one day we will not live constantly on the edge of tears..
Wasn't just the time of year that put us back there last night, it was the ventolin shakes to. Between the fever and the coughing we are glad we are less dissociated from our sisters at least and our work together. We've saved lives and brains all over and its good to be more in touch with that espically as being held and trapped here where there was never any real thinking feeling people left to save. We are maybe a little more hopeful.
Having our fourth roll up of the day, didn't wake up until about half two but still we gotta stop just smoking one after and another and not just until our lungs eventually clear either. Waiting a few hours means you actually get some relief and effect from the nicotine instead of a constant yucky useless crutch. We are not attempting any cold turkey that would be stupid just telling ourself a time when we can have another and then seeing if we can wait a little while longer by doing something to distract ourself. The fags don't touch the tearfulness anyway we need cannabis for that, after the relief tears of course! They are a constant fucking reminder of what we need and want and don't have but is easily available to those that could or would never attempt to save one life or mind and that is a constant reminder of the awful disgusting state of the peoples on this planet.
Done some internet shopping and we don't manage that when we are really down. Food to save money and pissed off ness caused by going to the shops here. We are bumping into it from next-door a fair bit and she's been acting all friendly and calling us "luv", seeing her is enough to make our blood boil but having to stand physically close to her in the shop que or when reaching for stuff off shelves is worse. How can a people get in a state as bad as this? I know we know but still, how?
Hope the natural sleep aide ordered give us some relief and help us heal from this shitty virus and just in general. Soft slippers coming to, its getting colder, new slippers will be nice.
Having our fourth roll up of the day, didn't wake up until about half two but still we gotta stop just smoking one after and another and not just until our lungs eventually clear either. Waiting a few hours means you actually get some relief and effect from the nicotine instead of a constant yucky useless crutch. We are not attempting any cold turkey that would be stupid just telling ourself a time when we can have another and then seeing if we can wait a little while longer by doing something to distract ourself. The fags don't touch the tearfulness anyway we need cannabis for that, after the relief tears of course! They are a constant fucking reminder of what we need and want and don't have but is easily available to those that could or would never attempt to save one life or mind and that is a constant reminder of the awful disgusting state of the peoples on this planet.
Done some internet shopping and we don't manage that when we are really down. Food to save money and pissed off ness caused by going to the shops here. We are bumping into it from next-door a fair bit and she's been acting all friendly and calling us "luv", seeing her is enough to make our blood boil but having to stand physically close to her in the shop que or when reaching for stuff off shelves is worse. How can a people get in a state as bad as this? I know we know but still, how?
Hope the natural sleep aide ordered give us some relief and help us heal from this shitty virus and just in general. Soft slippers coming to, its getting colder, new slippers will be nice.
