due to the destruction of cognitive skills and empathy.

"Friends of Israel" and so many others carry no illusions about what they are and what they are about, they have declared their raging antisemtism to me and others on many occasions but finding people who cared enough to act and do anything to even limit the horror has been impossible.

If we hadn't made that call though they would of got me and pabs like they got Sonny, they put a bomb in him that would go off if I hugged him after they raped and tortured him lots of course, then they destroyed his mind. He was brought to the hospital of course by police who are always completly dead and completly controled and when the damage was seen someone asked if i wanted to say goodbye and we told them we couldn't because of the bomb.

All these years and all this work and Earth is still ruled by people who get to power by putting bombs in babies so their slave mom's cant hug or talk to them. I'm glad we have done all the investigating we have done or we would not understand how any one can still do business with "people" like this. There just isn't actual people left in general populations never mind positions of influence. We pray for it all to end, or for at least the start of the end soon.

October 20, 2017


Started thinking about David last night and haven't really slept yet. He was too good to leave us and too good to survive the years that have just passed. We couldn't walk about in Dundee together, espicallay with Pablo passersby would spit and attack us and say antisemitic shit. We can't remember the specifics of who eventually got him but we gotta say Louise Mensch and the Satanic Hollywood Jewish youth but they are too obvious so we gotta say they used a local kid to get him to open the door. What Scotlands children are is not something we could properly get him to understand. But maybe that's all rubbish and they got in and got him down because they still had a lot of serious tech and the forces that would join together to split us up were quite something..

Not the Israeli army so much though as they wanted to know why there solider hadn't checked in and how to get the body back as soon as possible especially after we said they would be doing horrific things to it. We couldn't leave him until they had him back from where ever they had him England. "Normal" communications between the Israelis and the Brits but increasing numbers were talking to us about everything to. We were dissociated to worry about accidentally telling any slavers about it, we were barely aware we were doing it. All the brutal enslaved years wondering if it would make a difference if the Israelis knew more and here we were giving them everything and we didn't care because David was gone.

We were suspicious when we could feel anything about them, who the hell were these people with their respect and tact and acting on information we gave them and then getting back to us? It would occur to some of us sometimes that we didn't think Palestinians got this kind of treatment. After awhile it occurred to us to ask if they had looked at our DNA at all? Why would they and if they were going to they would ask first. Once they came back after that we could start to give them the proper brief on the British ancient and ongoing slavery systems it support across North America and Western Europe and its particular interest in Jewish girls. We got to tell non Satanic Israeli authorities about Scottish Satanism. We wished we could feel it but we knew if that was the case we would not be able to do it because authorities and slavers and handlers would pick up on it so we got to explain all that to them to and the work we do against it..

We got to them about how they had been hitting the Americas First Nations for a very very long time as well..
probably Jewish & Native American we are back there again and we can't go to Trumpland..

Can't bloody move, kitchen is a midden, Pablo is still Jewish to possibly even more so than we are.. can we go home now this is terrifying have you seen what they are into around here? Yeesh. Where's my real war?

October 19, 2017


Quite rotten mood today. I have no friends here and it makes us sad. We have a mostly cool house to live in though and we have a packet of curlywurly squirlies and do recommend them. Partners never happy whenever they have been able to get the whole "I will still be alone and surrounded at this point" brief. Very heart broken. We knew some of them would pull the mission if they knew had badly we were being treated and how horrendous and hopeless conditions were but we had built up relationships with survivors on Terra we didn't want abandon and questions we wanted answers to.

We can't hold back the war because our enemies are still not recognising our rights.. thats the whole reason for the war..I don't know what has reached whom yet but usually we would link our conscious recall to the approx time when certain information reaches certain partners so it's likely those that will act have or are getting what they need to make informed decisions and not be forced into inaction because all sources are Satanic. These people were wonderfuly grounded, they were respectful and honest empiricists they knew religion was to easily used as a tool of oppression and excuse for pillaging but watching us survive Earth and do all the work we have done elsewhere has undermined their whole belief system and that is reason number 23543534 why we fucking hate Satanism. As long as you don't think I can get out of this myself was all we could say to them and that we systems had been designed long ago to confuse peoples and that they had to stay focused on helping us with Earth or we would die and the slavers, theifs and rapists would take over everything again.

Think enough of them got it. We usually have some kind of bruising and of course the more and more arm scars to show people we were fallible that we were being hurt all the time and might not survive and do not have a magic wand to deal with all this hell we had destructive sciences and survival skills and they would not get us very far on our own, they could keep us alive and weak just as is required for a human computer or slave of any kind.

