Well there it is. Beautiful isn't it?
We have really slept since it arrived. Couldn't send dude of out to school. Sick at the thought of it. Keeping thinking about how some man spat into his face when we were near the bus station in Dundee once. He was three/four and we were having an okay time out as far as he was concerned until that happened. The way he cried.
You come back fucking covered just for taking a kid to the park sometimes. Would happen to Laura with Nathan to. Fucking disgusting. You cant call them animals.
No fucking way we did even half those scars there reader. There's been loads of systems over it but one of the most persistant involves people who have access to us, like the Johnstons, Niall, any fake "social" friends there has been, drug dealers, top industry slavers, teachers and GPs I think as well.
We took out the things that gave the Satanists there power beyond basic inhumanity and brutality. "Family" were primed and sent into the flat to basicaly stop us from remembering it happened and telling anyone else. There not human. There are hard wired to hate me and everything I love because things that made them did so because they had seen that we would be the only thing ever to stop them and kept making more and more horror to stop me, to stop nature from returning, to mammals from mammaing and stop random shit from happening ever which is called not being alive.
We wanted to find somewhere they wouldn't be causing hell and destroying all signs of hope and light and water but nothing outside of quarantine was entertaining any such notions so total destruction it was going to have to be.
My God. When we could go round to Grahams and said we had with out genocide stuff and then have somewhere and someone else to fall to pieces with was so necessary. I managed to turn the anti hug machine off for a wee while! So heartbreaking watching the efforts, the rape, the murder the disgustingness involved in turning it back on. Marcon drugged up and played up by pure Brit Satanic scum. So horrific. Fuck you France we will never forgive you for still ringing loud like all the agonies and horribleness and pointless brutality. That and thank god pablo isn't here.
Think what eventually saved everyone's life was what evil that ever reigns in NASA finally realising that with the Scots in particular they really were dealing with something that really don't there to be anything left at all and that would mean nothing for NASA to fuck with, destroy, exploit, bullshit with, misunderstand, torture, ignore and misinterpret.
We had to do something with the knowing when the specific anti hug trigger had been defused because we knew that chances of anyone else being of any bloody use when we have spent decades initially frozen out of human contact and comfort quickly is nada. Everything need something. And we knew that after all the industry rings, nation states and everything horrific out there back then had had there fill we would be back where we started. With the Scots, in the UK. Business as usual except this time they wouldn't have all that backing and support. It would be me, them and whatever ancient horror they snaffled away all this time.
It wasn't even a battle. Everything they have is like literally allergenic to light, voilenty allergic to light and the brighter the light the more violently and instantaneously whatever it was was dripping down the walls and Bill and co would not be happy.
So fucking terrified. Of course we are. We are in a position to know how much danger, horror and genocide we have survived. That's fucking terrifying. We needed something that would break our fear of the Scots and that this pendant is it but no we are not intending on wearing it and are glad its winter where its gonna be covered anyway. Can't hatch the fucking spitting though. Some bloke did it up at the shops the other day. Not at me but in front of me and near the kid he had with him and we knew fine what he was fucking saying, young lads do it all the fucking time all over. Sick antisemtic man and monster made half breeds.
We hadn't even opened the amazon box at that point.
Yep. Still really need a hug. Without the extreme concerns of being attacked by mappers who make sure me and whoever it is never hug again.
Fuck it. Christmas coming. Gotta honor winterfest its the only thing I have out here and the northern lights are not as far away as they were a week ago.