Okay.
It's been a blessing. For us and so far. I have a lifestyle that isn't alien to people I can bare to listen to. It happening here and now with us being safer and securer than we ever have been. Month after month of no School day mornings with an adolescent. Happy, childlike, affectionate, large hairy cherub.
We are waiting on the monthly universal credit. It's enough. Enough to cover shool gear probably if we get it right. Amazon list waiting, not just cheap shit and don't order the two of the same thing in the same size because then if one doesn't fit there is at least another. New school and he's shot up a lot and out a bit since the Spring. The adult sizes for his feat on something that might last him is going to be sobering. And there is the hair and the face. And the everything else.
The anxiety and exhaustion of other years. Knowing I would put of, would fuck up would get really upset would really upset him about every single thing that had to be done and paid for.
Not particularly confident that this will be him back at school like it was forever and that is okay. They are staggering everything and that's going be good for loads of kids.
Big chunk of the UC gone and rent paid. Hope we didn't fuck things up with overthinking and tinkering and second thinking. We need to keep going into shops at a minimum anyway but Covid has helped us accept that and get more realistic and practitcal about it.
I like what's been around lately when we think 'Hi Daddy'. Explaining our US fixation and the sense and belief that there must of been something other than the world of constant discomfort and horribleness, the reason we always knew we wouldn't end up doing the same things people around us did. The vividness o.f the two bodies of care and warmth before there was any sense of male or female, one dark skinned the other light and its like we feel really strongly that that is what a couple should look like. One has hair you curl up in and explore the other is always trying to teach you stuff.
