'That's my boy. Why isnt my boy here?'

'Think its because we're all fucking idiots Sir.'

'Yeah I thought it was probably that.'

Three fucking years ago.

Quite an engagement wasn't it? Telling that there some issue up in the hills we had to go deal with when we knew those particularly issues would never be issues again. Watching your serious face, eyes scanning the road side, the fields, the forests all the way up there then waiting on you to turn your back before getting down on one knee and opening up the ring because a comrade had managed to get to us. He was just as emotional as I was about it, when had used a bit of paper I think to get your size right and slid it over the table to him. He asked if he needed to ask who it was for we said we didn't think so.

The way you turned away and cried then turned back and said 'Aye.' The air strike that interrupted our celebrations and us running and laughing in to trees for cover. And what happened next.

The way Pablo ran up the aisle when he some me coming, so cute in his little (pink?) suite and I carried him on my hip until we got to you. Daddy was there. Everyone we needed to see and talked to was there but we would have no time to talk to anyone properly partly why the sick bots had arranged it.

My general giving his little speak before we changed and headed of for the op he had arranged for us as a wedding present because like he said, we are the first to tell anyone that missions like that are what we are for.

Verbal from next door or a call from Niall or some other shit isn't going to push us back and out of remembering this time. Wish we could just stay moderately to severely sedated listen to eighties tunes and remember us as kids alone together. But we haven't got the pills, the weed, we need to stay vaguely with it for Pablo and we don't have Spotify premium at the moment. We don't even have enough bloody baky to last until we can afford to buy more. We did buy this new toy to write this on and worry we may be sending you further away with every word we write but still need to do it anyway.

We are all out of patience for people being fucking idiots. All of us.

It really hurts all the time.  

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