bleak
Gonna have another ciggie. Its only been about an hour since the last one. The one before that was about 9 am but we slept all day so that doesn't exactly involve will power. Getting over the cold, much less fever and coughing, dishes got done yesterday and this morning, decreased the infestation on the cats, other bits and bobs getting done. Crazy good dreams recently to, so vivid and lucid. Aberdeen city centre but long before we were born, standing up for our self and others, waited in a hotel that had functioning toilets for a Dad to call he did, glorious wonderful war words. We were too excited to say anything but "yes". The views from the windows changed to be high up in New York at night. Stunning, other amazing views to.
Different in the couple of hours last night and today though.. Just want to cry. Tried to engage Pabs to see if that would help us he's being doing outdoor stuff at school and loves that stuff but when we tried to talk to him more he just rolled about on the floor and that kinda made us feel worse. Not sure if we were ever rolling about on the floor little. Just all the same needs with no sense of them ever being met, solid contact, Sonny, cannabis, distance from homes and humanoids built on and with horror.
Been checking the msm a bit, wee shouldn't we know because it will annihilate any hope we scrape together. Something about British clearing space junk, probably looking for a genocide tool they always forced us to be present when they contacted. Too much debris in the way.. The debris is the.. Oh never mind.. I was there to be hurt and subjected and intimated and traumatised not listened to.
Endless states pretending they have due process, legal systems, social and personal values. Arrests over human trafficking in Dunblane, not the police though probably some pricks that didn't follow police orders fast enough. The reasons and the steps involved stuff getting into the media are always unbelievably purtid and irrational.
Wish we were living in rubble, there is hope to rebuild then but with everything appearing to be standing strong there is no hope. Anything the living build will be destroyed and/or used to support all the evil, used as a weapon against anyone who can still care.
"Just because you can't see the rubble doesn't mean it isn't there." Think thats what we have been told.
Different in the couple of hours last night and today though.. Just want to cry. Tried to engage Pabs to see if that would help us he's being doing outdoor stuff at school and loves that stuff but when we tried to talk to him more he just rolled about on the floor and that kinda made us feel worse. Not sure if we were ever rolling about on the floor little. Just all the same needs with no sense of them ever being met, solid contact, Sonny, cannabis, distance from homes and humanoids built on and with horror.
Been checking the msm a bit, wee shouldn't we know because it will annihilate any hope we scrape together. Something about British clearing space junk, probably looking for a genocide tool they always forced us to be present when they contacted. Too much debris in the way.. The debris is the.. Oh never mind.. I was there to be hurt and subjected and intimated and traumatised not listened to.
Endless states pretending they have due process, legal systems, social and personal values. Arrests over human trafficking in Dunblane, not the police though probably some pricks that didn't follow police orders fast enough. The reasons and the steps involved stuff getting into the media are always unbelievably purtid and irrational.
Wish we were living in rubble, there is hope to rebuild then but with everything appearing to be standing strong there is no hope. Anything the living build will be destroyed and/or used to support all the evil, used as a weapon against anyone who can still care.
"Just because you can't see the rubble doesn't mean it isn't there." Think thats what we have been told.
