give me a reason
Its pretty self destructive thinking that this could be it. That we will be left here friendless forever and will loose Pablo to all the bullshit and hate and his human need to be accepted by "people" who will never accept him. We are hurting now though. All the evidence we have gathered, all the proof all the confessions but all it achieved was the Kruger's next door put some screening up on there side where we missed a bit and don't comment and slag off every move we make. Just repeat previous shit instead. Not exactly just, insults heaped upon injuries in the hope enough will result in more injuries. Doubt the police will be turning up as quickly as they have for them in the past when they phone to complain that the neighbours they are abusing are just ignoring it because so much has been desytoyed. The way they would shout evil shit at Laura's wee ones. How the fuck can people justify, protect and defend that? There is only one answer and the science backs of up, there not really people. They are automated.
We don't many of the offers we have had in previous years were genuine they were always so torturous to hear when we knew that the tech and weaponry in place would make taking people up on these offers would of been disastrous. Different now though. That's why we don't expect any offers to come because we are in a position to say yes let's do this. We catch ourselves turning inward as we are programmed to do, maybe if we hadn't gone to Berwick last year, maybe if we had done better at not dissociating or switching maybe things would be different now.. It's crap of course. After the bairn's rape bot paternal match died with a gun that was surely meant for us and/or Pablo just outside our garden and we were still here alone with no one to call we needed a change in scenery. Its just so horrible knowing that so much of what put us here, that made the UK what it is has gone and yet we are still trapped and no meaningful changes have occurred. The Kruger's were there during the rape and have been present at many of the worst times of our life as they have said in all the recorded abuse. Yet we are still here and so are they.
We will have to try and get a move ourself I think if this just continues. We are not killing them unless they force us to and there is a pretty good chance they will be given orders to trigger exactly that, we have removed their tech and took down the mainframes. Its not like we are their only living victims. But then again...maybe we are interms of our cognitive and emotional abilities. Sure if we get another house the neighbours will not be them but they will most likely still be deeply Fascist. How do we organise it all by ourself? We exhausted to the point of tears just thinking about. There is no other part of this wee town we would want to be in maybe we can get another one in the same area or another town and hope pointlessly that the same automated hate doesnt still surround us.
Any chance of a home Isreal? Africa? Antartica? Anywhere...
The codiene is kicking in and its helping think that might of been the last of it though and we haven't ordered more. Still too headachy to order any hash and keep thinking about some of the shit the bloke we get it off has said to us over the years, he said he didn't believe our hands had been tortured when we were wearing a brace. The next week he came in and said he was sorry and now did believe us.. All the sellers are "pals" with the Krugars there isn't any real reason to think he is different he just seems to be pals with some subtler abusers to.. Will likely fold after a few more days though. Its Pablo's birthday next week (same as Harry friggin Potter) and we don't want to be too miserable for him.
Put up new little lantern string lights in our fairy garden today after watering and a sign that says "Where there is a witch there is a way". So we are not completely without smiles. Just really wish we didn't live in totally Fascist slaver state.
We don't many of the offers we have had in previous years were genuine they were always so torturous to hear when we knew that the tech and weaponry in place would make taking people up on these offers would of been disastrous. Different now though. That's why we don't expect any offers to come because we are in a position to say yes let's do this. We catch ourselves turning inward as we are programmed to do, maybe if we hadn't gone to Berwick last year, maybe if we had done better at not dissociating or switching maybe things would be different now.. It's crap of course. After the bairn's rape bot paternal match died with a gun that was surely meant for us and/or Pablo just outside our garden and we were still here alone with no one to call we needed a change in scenery. Its just so horrible knowing that so much of what put us here, that made the UK what it is has gone and yet we are still trapped and no meaningful changes have occurred. The Kruger's were there during the rape and have been present at many of the worst times of our life as they have said in all the recorded abuse. Yet we are still here and so are they.
We will have to try and get a move ourself I think if this just continues. We are not killing them unless they force us to and there is a pretty good chance they will be given orders to trigger exactly that, we have removed their tech and took down the mainframes. Its not like we are their only living victims. But then again...maybe we are interms of our cognitive and emotional abilities. Sure if we get another house the neighbours will not be them but they will most likely still be deeply Fascist. How do we organise it all by ourself? We exhausted to the point of tears just thinking about. There is no other part of this wee town we would want to be in maybe we can get another one in the same area or another town and hope pointlessly that the same automated hate doesnt still surround us.
Any chance of a home Isreal? Africa? Antartica? Anywhere...
The codiene is kicking in and its helping think that might of been the last of it though and we haven't ordered more. Still too headachy to order any hash and keep thinking about some of the shit the bloke we get it off has said to us over the years, he said he didn't believe our hands had been tortured when we were wearing a brace. The next week he came in and said he was sorry and now did believe us.. All the sellers are "pals" with the Krugars there isn't any real reason to think he is different he just seems to be pals with some subtler abusers to.. Will likely fold after a few more days though. Its Pablo's birthday next week (same as Harry friggin Potter) and we don't want to be too miserable for him.
Put up new little lantern string lights in our fairy garden today after watering and a sign that says "Where there is a witch there is a way". So we are not completely without smiles. Just really wish we didn't live in totally Fascist slaver state.
