February 11, 2013


You know that scene from Tangled when she first gets out the tower and is literally swinging between proud glorious elation and weeping guiltily depression.


I'm gonna focus on the 80's.  Time, after all is the only healer and I will make more sense if I try and limit the scope of what I talk about.  Except for a couple of on going issues of course that I need to get out the way first.

My mum said today that she didn't think things would ever change with my sister and the kids will be taking away if sis turns up at school pissed and my mum isn't in.  I said she was being defeatist.  We talked about Alkysis's GP whose advice was to try and get the drinking down to a half a bottle a day and that mother thinks speed may have been recently reintroduced.  I can't see how anyone can accept a life of total misery like that without at lest pretending to be looking for ways to make things even just a little bit better.

Some stupid song on the radio was the catalyst to flashbacks about first true love best friend eternal other half lesbian teenage lover.  It's been a long time since I could remember us together in any real way.  All the abuse memories get in the way and the best I could come up with was occasions when I had lost the will to say no.  Wee man burst in thankfully after the proper cry was over.  Then the phone rang, I was glad of the distractions.  It was gran she wanted to know how to put her TV onto the kids channels for spider monkey and her cuz.  Mum had dropped them off on route to taking snot face to the doctors with a massive fever, my sister was intoxicated and not making any sense.

I hang out with wee man before phoning my mum at the hospital on her mobile, she's waiting to see a doc, Tommy has brightened up a bit I could here him chatting in the background.

My notes for tomorrow are pretty much ready.