..dear reader..

It's been a blessing. For us and so far. I have a lifestyle that isn't alien to people I can bare to listen to. It happening here and now with us being safer and securer than we ever have been. Month after month of no School day mornings with an adolescent. Happy, childlike, affectionate, large hairy cherub.  We are waiting on the monthly universal credit. It's enough. Enough to cover shool gear probably if we get it right. Amazon list waiting, not just cheap shit and don't order the two of the same thing in the same size because then if one doesn't fit there is at least another. New school and he's shot up a lot  and out a bit since the Spring. The adult sizes for his feat on something that might last him is going to be sobering. And there is the hair and the face. And the everything else. The anxiety and exhaustion of other years. Knowing I would put of, would fuck up would get really upset would really upset him about every single thing that had to be done an...

Seeing rain forecast all day is easing the July depression. I don't think he has had a birthday yet when I haven't had to be really faking it and forcing ourself and the effort of the fakery and exhaustion at living with it all when it's warm and beautiful and sweet and fresh smelling outside means that we can usually forget about August bringing much of break. Fairly organised this year present bought and wrapped, food shop arriving the day before with plenty time to get whatever is unavailable. There's a good start on the uniform organising and making sure he gets school meals to. All this time without the awfulness of the before school mornings, it not being a big deal if we don't get to sleep until six a.m. Hoping when we go back to that we have had enough of a break from it that won't hurt so much. Sleep overnight wouldn't be any easier or possible but.  Happy that we can enjoy more stuff though, years of being aware that podcasts are not only a thing b...