I wish I had more faith, the sort of belief in myself in others and justice I used to have. It makes for much better dignity, instead constantly of pacing around, needy, listless and unmotivated. Two years ago last new year was the last time we talked, I think he said he wanted to finish something, make it for me. Which sounds a bit like a goodbye but he wouldn't admit it, committing isn't the problem. It's uncommitting, I know it's not right to put all your faith into one person but its not easy to undo once done. I will have other relationships, with strong beautiful women he will not haunt every time I kiss someone or wake up in a bed with someone else in it. She will not have to walk away because I'm too involved with someone from the past.. Maybe we can just be friends.
There is art without, there is voice and song, it will be different and not as lucrative or so widely received but it will be enough.