October 01, 2010

fear of women

There isn't any point in feeling guilty about it, like it's my fault, like it is something I just have to accept. I feel intimidated, bullied, undermined and invisible by most women. Their words their philosophies make me feel threatened.
It's okay.
I'm almost out of refuge, I don't have to speak to anyone I don't want to. It is my life, my health, 'no one has the right to judge' but they do. They give you keys, tell you who can visit and what time they must leave, they discriminate and make assumptions based on an ancient mythology
They are fascist.

I was looking for the number for my doctor when the phone rang. Gossip, Standing in the way of control, It was the housing. The flat is ready. I could of wept.

I don't feel safe here any more, I feel their piercing eyes their prying fingers everywhere. The cutting words rain down like bullets. Their generalisations and beliefs, as heavy as the cross.

The cross I lifted alone, the cross I made into hamster bedding.