Beautiful morning. We haven't slept yet so are feeling good. Sometimes we have gone out for a walk on early spring mornings like this but not today we want to keep our energy for flat, garden and son. Not quite as petrified by the home schooling as we were, as well as the stuff from school we can do some stuff, yesterday it was to set up the printer, neither of us managed alone but by splitting the task it was achieved so now I can send messages from my phone to the printer next to him.. Set an everyday timer on my phone to be consistent with screens off time, difficult to remember all of his devices though. Taking them all and the wifi booster out the room would be best. He confessed to something Still can't find the kindle and can't let him talk us into letting him use the old fire 'just for reading' ..
Not that he could say thank you for it removing the temptation will be a relief for him. It's not like he hasn't got a load of books in there. Gotta do it for his pubescent brain. He's a young twelve not an old fifteen it's not to late. .. There was a confession which is always followed by him making more of an effort and offering to help out more. We did find yesterday that the tech phobia especially with his is a little better think we managed to disable some of the hundreds of stuff that immediately launch on start up, that alone would make going anywhere near the thing without an out of body experience. Like him and his handwriting practice, go slow and do tiny bits up at a time. With so many settings and so many devices taking the devices and the booster out the room is probably always the best way to do it.
We no longer have to make sure he has showered and eaten by 8:30 that gives us some defences, stamina and patience for what its going to be like when we actually attempt to enforce this night after night after night.
Knowing there is groceries coming so it won't have deal with shopping and carrying and trying to stay present and focused and being snapped or growled at and the bad trip that buying essentials always is now just an actual nightmare.
Can't not love the pictures of jelly fish in and swans on the waters in Venice. Mountain ranges being visible from cities again reminding everyone where they come from, rare furries in the streets all over, the meme about 'nature sending us all to our rooms to think about what we have done..'. The scream because we couldn't connect the lived experience in our muscles, joints, lobes and everywhere else could not be reconciled with the world everyone talked and made culture stole fought and died for not being so much of a thing any more.
The extra hunger though the extra misery, the extra homelessness, the extra poverty the extra desperateness, the nursing homes the hospital staff that can't pee can't stay hydrated, can't get breaks.
And the on a totally different level, I only thought about popping into a hair dresser before everything shut down and now its getting warmer and Pablo keeps playing with all the hair. The amount and length on his face is kinda breathtaking as he's my baby boy. He has started shaving his stomach though and the bath looks like it would if I shaved my armpits.
Place is getting pretty clean. Big jobs planned for today and its looking really good for them. Kitchen. Of course. You wouldn't like the fridge or cooker or the floor in there current state. Think you would love the flat and the town. It's where the two of us should of gone if we us but different people in a different place.
Day 1 Again. 22/3 days after the last day 1.. How's your cycles these days? Avoiding them as much as possible with wonderfulish pharmaceutical hormones. Making a mini puss? Going fucking through it?
Feels like a long while since we have thought about how it messed us up that you came along a messed up the whole thing about knowing that everyday we came into contact with often and definitely everyone who had regular contact and we could keep there number and shit was not safe for us to be around, were saying and doing things because they had be instructed and rehearsed on it or at least manipulated with some strong preconceptions that originated with slavers.
You taught me how to self care and gave us reason to while We taught you about growing weed. It worked. It was fun.
So today, very confident that the cramping and gore will remind me to take it easy in between getting shit done. Later after pizza will tidy the front garden. Need to dump some of the big bag of dirt on the crappy earth before I will be able to move it from the bottom of the stairs and there will be shopping later. With fresh fruit and veg. And booze. And lots of non fresh fruit and veg. Stupendis.
Food came. So ate and drank a little too much. Did take his tech off him though. He wasn't too bad about it.
Going back to sleep now.
Stay safe.
Not that he could say thank you for it removing the temptation will be a relief for him. It's not like he hasn't got a load of books in there. Gotta do it for his pubescent brain. He's a young twelve not an old fifteen it's not to late. .. There was a confession which is always followed by him making more of an effort and offering to help out more. We did find yesterday that the tech phobia especially with his is a little better think we managed to disable some of the hundreds of stuff that immediately launch on start up, that alone would make going anywhere near the thing without an out of body experience. Like him and his handwriting practice, go slow and do tiny bits up at a time. With so many settings and so many devices taking the devices and the booster out the room is probably always the best way to do it.
We no longer have to make sure he has showered and eaten by 8:30 that gives us some defences, stamina and patience for what its going to be like when we actually attempt to enforce this night after night after night.
Knowing there is groceries coming so it won't have deal with shopping and carrying and trying to stay present and focused and being snapped or growled at and the bad trip that buying essentials always is now just an actual nightmare.
Can't not love the pictures of jelly fish in and swans on the waters in Venice. Mountain ranges being visible from cities again reminding everyone where they come from, rare furries in the streets all over, the meme about 'nature sending us all to our rooms to think about what we have done..'. The scream because we couldn't connect the lived experience in our muscles, joints, lobes and everywhere else could not be reconciled with the world everyone talked and made culture stole fought and died for not being so much of a thing any more.
The extra hunger though the extra misery, the extra homelessness, the extra poverty the extra desperateness, the nursing homes the hospital staff that can't pee can't stay hydrated, can't get breaks.
And the on a totally different level, I only thought about popping into a hair dresser before everything shut down and now its getting warmer and Pablo keeps playing with all the hair. The amount and length on his face is kinda breathtaking as he's my baby boy. He has started shaving his stomach though and the bath looks like it would if I shaved my armpits.
Place is getting pretty clean. Big jobs planned for today and its looking really good for them. Kitchen. Of course. You wouldn't like the fridge or cooker or the floor in there current state. Think you would love the flat and the town. It's where the two of us should of gone if we us but different people in a different place.
Day 1 Again. 22/3 days after the last day 1.. How's your cycles these days? Avoiding them as much as possible with wonderfulish pharmaceutical hormones. Making a mini puss? Going fucking through it?
Feels like a long while since we have thought about how it messed us up that you came along a messed up the whole thing about knowing that everyday we came into contact with often and definitely everyone who had regular contact and we could keep there number and shit was not safe for us to be around, were saying and doing things because they had be instructed and rehearsed on it or at least manipulated with some strong preconceptions that originated with slavers.
You taught me how to self care and gave us reason to while We taught you about growing weed. It worked. It was fun.
So today, very confident that the cramping and gore will remind me to take it easy in between getting shit done. Later after pizza will tidy the front garden. Need to dump some of the big bag of dirt on the crappy earth before I will be able to move it from the bottom of the stairs and there will be shopping later. With fresh fruit and veg. And booze. And lots of non fresh fruit and veg. Stupendis.
Food came. So ate and drank a little too much. Did take his tech off him though. He wasn't too bad about it.
Going back to sleep now.
Stay safe.