We just burnt our hand on the baked tattie spikes and are hate it and getting all weepy and feeling hopeless again.

October 18, 2017 Sir.. yeah.. umm.. about the Catholic Church Sir.. have you got a sec?..

We went outside yesterday. Bus and then walk to get fast food, handled it not too bad to begin with but then started hating it. Poor kid hasn't been allowed to enjoy a maccyds yet without being rushed out of the place because its all full of happy healthy almost always all white people and we know too much empirical history and ongoing intelligence to buy it. It was drizzly and starting to get dark but we walked home through the park anyway we were so glad to be out and away from people. Pabs found a cassette tape of country music near some bins and was fascinated by it espically when we said it was rare to see them these days and was probably from the 1980's ..

Their was a kid crying in restaurant though of course schools are off and it was Macdonalds around tea time..

In Dundee once there was a non white family in traditional Islamic dress and we were trying to not stare too much at them partly because it's rude but also because we didnt too look too closely and start seeing they were just as dead as everyone else and the different look meant they were probably being used to destroy any life or resistance in Muslim families. They had a little one who was kicking off a bit, too tired it sounded like and fast food joints are the lass place you wont to be if your all done with the stimulation for now, we couldn't help fucking smiling at them and the mom type caught our eye and smiled back. We were a little worried then if they weren't all ready dead we had as good as killed them by smiling and making eye contact but we got distracted from worrying about that pretty quick because another kid at another table started kicking off worse and the sound of the kid's cry made both me and we believe all of the Islamic family flinch really badly. Like feeling sick and some shock flinched, the family put there heads down and focused on their food as did Pabs I think but not me and the Muslim mom. We took a moment to gathered our ruined inners and made eye contact without any smiles. The place was packed, we were the only families that felt that and only two of us got that we can't put our heads done and pretend it's not happening or there very literally be nothing left for them to destroy.

We can hold the pretence like an umberalla, wear it like a haz mat suit when out and about quite well but we know we are never far from efforts to get through it and hurt us or even just annoy us its hows its always been and we have found it to be consistently exactly what we were told it would be by non Satanists right at the start. When we see blatantly alive non white people, espically if they have little kids and even if we know they hoards are all holding each other down programming wise we find it difficult not to attempt in some way to tell them to get the fuck out or at least trust no one ever and yes that includes us. During times when the hoards are not keeping each other down but are enabling and winding each other up and they have kids then we will make sure we at least have told them to get the fuck out of Scotland and probably Britain and they can tell all there people we are Satanic if they like we don't fucking care we know the numbers we know how seriously close to extinct living human peoples never mind "cultures" are on and in Earth and we are not going to let what is left of good stock be slaughtered or worse because we are scared non satanic people might say nasty things about us.. Whatever I say to you or show you know will not be as scary as what they will do to you and what they will do to your beautiful intelligent children their first..

SNP disapprove of course. Satan's Nazi Puppets can get to fuck though we don't hand out ancient artifacts without also providing a shit tonne of translated materials relating to modern day Scotland. It's the price we charge, we return and help you out with your shit you return and help me out with mine..

Little Book Of Calm

We were never sure how genuine all the promises were of rewards of we got such and such back to a people or just got it out of the hands of the Satanists. We believed quite a few were genuine but doubted their understanding of what we were up against and how big and bad the big bad picture was. We were doing it anyway they were using it to enslave us and everyone who might be nice to us. The sources of peoples culture and religion the whole sources and not just the sanitized versions and using bits they could pervert as the basis for the ritual abuse was their power. It gave them total control over technology, ideology, science and all aspects of human behavior and psychology.

What got us in first was support from very far away who needed something of theirs back and that was when we saw the haul and wept over it for the first time and more or less knew we had to get it all out and help people as much as possible to understand what was lost. Horrible work for a child that cant understand why everyone can't just change even if we did help them out with the tech.
Returning it all meant studying all outside of whatever drugged up, teched up, raped state we were in when Satanists showed us things.. We had to work with people on translating it all, on aging it all it was beautiful work to do and couldn't even be attempted unless we were free and safe.

We knew they were never going to stop trying to kill us or worst than kill us when they found out but we had seen all their own attempts at culture and theology and knew they were going to be doing that anyway and having it has a mission kept us alive and allowed us to make sense literally of what was happening to us as well great meaning to our life and survival.

