Below is an ohmygodImdrowninghere email from yesterday to my MP that we have cut and pasted in. Have also forwarded it Green's MP. Drummond, Paterson et al - I might be mostly amnesiac but we will always know everything. RIP Hollie.
Writing to ask whether, as another abuser who told me they would get away with it gets away with it if you were given any kind of time frame as to if and when the police will be in touch. Also to ask if you are aware of any other way to get my experiences of highly organised rings involved in violent abuse of children and adults taken seriously.
Uniformed and non uniformed officers were involved in the networks from early memories of being raped and assaulted by a group of police uniformed men as their radios went in off in the background in the family home in Glenrothes during the early 80s, to years of being taken across Britain with Savile and others and overhearing conversations and negotiations between him and the police and when I would sometimes run away and say as much as I could in the first police station I came to. During the 90s there was repeated of attempts to make statements about ongoing abuse and trafficking in Grampian Police Headquarters at Lodgewalk, Aberdeen, from around 11 years old to 22. I was sometimes obviously under 16, mentally vulnerable, pregnant and/or the victim of an assault and was verbally and physically attacked in the station on various occasions (amnesia/orders meant I kept going back), to everything that happened and was discussed in St Andrews, Glasgow and Dundee (where I mentioned an assault on my 6 month old son in 2007) through to recent years of still being told 'we will be in touch' when no one ever does, for as long as I can remember abusers in the police and the inability of police who aren't abusers to do anything has been ongoing.
While the police will not talk to me on the record they have told the BBC inquiry (e.g. where many very violent Savile trained abusers continue to work and BBC staff, premises, equipment was used to produce images of child rape and torture) and the NHS inquiry into Savile's activities as hospitals (e.g witnessed at least one murder in Broadmore, hospital patients were used as subjects to test for existing presence of or suitability for developing the types of dissociated states useful to abuse rings).
Its well past the point where its possible to have even a speck of hope that Operation Yew Tree, Fernbridge etc are serious investigations as on top of all the memories triggered and anger at the lack of truth about who knew about Savile and Iain Watkins there is now the not guilty verdicts for La Vall and Roach who I remember from the 80s and 90s as they were associated with Savile and who last raped me in Glasgow in late 2004, where La Vall seemed very threatened by my talking in St Andrews and was unaware that we have done it before and that any talking to police has no legal repercussions for whoever is named. I'm quite concerned about how I'm going to cope during the Clifford, Harris and if it ever happens the Richards trial to. In regards to some of the other names connected to Yew Tree I often catch myself thinking, 'aw, they weren't that bad.'..While someone who I have named repeatedly and has been a ring member from my preschool years in the early 80s right through to Glasgow where he was part of the gang rape of me and his two children has received an OBE.
Saying all that though even a tiny chance of an opportunity to make formal complaints or talk to someone about how the rings operated is very hard to walk away from but I need to put some sort of support in place to try and decrease the chances of further victimisation from members of the police if they are going to talk to me.