..dear reader..

So much better today. Not saying much about why though. So much voting with action and inaction, with your words and silence, through the values reproduced and those rejected and disrespected, my family know who they are and we will see them soon. Got more brain back, that's a very good sign.  The food supplement food aid arrived yesterday and we tried it last night a bit early considering how much we slept during the day but we got some night time sleep. Real sleep maybe even considering how we felt when we woke very early. We had breakfast, did dishes and gardening all in the a.m. Then had lunch and rested a little but that was tricky because of our extremely annoying and irritable water works, then did some more. Played with the lad for a while to. Sunshine, crisp air outside was so good and better still to be in a condition to enjoy it. Autumn wonderfulness. Tired now though. Love you. 

Gonna have another ciggie. Its only been about an hour since the last one. The one before that was about 9 am but we slept all day so that doesn't exactly involve will power. Getting over the cold, much less fever and coughing, dishes got done yesterday and this morning, decreased the infestation on the cats, other bits and bobs getting done. Crazy good dreams recently to, so vivid and lucid. Aberdeen city centre but long before we were born, standing up for our self and others, waited in a hotel that had functioning toilets for a Dad to call he did, glorious wonderful war words. We were too excited to say anything but "yes". The views from the windows changed to be high up in New York at night. Stunning, other amazing views to. Different in the couple of hours last night and today though.. Just want to cry. Tried to engage Pabs to see if that would help us he's being doing outdoor stuff at school and loves that stuff but when we tried to talk to him more he just r...

Wasn't just the time of year that put us back there last night, it was the ventolin shakes to. Between the fever and the coughing we are glad we are less dissociated from our sisters at least and our work together. We've saved lives and brains all over and its good to be more in touch with that espically as being held and trapped here where there was never any real thinking feeling people left to save. We are maybe a little more hopeful. Having our fourth roll up of the day, didn't wake up until about half two but still we gotta stop just smoking one after and another and not just until our lungs eventually clear either. Waiting a few hours means you actually get some relief and effect from the nicotine instead of a constant yucky useless crutch. We are not attempting any cold turkey that would be stupid just telling ourself a time when we can have another and then seeing if we can wait a little while longer by doing something to distract ourself. The fags don't touc...

Idina was already there. Hiding in between the bails in the field that is on your left if your driving up the hill into Kirkton of Skene, on your right if you are driving toward the village from the primary school or passing through from Westhill. She said our name and we felt a massive emotional response to hearing it even though we didn't think we knew our name. She blinked when we called her Idina and looked almost confused when we called her Idina and ran over to her to sit next to her and hold each other and shake lots. We said sorry for calling her that and said her name was Laura. She shook her head and we said we were sorry and something about her not being Laura and I was not Louise. We almost laughed. I said I thought Idina was my mother's name and both of us started to remember stuff before the screaming, the cracking the sick exaggerated fake laughter and the hooting got really loud again. We cuddled in closer to each other shaking more again and barely breathing. ...

Noah didn't survive anymore Idina's Courtney. They had them cutting us when they were still little and were still using everything we taught them and the bond made when we carried them, breastfed them and fought for them when they were tiny and we were still children ourselves, last year. They are the property of their rapists now and have shown no signs of resistance in a very long time. If that is our surface memories then everything inbetween is gonna be just as awful if not worse. They have kids doing worse and worse, worse and worse abuse and betrayal so there is no way back. Thats breeding..That's Western culture. Smosh is of course Pabs subscribed viewing, along with endless theory shows on games and Harry Potter adhering to Masonic approved pseudo science and utterly bereft of genuine history or politics. Merikkka. Your shit. Love you Pablo though and Sonny and Pierre and others we couldn't name without weeping. And the baby we have a sense that he's been...

Yesterdays horrific "oven" dream and constant running from the Gallaghers trying to put us back in one helped us remember that our first survived because like his mum he is fucking amazing. It helps knowing that I am not the only one who survived that nightmare. Love you sis. We didn't manage to stop all the prenatal torture but enough of it. He was born fighting. If he has managed to survive the USA since then we can't be certain (like everything else) from here. Hope so. Hi Noah. Love you. Mama needs weed. We also stopped blocking that our youngest is about two. They gave an egg to British drug dealers to control us, to Paul Ferris an identity that has and is very useful to them. When we refused to sort out his drug producers and distributers for him because we don't have a fucking time machine and because as we have repeatedly said the forces that forced me and others like me to pretend Earths slaver slaves have power of us are long gone he said he would hav...

Horrible breeding torture related nightmare. Horrible horrible horrible. Gonna happen though since we aren't shelving and separating ourself from knowledge and memories of all the others out there. Not just Sonny. Its not like we have never written about the breeding or the egg theft or desperately trying to do what we can for those held and sold into the worst of the rings but also trying to not let it kill us because there would be no one down here trying to help them then and of course because we just don't want to die in all this filth. The footage took from Colin Craig's in Aberdeen included breeding and the "VIPs", locals, drug dealers and authorities involved. But this is Britain so nothing would be done about it. So we had to arrange for it to be leaked before it had been removed and is now hopefully flooding intelligence markets and beyond. Hopefully, we have had no confirmation. Our stuff is real and for free unlike the usual materials that are false ...