June 29, 2012

It's all pretty good for me today

Citraliprams at 40, there is a load of light outside and inside my flat, my weed works and I have a 4 year old and a wii fit.  It's all pretty ace.  There's also loads of people unhappy about the corruption in the banks, government, press and police too.  Its barely scratching the surface of course but still the arrogance that people in power have is being challenged and their decisions scrutinised.  It makes me feel a bit more comfortable.  It feels a very long time since hope was watching the light grow above the hills or through my bedroom window wondering if daybreak would bring and end to that nights activities.  Wondering if it would be worth looking at then figuring out who my assailants were and if they were likely to leave at dawn or not.  Preparing for whatever was going to happen next could make a lot of difference but mistakes were disastrous.  I came round once, back to my flesh, my room, my life and found that evening's gentleman caller was still there, waiting for me. 

That's nursery finished for the young man, he's had his first short back and sides and he has just started, with some bribery and lots of encouragement, to put is pjs on and take them off again by himself.  He's so big and with the short hair I have flinched a couple of times at his blatant boyishness.  Especially when he wants 18 night night kisses.  We've been getting on really well but hes had a couple of nightmares.  All the talk of death and going to school I imagine.  Every parent worries I guess but with me and him its his utter and total lack of wariness around any kind of people.  Amazing as it is that a child of mine could be so oblivious of stranger dangers I'm scared he'll wont know how to deal with bullies.  A couple of times I've seen him have a strange attraction to kids that were acting up, putting himself repeatedly in the firing line.  There was one kid at his other nursery he talked about for ages, the little turd pushed my wee man around.  I didn't like it.  I've worried that wee dude acting funny around bad boys had something to do with whatever did or didn't happen that New Year with my nephew's mate.  I guess all I can do is keep an eye on it and chat about him avoiding the naughty kids and that if they hurt him to be careful because they could do it again.  He is a big clever lad with a mum who loves and supports him, I'm sure he'll be fine.

Been writing.  Central character, plot twists, perspective that sort of stuff.  Quite excited.  Back into the hinterland tomorrow though, to see how my sister's drinking, mum's neurosis and Gran's first weeks without her husband of 64 years is all getting along.  What fun.  Football on Sunday though, pizza and rioja.  Should help.