It was so fabulous that while when us and our comrades were all over the place returning and reading excepts from stuff. Soo wonderful and the more public it was the more wonderful and healing and worthwhile it all had been felt.

Masons were mostly not interested in that stuff they were never supposed to, its there job to be the fiction some of the head ones knew though that the power of the materials particularly collectively in regards to justifying the compulsory patriarchy and misogyny..

October 15, 2017


She came round with a lay on talk about her coming over for a cuppa and helping me clean. Says the lass we blocked for texting us abuse days after we refused to let her come round says hi, no apology for the nasty as fuck texts or anything just "hi" and lots of talk from my supplier about how the other lass is changing. We don't want to be friends with the other lass again and we don't want supplier to help clean the house and we don't want her advice on managing mental health or chronic pain. She had invited us over to hers and we said sure, maybe but the idea filled us with terror and she never texted to push the point so that was fine. I hate the being talked to almost like I am like everyone else we have asked people to analyse it in the past, preferably someone who knew bugger all to say yes everyone does treat and talk to us differently and it's obvious and measurable. We let him on the how people talk about us when we are not there, gave a shit tonne a drugs, sent him off and haven't seen him since. Good luck to you green white dude..

Limited hope of course, "male privilege within Satanic societies is as effective at destroying any natural resistance to oppression and brutality in boys and men as the intentional physical damage done to developing female brains does to women and girls." .. or something better worded and with examples and references and several billion primary sources.

People who have helped us clean this house, "Margo", "Shona", "Bertie", "Stephen/Stef", "Niall"...


Both the lasses have and are contributing to us having a head stuck in 90s captivity and extreme slavery..

Niall put 50 squids in the bank and sent a text sending love and not to worry about asking for more because he has lots..


Really quite peeved and I know we were bloody told before setting foot anywhere or being tortured by anything that the mission was not to save Earth's humanity. Over ground, under ground, and the past majority of anything that had left there in the past few million years (these bastards don't have the squeamishness over numbers that we have. They gave us all the eye watering precise fucking numbers and made sure we understood them it was the only time if we have wondered if they were Satanic to, they definitely arn't) were fubared proper.

It's us though and we knew there was so much laid down for us already with both good and bad intentions, good and bad consequences that we would have to think bigger, believe harder and fighter stronger than anyone or anything had before or we would never even be able find ourself amongst all the protection, suppression, manipulation, etc.. so we fucking believed it was possible.. Kinda had to put the biology aside in order to do which was an obvious sign that this for us not because we thought it would work. They warned us against it but what when they saw how every loss on Earth translated to many many wins else where because of everything we had learned, we knew the worst intimately and it wasn't never elsewhere it's always been here.

October Sunday the 15th 2017. Everything we said would be done in order to make education, healing and humanitarianism on Earth possible has been completed well within the given time frame. I still have no recognised identity by any authority on Earth and no one has been charged with any crime against me despite vast amounts of evidence. I still have not received due payments for work carried out on contract by Earth authorities, individuals or collectives. I am still forced to live in conditions and a location that are harmful to me and my child. I still have no contact with any of my other children or living family members or representatives of any kind. This means it is most likely we have no living family members or representatives on Earth. Earth's institutions and culture is still centered on slavery and division despite numerous opportunities to reform and all the resources required to do so readily available.

Over to you dear reader.

October 13, 2017

Word Up

Yesterday we had some decent strength pain killers, the offensively small amount diazepam we fought long and hard and were subjected to all kinds of blatant and subtle slaver talk from GPs to get, got more weed and a bottle of vino as well and wrote most of this. We know there was talk back in Dundee in particular about us slowly starting to engage our brain again. Usually the people who enourage us in this are trained in the procedures involved in the taking the intellectual property, creativity and memory of rich minded slaves so they can throw away the good stuff then hack up anything low brow, remove any diversity and empathy and hand it out to the meat muppets with tax codes and the allowed allowed to be on TV faces.

Need the drugs to properly remember and feel, to know we are real, know love is real and to get past all the slaver systems who have tortured us and threatened us into feeling and knowing very little and to share nothing. Need the drugs, the comfort, the lack of anxiety get any real break from Western Satanism, need them to remember how it felt to make a positive difference and be with people who wanted to help and not use us.

