Journal

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Every breath is a new world..

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Watered and fed the Roses

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 We couldnt leave the flat this time last year. Couldn't even make it to the bins sometimes. Think I remember a post about the total dread experienced when May turned to June. Not so this year. Was a bit worried We would feel something close to that awfulness, that triggered terror on the day of the coronation that Tesco and the met office kindly told us about but nothing like it. Jesus those late last year posts acting like we were getting out fucking telling Junior we might be going home and 'twin'? wtf.   Unfortunately, ended up in the garden the same time as the downstairs horror story and knew she was going to say something there was no way she wasn't going to mention it. She asked if We watched it I said 'Nah' pointlessly hoping that would be the end of it. She started talking about how 'wonderful' it was and we stuck up for ourself and all that is decent everywhere by saying it's 'a bit ridiculous for a modern country'. She started som...
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Letter to Savile Investigations.

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There is a few typos left and its bit clumsy at times, especially towards the end, I have resisted the urge to fix them. Behold below! My letter to the investigations...  As a survivor of networks in which Savile played a very significant role I have found and still find it difficult to remember, articulate and find the right person to talk to about this.  There is a lack of witnesses and victims coming forward and a lack of training in the police when it comes to taking claims of extreme organised abuse seriously.  I am sending this letter to institutions who have ongoing investigations into Jimmy Savile to request that those involved keep an open mind in regards to the possibility of abusive networks that may have included the day to day staff in institutions from various roles and professions.   I am aware that the recent Yew Tree report stated that 'offences were normally, opportunistic' (7.11,p.12) but I hope the...
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Tomorrow

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Hi Dad, Hope your alive and OK. We are not too bad, we seem to be calming down a bit. The present is slightly less of an awful place to be now that accepting the here and now is not the same as tolerating the domestic abuse and organised crime that wants us compliant or dead as all we will ever know. How Lynne's oldest treated Pablo when we were up there has been on our mind a lot today and yesterday. Seven or eight years old and saying she wished the lad was dead at the dinner table, the way he was sobbing one time when we came downstairs and Margo wouldn't tell me what she had done to him, her hate to us was so palpable but to project that onto to baby and for that to be more or less tolerated. After Laura's died and her daughter was really struggling she told me she didn't wish I was dead like Lynne's oldest and others were saying. Neglected, abused, groomed bairns. Family, police, social workers all involved in it, the murders and the cover ups. So scared for...
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