Been a lot better the last few weeks, decent weather in August is seriously appreciated when your June is July is spent in dissociated terror, meaning eating was so difficult, growing shut down, couldn't leave the house so badly We used newspaper and pritstick for cigerette papers. Fucking grim working so hard on the garden just to watch it all turn to weeds when the prime growing season arrives. No showed the NHS Junior's in Newcastle and phone calls we asked for online but then couldn't answer. Just Nope. Came off the antidepressants don't want to be on them if there isn't any one checking to see if they are helping or hurting.
Put off the flat viewing to. Would have reluctantly accepted it last week, next week but apparently October now. It's not good letting her into our home. We did what We do, hope people are distancing themselves from abuse rings even if they were cutters/blood drinkers as kids and still causing us grief in Dundee and probably later but later was Fife so fuck knows. She didn't just repeat bullshit from the neighbors though she talked about and for Royals to.
'She's not my mother.'
'How do you know?'
Another time it was Harry, not sure if she said 'Prince' but I think so. She said she had talked to him I said I was sorry for that but repeated a request she didn't give us messages from abusers. She mentioned a daughter in earshot of dissociated as fuck with live programming Junior, We just looked at her and said We didn't catch that and was there anything else she needed to see. Out and about with guns, soldiers, agents and corpses all over she was active, unable to call us 'Rosa' everything but. Got all bolshie when someone told her the old lady downstairs who gave Junior and I the heavily dosed scones that would of been lethal to anyone but us had been threatened. Bitch killed my fancy multi colour sage and boasted about to all the neighbors and the son/son in law still fucks with our front door. We were at our worst the last time. Inferior demented scumbags. They lied to our face the first time, the door sticks so it's not going to open accidently.
Been remembering that walk, arm in arm with the child abuser in chief. Talking about how pretty some areas around here are. We believe it may of been for the last fucking time. No more puking our guts up after time spent with the much loved queen. We dreamed about not going back the other night. But there was always short convos after occasions like that, sometimes with people in genuine shock sometimes faked. the best We get is continued abuse from locals and national/international efforts to maintain the staus quo stay mostly at a distance. We were even more wired and filmed than usual. She brought up the hospital marriage I think, We said Turtullio had been annihilated decades ago and was gay anyway and that I also wonder what all the signing was about. She said We would be leaving here and when We said nothing in response and she asked for a comment We said our wishes were never relevant, she agreed. There was brief talk about Biden and Trumps and I said it made no difference.
' Yes We made sure of that.'.
I've been having talks with that thing for forty years We really can't be arsed remembering all the specifics. She still talks like We believe We are some normal person with normal female with patriarchal determined wants and needs, it's ridiculous and highly counter factual. I am built for war and not from round here.
Not long after it was Charles and royal security dudes in a shinny big black royal car out the front here, making out like it's all Liz some rich dudes and everyone else loves me and are all against how me and mine are treated. The driver was one we thought We were close to for while when young, in-between breeding and training the aristocratic youth in truth and self defense. Once he signed up for Royal security it was it was utterly over but they still use him as a weapon, groomer it's maybe more about fucking with him than it is us but it's not like they can understand anything, particularly when it comes to self care, human emotions and relationships.
No doubt there would still be calls all the time from Royals, royal supporters, actors, music industry, politicians and all kinds of rich, skint and middle class tools from all over the world all being fucking horrible triggering, threatening Junior ect. We should appreciate the silence more, we have to leave the house for our regular dose of irrational or child fucker hate. It's amazing We still expect and hope better of people. We are proud of it.