January 23, 2015


Sorry we haven't written for a while. We are never very sure how to articulate when we are changing like we feel we are  at the moment. Not externally, we are releasing lots of pain and are exhausted with all the trauma recall that is popping up constantly but we can see ourselves without blinding negativity. We are not running from whatever pops up or holding on it either. We hold on to the part that lived it and watch the trauma file itself in a system that I am increasingly able to make sense of.  So much less DID shame. 

Cats are bloody brilliant. We love them. They seem like good non psychopathic pusses thankfully to. We are spending lots of time on the sofa cuddled up with them. The little one is so funny with all the typical young cat stuff it's a relief to have more life about the place. An even bigger relief that we are in a place where it is a relief to have all the life pitter pattering about if you know what I mean. 

Have invested lots of time and some actual real money on building a small castle town. We are proud of it! It's like the colouring, you can actually see the progress being made. Something pretty to show for our efforts that is still here I guess. It helps. We like it.  

Getting frustrated at times to but that is impossible to avoid and we remind our selves of that.  We can remembering being in a place where we couldn't think about DID without heartbreak and anxiety. We remember being a place where we felt constantly alienated from our own flesh and did our best to ignore every message it sent us. We are not in that place anymore and it's nice!

Got no idea in what sort of place you are all in at the moment but that's ok.