Rosa Rites.: Journal

April 09, 2014

Every breath is a new world..

Content Warning

The abuse, the training, the experiments, the grooming, the being raped, filmed and sold began when I was a very small infant. The last rape was in 2010 when we were told to stop speaking out by men who had abused us previously and who all have established professional careers. I was 31.

(15/6/15 there were more, taken from flat. twice maybe three times sometime between June '13 & August '14. No wonder we have been making slow progress)

(Yep. And we weren't 31 back then. There has been heaps of abuse limiting what we could think and feel never mind publish)

This is a space we use to try and recognise, accept and if possible move on from all that trauma, to know and heal the parts that make up what's left of 'me'. A space that if we needed we could access from anywhere in the world and where deciphering handwriting would not be an issue.

Please be aware there are references to rape, child abuse and murder and is written from the perspectives of a plural personality who is in many ways still trapped in moments of extreme terror, agony and trauma and there will therefore appear to be inconsistencies in tense, time, place, voice, style, register, etc, ...

Obvs.

#DID

Daffs.

May 15th 2015

There was more than two of us.

We know the need for brutal organised well connected violence to not be happening, to be impossible here, on this kind of scale over so many years. Why would respected people be involved with such activities with such people?

We have sometimes thought of dissociation as an extreme form of the same conflict between ideals and reality and what happens when the difference is intolerable.

The agonies of being trafficked for the most extreme markets compared to feeling uncomfortable that people are talking about how violent and corrupt our civil society is.

We never had the luxury of not knowing or just pretending because if I didn't pay attention I'd be dead.

R.I.P Louise.

Rosa Rites.

April 09, 2014

Journal

1 comment:

DOB

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