Since we are thinking about tunnels and drugs we have to give a big shout out, big tonne of love and a little bit of wot the fuck bro to Al as their main power currently is hegemony and their is a fair amount of evidence to say me and my isolation and my DID are very important to said Satanic slaver hegemony and pretty much everything physical that in the past they could use to control us is gone and can never be repeated and yet still no fucker has even texted us. For fuck sake.. The lass we get weed from has started hugging us every time we see her.. but at least the social worker is saying she is on the way out. I know man you gotta lead but you don't all need to bloody lead and we can give everyone much better support if not on our own in fucking Fife with a pubescent male child that has more money on his head than they have put on ours.

The whole Railroad brief/mission didn't not end with everyone done their living utopian paradises while I am trapped on the surface cause they have rigged Inverness and others not just to my stress levels, we did that they have rigged them to us going off if we go home.. like going back underground, like getting of Earth and no doubt if we are get too happy.. There will of course be folks attempting to deal with this but they are gonna get in touch once its done and they haven't yet.

People also have to get out because there is quite serious damage caused by everything beneath the surface that could be easily fixed if the surface wasn't all covered in flesh bots and people weren't all living underground in such ridiculous numbers and so used to the freedom and peace down there and utterly useless when it comes to physically fighting biological dissociated hoards of rapists and slaughterers with shit in their heads that will take us down if triggered. We  would try and explain that we had been through and were still in hell to get the knowledge and experience that we put into books that were usually impossible to give to people above ground and that after everything we had done and had been done to us we would not be fit to make a surface fit for cultures like themselves without massive amounts of support that would not becoming because of the programming. It was horrid when eyes glaced over when we talked about all that. The best we would get was something along the lines of that stuff being the reason they were there. We found so much underground horrific and wonderful and it isn't always obvious which is which.

We came across a small community once when we had been tunnel cleaning so long we were completely dissociated with exhaustion, horror and trigger tech. Big space, lots of light, homes and cooking spaces cut into rock. Think we would of cried if we were not completely dydrated. We watched as some got water from a well but we still couldnt drink it until we saw some of them drink it first. We knew we had to drink it anyway or we would die. After the first few sips we slumped to the ground and hated ourself because we there was a couple of tears instantly when we needed the water not the tears, we stopped ourself from licking them up along whatever our face was caked in and drank more actual water then asked for more. They stood around not sure what to feel or what to project to us until the water revieved us and talk turned to food but that wasn't an option until we were cleaned up a bit we had food stuff and weren't starving we had just ran out of water.

They seem genuinely shocked at the state we were in and some asked if we were a child and if our parents knew and we had to explain the whole thing about preparations for war to permanently remove the power of Satanic slavery and all it's sources from the surface and the undergrouds some looked alive, their eyes shinning and bodies expanding while others looked increasingly greenish. She may even of said something about her and me being female and war not "our" job which was pretty incredulous but we just said we would have to talk to her about that at another time but at the moment we would have to figure out ways of scrapping the worst of it of, getting the armor of with as minimal damage to it and myself as possible.

We could feel their relief when we showed our trust in them by asking for help in getting cleaned up. She was persuaded to bugger off at that point by some of the men and we asked a kindly old dude type if there was any women who were not.. and motioned to her and her attempt at strutting off in disgust and he didn't let us finish just put his hand on my shoulder made noise that sounded like he understood and walked of we hoped to find some women with intact brains. We sighed as he left and said to him and people who were all or mostly men with one or two women behind them that this would probably be a many person job.

The old guy came back when with another women probably a little older than the other and our heart sank, full on plummeted. These fuckers were cutters and we couldnt not know it. We wished we had at least waited until we got some help before realising. It was more awful than we thought it would be. They wait until you are asleep before anything happens so nothing happened but to be so physically close to them as they scrapped, peeled, soaked and worked of the layers of filth and filth soaked fabrics.

The first bath they led me to was amazing, huge and cut into the floor and built up with same stone. We are trying to remember the colour but have gone from it being darkish and reddish to pale and greyish.  Either way it was beautifully crafted and stunningly light and we did not want to pollute is with the filth we were deeply covered in. We asked if they had some kind of hose, they did not. There was discussions to about if the clothes should be cut off but when we explained they were quite fancy and very much designed for us to be cleaning tunnels. We were impressed when we got down the against the skin level and saw the dude had been right nothing had gotten through it we were all pink and clean underneath.

