happy something
Fell out with this particular device quite badly a few days ago, stupid thing want download stupid word games that we needed to keep ourself distracted during nasty PMS. Gave up and used phone instead with stupid itty bitty screen that causes the loss of lives because its too easy to miss press. It still works fine as a wordprocessor though.
Things are not so good. Its maybe not all cycle related have cut back on the antidepressants because our stomach couldn't handle the higher dose. Kitchen is bad, bathroom is bad did tidy and pretty up the livingroom when still high on spring and we are very glad of that. Forced ourself to put out some of the plug plants ordered when all enthusiastic and have been watering and feeding. Really been a struggle watering and feeding me though. Need healthy food like two year old Pablo said when recovering from a cold at the Links Market where like here and now there is no healthy food options. Thinking about that isn't aiding the weepiness.
Can you come home now? Would we be better trying to find ways to accept how things are? If we accepted things in the past we would not be alive or here now but there was always plans and events that would change things.
Didn't feel so rough today. Even rescued the kitchen. Not the bathroom. Did have a bath though. Best we wash daily especially since being so cist riddled. Feeling pretty good atm, pink pinot grigio, pain killers, hot water bottle, got two kinda stained and stinky duvets under us and blankets over (vintage pink duvet cover and teal once fluffy blanket that was Pabs but he swopted coz mine was softer and coz the teal works better with the pink) new songs added to spotify list (Cannonball, Kayleigh, New York Minute (I believe I believe), Dancing with Myself, Sunday Bloody Sunday, How Soon is Now) skin and muscles saying thanks for the Epsom salts, the bio oil and the codeine. It's the 17th, one of those dates we have wondered/wanted to make a birthday for us because its the date we moved into refuge for the first time. From Margo's in the middle of nowhere with a nearest small town inhabited by folks that made the fictional characters of that Burning Man film queasy to somewhere else in Fife. Just to end up back at Margo's for the scheduled pregnancy a few years, battles, corpses and scars later.
Weather looks good for the week. Think we will manage to get the frame for the climber out. Definite signs of life in the pink rose.
Head has been at that pretty old looking patch on Riverside and the bar me and Margo would sometimes visit. The memory slivers are not any clearer now than when we were with Margo, we were comfortable near here, something happened, something else happened that might of just been an attempt to block out any positive associations and feelings but that is not how brains work.
Some tears over the end of Schitts Creek and some annoyance at how easy TV people come into money, love and opportunities (see I've already waited too long).
Been using an old mantra every time something external starts bringing us down or when we start feeling the oppression, theft, hypocrisy, genocide and the violent filth that makes for Earth cultures it's meaninglessly harmful to everyone, it's self destructive, its putrid, utterly avoidable and so much better would be so easy but also 'It's not my planet'.
And with that we feel our wings again.
Things are not so good. Its maybe not all cycle related have cut back on the antidepressants because our stomach couldn't handle the higher dose. Kitchen is bad, bathroom is bad did tidy and pretty up the livingroom when still high on spring and we are very glad of that. Forced ourself to put out some of the plug plants ordered when all enthusiastic and have been watering and feeding. Really been a struggle watering and feeding me though. Need healthy food like two year old Pablo said when recovering from a cold at the Links Market where like here and now there is no healthy food options. Thinking about that isn't aiding the weepiness.
Can you come home now? Would we be better trying to find ways to accept how things are? If we accepted things in the past we would not be alive or here now but there was always plans and events that would change things.
Didn't feel so rough today. Even rescued the kitchen. Not the bathroom. Did have a bath though. Best we wash daily especially since being so cist riddled. Feeling pretty good atm, pink pinot grigio, pain killers, hot water bottle, got two kinda stained and stinky duvets under us and blankets over (vintage pink duvet cover and teal once fluffy blanket that was Pabs but he swopted coz mine was softer and coz the teal works better with the pink) new songs added to spotify list (Cannonball, Kayleigh, New York Minute (I believe I believe), Dancing with Myself, Sunday Bloody Sunday, How Soon is Now) skin and muscles saying thanks for the Epsom salts, the bio oil and the codeine. It's the 17th, one of those dates we have wondered/wanted to make a birthday for us because its the date we moved into refuge for the first time. From Margo's in the middle of nowhere with a nearest small town inhabited by folks that made the fictional characters of that Burning Man film queasy to somewhere else in Fife. Just to end up back at Margo's for the scheduled pregnancy a few years, battles, corpses and scars later.
Weather looks good for the week. Think we will manage to get the frame for the climber out. Definite signs of life in the pink rose.
Head has been at that pretty old looking patch on Riverside and the bar me and Margo would sometimes visit. The memory slivers are not any clearer now than when we were with Margo, we were comfortable near here, something happened, something else happened that might of just been an attempt to block out any positive associations and feelings but that is not how brains work.
Some tears over the end of Schitts Creek and some annoyance at how easy TV people come into money, love and opportunities (see I've already waited too long).
Been using an old mantra every time something external starts bringing us down or when we start feeling the oppression, theft, hypocrisy, genocide and the violent filth that makes for Earth cultures it's meaninglessly harmful to everyone, it's self destructive, its putrid, utterly avoidable and so much better would be so easy but also 'It's not my planet'.
And with that we feel our wings again.
