Every pretty thing is a huge battle lost of course to. To be here buying this shit instead of weed of going places or being somewhere else where being ourself doesn't cause the issues it always has here. That's a few years now of treating winter blues with Amazon "shabby chic" "natural" "Nordic".. It's easy the appreciate without the threats or the work to avoid the threats that result from our self expression. Cradle to the grave. You will always be a slave."
We love it though. Don't we?
Will we make it through this year without some comment about not thinking we would be into it and wonder and be grateful for the splits in our soul that stop me from knowing if thats because we seem educated, cynical, or is some antis semitic shit.
When you have spent December losing battles against genocide it seem life affirming to make the absolute most out of ones spent in doors, with goreless walls, our ghost of Christmas past comes with sacks filled with chopped up remains of humans. So we have always done all we can for the present and the year we have and cash enough for treats and mood and mind enough prepare at least a little in earlier months. We've been washing windows and festoning. We have Christmas back from cleaning and wrapping presents. We think we have finally be able to make the most out of the prepayment for the benefits and a big asda delivery but we are nervous and do not want to speak to soon.. The little shop has enough to keep as going if its goes wrong. It's beautiful here.
future is out of our hands its in no ones hands the back of our brain will see us through whatever, we are not the Grincy fuckers here.
We've checked it a hundred times. The money goes in tomorrow and the big shop is delivered at night. We keep adding stuff and keeping an eye on whats available on our phone. Too excited to sleep last night. He gets most of his education from you tube so one of those really pretty dumb smart privildeged tubers has told him about Santa so we have been liberated buy that fake supremisist cunt as well. The fat man has left the building. Oh deck thee halls and make thee extra special merry. The fat bastard has left the building.
Were gonna get something in the sales after and have it sent to him from "Mrs C." We're playing carols. We put the new dark green tinsel thing up last night. It's got gold bows and boubles and its all fabulous. Don't know how many times we shifted the tumble dryier doing "it goes here" "nope.. there" thing.
Fridge freezer has been defrosted and cleaned.
We used left over sticky back plastic stuff on the minging cat bit and the bits where the vinyl is disinitgrating. Stuff we couldn't do or in some kids did do and then put back because we couldn't think like we were here now before. When shit was still so constant and ongoing. Before the final Dundee ops. Before the hospital surival plans. When all that nasty tech and faked forced on us relationshionships were still things we couldn't get out of.
Cleaned and christmasified his room to. Do like a festive house gutting. Shame it leaves us to knackered for much else though.