Sunday
We are pretty much out of the good stuff and not much okay stuff left either. Hopefully it might lead to angry walking rather than total emotional drowning. Struggling for breath as it is. PMS proper. We have a sense of putting something together that gave the gist of all of it, adding to it over the years then arranging to have it sent out as many people and places as possible at the same time and leaving out those that can't talk to us without being totally fucking horrific. Not sure if some forced their way onto lists anyway. We are just so exhausted. How are we gonna feel when May turns to June. With even a glimpse of a neighbor any neighbor has us anxious, scared, sickened, confused, murderous, frozen and we don't have it in us to hide it, transform it or celebrate it anymore. And it's the same with the school, the NHS, the landlords.. Have to focus on the better stuff while not stopping myself from feeling what We actually feel.
Bought a flower yesterday when went out for wine. Not digging today but its going by the big yellow pansy and will we super awesome. Still have sorted the bit next to the steps but we are keeping stuff watered. Don't have a problem with the clouds and the coolness today.
Today I would like it if We could be spoonfed soup and diazepam while watching Junior learn to swim.
Working on a tesco order and have pants and jammie bottoms in the wash. Well done Us. It's gonna be tricky again though because of the garden spending and because We still haven't managed to write the begging essays to the DWP to get money for Junior. We get queasy when attempting to plan what to write. We really feel like We are walking around on tiny child feat.
