August 05, 2010

Distinction

Positive validation is lovely, I'd like much more please
Saw a counsellor she is lovely and has referred me for psychotherapy
I've been referred to gyny too
It's all going to take lots of time
Found a poetry competition with a deadline and a prize I can work for
something to keep me going until OU starts again.

My dad wants his dig money, wee man needs shoes, clothes and a better male role model
I can't hand over my benefits so he can spend it in the bar every night
he might put his drinking as a top priority, above family needs, family wants
but I'm not.

Growing up in shitty clothes, no leisure, taught fuck all social skills
he'd grudge us a couple of quid for sanitary towels when he spend hundreds in the bar
I'm not comfortable with wanting to come back, just for the full fridge
but I need to even scores a little, its closure for me. No cash when angel was born
or all through the pregnancy but he handed my working nephew a couple of grand for better transport
maybe I should reconsider CSA
cant yet though, wont yet.

Hug life
xx

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