..dear reader..

By christ its been awful.  Poor beautiful 12.  Not as awful as it was when it was ongoing but still seriously awful.  Those bastards emaciated me and loads of people were involved, loads knew something or enough. They hurt bairns, outside bairns and not just mine, hurt them a lot and no one I told was able or willing to do enough to stop it.  Its probably been about a year since that particular system of seriously traumatised trafficked parts came forward so completely and so devastatingly and for so long.  Last time we had only just started seeing therapist and were pretty mute then too relieved when they went away again to want to trigger them back by talking about it much.  Surely next time its not gonna hit so hard we have all done a lot of work.  Basically gone from having words like 'DID' 'Rape' and horrible pictures floating around a mind that had little awareness of what it was to drawing system  maps.  Its been said before but it ca...

You can say, write or draw anything you want. Most of the triggers are deactivated so you will not be on your own with it ever again. The boy is grown up now and after Glasgow Tong can't pull us back into it all again. We coz too much bother no one wants anything to do with us! You don't have feel guilty for sharing what happened, yes its crippled us but it won't always be that way. We have an outside person who listens and believes us so we don't feel cut off from they whole world anymore like they told you you would always feel. Thank for being here, thank for hiding and for sharing but you don't have to disappear anymore. Please think about what you need and what you like, you will be heard and everyone will do what they can to make you less sore, less terrified and less alone. You are awesome.

Yuck. The Moyles, Dave and Chapters victim parts have been back pretty much full time again. 2001 was the worst, sometimes them and the dream team together. Lots of just the 3 of them. 'Penis or prolapse' always a favorite game in abuse networks. They took turns analy raping me for as long as it took. In the living room, the hall, the bathroom. When they got what they wanted they brought out another DID part put my hand behind my back and asked me to guess what I was holding. They would force me to do something on camera before I would be given painkillers or taken to hospital. Chappers espically seemed to get off on making me watch the footage on you tube or whatever porn site. I didn't get it how could making me watch it online be any worse?  There was always lots of games in that sort of abuse. They did it again months later but it was just Moyles flaccid penis that time I was very relieved then the other two started on me again. In hospital there was little parts c...