Rosa Anastasia Romanov
My mum never showed us any disappointment at first when she when she asked us to choose a name and went with Romanov and not her Dad's name. Jewish as fuck. Still can't remember the name she identified with the most for most of her life or names she gave me at our Bat Mitzvah. You can hear her crying all the way through it. We said I love you Mum half way through. Love the whole Hebrew and singing thing. Love the whole no heaven or hell thing but Romanov came with the real history of Earth people's past and present including freemasonry and ancient cults that did start out as anti slavery, real resources about what the UK and US have done and were planning, the beliefs and practices of annihilated people, DID skills which are programming survival skills, maps of Earth and beyond, real science real art and so much more.
Romanov meant training and education in stuff that was otherwise completely destroyed. It was anti slavery, anti misogynies, anti genocide and anti anti Semitic while we where constantly fighting, hiding and running from Israelis and they were skilled and horrific. It was decades before we could find anyone in Israel authorities who was capable of caring about the fact that British kids utterly seeped in hate with a life time of handlers where being swapped with Jewish kids who were sold, bred, murdered. We pretty much accepted there wasn't any or enough non fubared or replaced Jews left in the 80s, not in Israel or the UK anyway and the US media ones feature regularly in our nightmares. Finding survivors would be as good as killing them ourself so We stopped looking.
Mum didn't have the Romanov history though. Judaism meant everything to her and the fact she was banned from practicing just made her hold on to it even harder there was no way I would want to take that from her. Couldn't give her the Romanov stuff though anymore than her mother could when she was held and surrounded by the deeply anti Semitic, always misogynistic, genocidal, dedicated to child and unborn baby abuse, Satanic oath swearing, generally lobotomized, AI controlled, human farming, utterly irrational, extremely rapey, life and love intolerant British monarchy.
The last decade though she got everything that me and her mother had to keep back from her. I noticed at the barracks here she was signing 'Romanov'. Can't say it doesn't really piss us off that I can't remember her first name though. It would be the one her Dad gave her, genetic match, camp tattoo, He came over to see us in Dundee we made brisket but not very well but he ate it all up while casually explaining to his partner that he knew what she was then he went home and gave himself a lethal overdoes. We could hear Mum weep for hours and hours she would beg me not to leave her every time I had to get up to pee. He was just boy when she was conceived. No consent from either parent of course.
She always said not to worry about remembering her real name. We would if We really needed to and otherwise it didn't matter because her name was 'Mummy'. Remembered her real death though, a yearish before the murder of the brainless abusive fake one. Before, holding her hand in a fucking van on street outside she asked if I really thought she would be going so quietly if she didn't know I would be going home. My mum, two dads all assisted suicides to avoid brutal murders and to help us get home. Her heart broke over Martin's death to. They are already home or most of them anyway. Our baby girl was the first ashes we left there, Star.
Sick fuck Britain, sick fuck big Britain. We swing from hour to hour, from almost feeling like we are already home to feeling like this is as good as it gets, no calls, no visits but no ID or home either. In-between We fantasize about the physical destruction of the figure heads and the institutions that are both the productions and perpetrators of so many centuries of so much horror and loss.
Lots of remembering of course to and distracting ourself with books, ghost stories and dumb yank dramas. Think there is enough of Us present and connecting to permanently avoid Grey's Anatomy. All those actor/activist/abusers. Lost fucking souls.
