September

A no vote.. What a pity.. Colonialism continues but by Christ the numbers joining the SNP & other yes parties! The will of so many to continue is bloody fantastic.

Had a stinking cold fuck up all the stuff that we have to do, quite common when weve been decorating and it's September. 

The loss of Alkysis meant the landlord signed the lease over to me and we have as close to our dream house as we could get without winning the lottery or being paid for work completed as we can get. A dream house which smelled pretty bad and is full of my sister's stuff and zilcho assistance. Mum says 'just chuck it'. Easy for her to say.. She's not doing to well with her COPD I hope she starts coming round to the idea that maybe the best place for them is here sometimes five minutes away, in a house with me, their cuz and the 3 bedrooms and the garden instead of 2 bedroom flat with her who doesn't have the breath to take them to school.. 

Either way it seems this place is ours and we loved it from first sight. Sorry that the sorting, cleaning, painting has had to slow down til the fever passes but it's ok we will get there..

The funeral was ok. Didn't get attacked by anyone and Psychosis wasn't there so she couldn't take her shitty feelings out on me. We read, 'do not weep' by Elizabeth Fry, mum's choice and everyone was really nice and gave us lots of hugs.

The kids' Dad is causing stress. As he has done in the past. Talking about getting his own place and taking the kids to Aberdeen. Mum gave us the impression that he had backed down what with him staying at a mates house, working long shifts and the kids being settled here but he started it again with me today. Said one minute that Veruca doesn't want to move again then started talking about taking them away, coz they have more family up there (that they rarely see and haven't helped out). Said something about being 'kept' at Dads, where he made little or no attempt to find his own place why would he? His work was minutes away, all he did was work, smoke and pay my dad 50 a week. '3 days without a smoke that's good for me' .. Pfft.. Don't think we can let him in here again. He offers no help (with all his stuff) and upsets us. He really doesn't get the whole  kids needs come first thing. 'I wouldnae move here when Laura was alive so I'm not gonna do it now'. Your kids are here you fucking tool..Mum is in charge though so there isn't much we can do at the moment.

 I hate that whole 'I have a right to see my kids when it suits me and not when it doesn't but don't have responsibilities' attitude it sickens us. He came down Friday night, talked about leaving today but is leaving tomorrow instead. When asked about specifics, like it would be helpful for us, mum & the kids to know when he will be here and when not. He said the 12th and maybe other times when he can afford it .. So once a month then..

Meanwhile the kids need cared for everyday (they are 5 & 6), their gran still has severe COPD, we see them everyday and our wee man plays with them everyday.. 

 Pisses us off that mum lets him stay with her after the shit he has done and things he has said. 'But he's their dad..' (Of course he has rights he was in an abusive relationship with their mother!)  Well he needs to figure out how to stand on his own two feat then doesn't he and start treating the people who look after his kids with some respect. 

Wonder if she would rather they went to him than me anyway. Updated the useless social worker about having made lots of allegations. He thought he would be in and out. Didn't even take his pen and notebook. Mum also hadn't told him she has severe COPD. He thought it was asthma.. 

Useful friend coming down this week thankfully coz we can't drive a van, nor empty our old second floor flat by our selves..