Hello me
Its not just that we picked up the codine today after a few days with none, we have been thinking, feeling it. More usy. But now without the achey joints. Cept for our wrist that's been a pain, seriously clicky, feeling like it needs to click but when it does it doesn't feel any better. And our knees because we have been failing at keeping up with the exercises. In the past increasing feelings of usness is usually a precursor to battling, winning then communication both internal and external. Then of course too much horror and triggers of past horror, exhaustion, injuries, damage, then just pain, all kinds of pains, all the time.
Is it going to be different this time? Dunno. Not present enough to answer that for ourself and probably wouldn't want to share it if we could. So many bullshit patterns, for survival, because we were forced or because situations required it but thinking that there is a chance that it is different now, different enough anyway isn't followed but feeling of plummeting. Our feelings about our thoughts is so often all we have to go on, constantly articulating something internally then doing our best to notice the reactions to it, more or less present, grounded or alienated, stronger or petrified.
Been watching American Horror Stories, says something if we can be entertained and distracted by such stuff. Murder house was fairly amusing, Asylum was pretty cool, Operation Paperclip and an Nazi war criminal continuing his experiments in the US for decades easily hidden by the Catholic Church and psychiatry. Mentioning the role of the Red Cross in all that. The psychiatrist serial killer.. Why not bring it alien abductions it didn't bother us. The ending, we loved the ending.
Started Coven but unimpressed to pissed of with it but maybe it will improve. Maybe we will just skip to next one. The writing of the first two managed to balance out any crappy bits with non crappy but haven't got that yet from the third serious. Actresses are doing their best but their parts are fairly atrocious, a collage of cut outs without any depth. So much misogynistic fantasies, 'sounds like a cliché but its true all clichés are..' Ug. That after the teenage boy's gory death because he had sex with a witch.. We knew it wasn't looking good. Kathy Burke though might have us going back. Its way too porny though so maybe not.. Its set in New Orleans and has slavery as a big theme, so many reasons for some sensitivity. Might just skip straight to the next one see if it brings a return to some cleverness.
Fair amount of government related BS going on, they want more money back because we had the limited capacity money which we need to pay the electric and avoid the food bank but the line is always too busy to get through, not even in a que just an engaged tone after the robo message of course. The want money back for our prescriptions because they haven't put Universal Credit on the forms yet and of course the personal independence payment form.. We have started it. Its hard going though and hurts our hand but we got to put every crappy detail in. Its the third time we have had to do this since November so we do have lots to say its just horrible having to say it all again. And then again if we have to appeal..
Is it going to be different this time? Dunno. Not present enough to answer that for ourself and probably wouldn't want to share it if we could. So many bullshit patterns, for survival, because we were forced or because situations required it but thinking that there is a chance that it is different now, different enough anyway isn't followed but feeling of plummeting. Our feelings about our thoughts is so often all we have to go on, constantly articulating something internally then doing our best to notice the reactions to it, more or less present, grounded or alienated, stronger or petrified.
Been watching American Horror Stories, says something if we can be entertained and distracted by such stuff. Murder house was fairly amusing, Asylum was pretty cool, Operation Paperclip and an Nazi war criminal continuing his experiments in the US for decades easily hidden by the Catholic Church and psychiatry. Mentioning the role of the Red Cross in all that. The psychiatrist serial killer.. Why not bring it alien abductions it didn't bother us. The ending, we loved the ending.
Started Coven but unimpressed to pissed of with it but maybe it will improve. Maybe we will just skip to next one. The writing of the first two managed to balance out any crappy bits with non crappy but haven't got that yet from the third serious. Actresses are doing their best but their parts are fairly atrocious, a collage of cut outs without any depth. So much misogynistic fantasies, 'sounds like a cliché but its true all clichés are..' Ug. That after the teenage boy's gory death because he had sex with a witch.. We knew it wasn't looking good. Kathy Burke though might have us going back. Its way too porny though so maybe not.. Its set in New Orleans and has slavery as a big theme, so many reasons for some sensitivity. Might just skip straight to the next one see if it brings a return to some cleverness.
Fair amount of government related BS going on, they want more money back because we had the limited capacity money which we need to pay the electric and avoid the food bank but the line is always too busy to get through, not even in a que just an engaged tone after the robo message of course. The want money back for our prescriptions because they haven't put Universal Credit on the forms yet and of course the personal independence payment form.. We have started it. Its hard going though and hurts our hand but we got to put every crappy detail in. Its the third time we have had to do this since November so we do have lots to say its just horrible having to say it all again. And then again if we have to appeal..
