It's back, pre premenstrual ouchies. Like my womb is trying to get rid of it's self.
A burning tightness, that spreads to my thighs, heart and boobs making me slow, tearful and irritable. Bless you pinksofa though, it's brought heaps of smiles recently. Still feel a bit of a fraud though, cause I looked up a bloke on bebo yesterday, first glance and I was all chuffed, not interested. But now I keep seeing his face, and remembering that electric touch. I am a confirmed fag hag. I always need to have someone I'm thinking about all the time, it's a survival thing. I might never get over it but that's okay there are worse things and people to obsess over.

I wonder it's connected to the pain, H would of thought so. He also believed me and psychosomatic pain were a little too intimate and I couldn't disagree. Might get some help from dreams if I could be arsed remembering them. There was something about someone looking for the corkscrew, 'magic willie man' as he's called. A miniature of the statue of the boy peeing, it used to scare me as a kid for obvious reasons. No wonder I'm terrified of sex.. thinking little boys had pointy, twisted penises that could take a cork out a bottle.

The advice was generally to rest, if that's what I want to do. Which might piss mum and dad as there have to care for River, feed him, dress him, talk to him, hug him I can manage that. The park might have to wait for another day...

Struggling with his grandad a bit recently and his gran. The usual gap between making a decision and making it real I have no bloody patience. I keep thinking about switching on and off my own light switches, having a kitchen thats mine all mine, and a bathroom. It will take a while for the novelty to wear off.

I'm certain again, but don't need to tell anyone and everyone face to face.

They bloody did.

Popular posts from this blog

Watered and fed the Roses

How do you know Savile to?