Some seemed a little surprised and some suspicious to find us so white underneath it all and there was laughter then to, again especially from the men some of whom talked about already knowing I was white. The longer we spent close to the women the more we felt terrified and physically ill. We were glad we had enough experience up top to know it wasn't that the men had not been cut and tortured just that the damage was less early and less severe. We also knew that most set ups like this where they seemed so openly civilsed and welcoming had some of the most disturbing and ancient horrific practices going behind the facade. I don't think we saw anyone under their mid teens and they had a distance in their eyes and painful awkwardness in their bodies that made me look away quickly.

The women discovered our hair and wanted talked of saving it and were not really listening to us when we said it would take too long, it was nothing but a hassle and just cut it as short as they could. We noticed one of the men head out of the smaller bath room before and hoped he was doing what we needed someone to do and that was get something sharp and hack it off,  he literally waded in to the filthy water do the job. We were seeing enough already to make sure not to look at whatever it was he used but we couldn't help but laugh at the liberation of having the sodden matted filth that had become our hair that we never really want even when it's all shinny and naturally straight. We didn't forget our self for long though. They were pulling tricks the surface Scots had given up on years ago still we knew we could not let our guard down especially as we were naked, with their horrible heads all around us and our armor being scrubed by an old women, our stuff out of reach and with some of the most deadest eyes we have ever seen and we have seen the Scots marching to their Satanic lords between it and us.

The worst triggers were when we saw the patches of gore and filth and the foot prints between them as we had worked together in different areas to clean us up. They knew nothing about what is was like up here, especially back then. We remembered being with someone when we were littler who had passed through with us and made a brief barter with them and we got some hot food, he never took his eyes of them as they cooked and spoke as roughly as I had ever seem him. When we left through the door to the next tunnels he said we must never come there alone, never eat anything they offered and never ever sleep there when we were in the night gown type thing they gave us with our armour layers drying by a fire. We had manage not to eat much, or possibly anything at all that they offered. We said we had a sensitive stomach and did actually have something we could eat in our rucksuck if it was okay if we used the fire. They smiled wonderfully to my face but we could feel the sicking rage building as they watched as eat.

We rested as best we could but it wasn't easy they had mattress type things and we were used to grabbing sleep on stone and dirt and we couldn't escape the dread that these people were quietly waiting for us to fall asleep and then we would be reminded of what was going on behind the facade and what they were doing to the kids.

We knew we could manage to get through the first night without properly sleeping much but would be bound to drop off when they got up and it felt safer and if eventually slept after this time they might not even need to drug us. We sighed out out loud and sniffed and wiped back a tear when we heard the women discuss what combination of drugs should be used and what procedures and tortures to use first and in what order the next day and we started to get up and looked at the still sodden armor and how it was going to cold and dark and filled with god knows what and some of the men didn't have to work to hard to convince us to stay a little while at least until the armour was drier and we could help ourself to their supplies in the meantime.

The men watched us and we watched the men when we attempted to rest and eat the next day until a friendly enough in a situation like that turned up and could watch me while I slept and had more non suspect food. Never just sleeping with us though is it? Always been massive issue but down there they had no idea what they were up against so we got a couple of days defrag and laid down some lovely awful tracks to make taking as many of them out as quickly and easy as possible. There was the super evil women they were more programmed with deeper levels and wouldn't fall for that and we were not sure about the men so we used the time then and after to find out as much as we could knowing it would be top level vomit inducing stuff.

We had seen it in Britain and pretty much anywhere near an ancient tunnel, when community was obviously lost and the women all cut and the men seem like they might be ok and like that whole thing was being done to them, it's all shit, it's the facade and once you get behind it you find communities of men who annihilated instantly any sign of life, resistance, hope, identity, healing, creativity in everything humanoid and female. The were endlessly practicing on animals to.

We knew we could do it all, expect the main patriach and his surrogtes basically because they had shit in their heads that if we shot at them diretly or attempted a lethal move that thing would take us out. We were getting worried, they should be here by now, they are late, stay calm focus if they don't we will figure something out but as we lost more an more possible ways out and was becoming increasingly cornered we were getting increasingly concerned. They did indeed turn up just and like exactly just in time and we came quite close to taking them all out. These were American pricks we knew what "just in time" meant, it meant they were watching and pushing us for their own ends and doing everything they can to keep us pernamently stressed rundown and overworked.

We weren't interested in their bull and told them it wasn't just "their" support that would be watching ours would be to and would be making sure the autopsyies, all of them were performed correctly and professionaly then got the fuck out of there with out bothering to clean ourself up there was no way we were taking of any layers surronded by young privilaged American males. It was only one job thick anyway, not like we had been working for months alone and without enough water to drink nevermind wash.