..I'm not the only one warning about this. Real people who get paid and everything do to..

We've read a book about a girl who lived in a shack in a swamp and was abandoned there where she was six, she became a successful author, artist, researcher and conservationist and was never raped but it was attempted. We read a book with short stories by Alexi Sayle it was mostly good weird but sometimes a bit grim. We have read a book we were a bit wary of only because it was called 'Little' because it was partly set in the French Revolution some of it contributed to nightmares but they have been bad any way. It's based on/inspired a real fascinating woman's life and am glad we read it. Read girl, woman, other lots to love in it but of course the people having other people can be hard for us. Liked the holy grail one by one of the very few British comedians that doesn't fill us with bitter fury.

We are of course struggling with giving Junior much in the way of structure, exercise and home schooling. He's pretty happy though, missing his friends as they all are. One of the first things we thought of with the stay at home orders is all the kids with awful horrible dangerous homes and no escape and for no idea how long for and knowing its just going get worse. The poverty must be raging. Good we are glad we are here and not there and have enough pennies.

We met some non white people in Witcher they are of course from faraway lands and remembered there has been some non straight people and male prostitutes, the women are 'strumpets' the odd male is 'prostitute'.. Not exploring any of the offers of sex from professionals or otherwise. Hated the whole powerful young female must sacrifice herself or the world will be destroyed story line but am loving the beautiful France/Italy expansion pack with a home to be repaired and amusing quests.

Cleaned up the front garden a little but haven't done a thing out the back in including putting out washing.. Haven't been going out for a walk or leg strengthening exercises everyday. Have been mostly nocturnal. Have not been keeping up with housework.

Took the prescribed antidepressants after a bacon sandwich but need to not do that again as it messed up our stomach for hours and we puked a little, retched and had to spit out loads of excess saliva loads. There's been some other unpleasant side effect/triggered/ fuck knowsness going on, its hard to explain its a bit like the feeling you get if you stand up to quickly or if you have overdone it or are withdrawing from something, a sudden kind of sinking that happens when we are almost asleep. Think the codeine might be a factor maybe with the larger dose of antidepressants. Unpleasant anyway like a taste of gabapentin withdrawal. Think we need to stick to the lower dose of the anti ds.

Smoking sooo many fags. Wish we weren't but after a phase of cutting right back then having a grim mental health phase and really enjoying almost every single lung harming life shortening draw. Not forever. Been reminding ourself we have never been able to fall apart ever, we had to control the nervous breakdown, we had to plan it for decades to survive the attempts to take us out when we are down and ensure Junior's safety.

Scared of whatever is included in the next batch of recall, seen something like a brick tunnel but wasn't sure what kind of angle it was. Think we were sliding down it. It came with a sense of heavy heavy awfulness..

Got more books to read but not many. Think we will go for extreme rambling next.

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