Saturday 12th November

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Alienated and isolated triggers scripts so of course all the stuff about buying a third xmas T brings up the 80s. The first clear association is on the lawn in front of Balnaboth, summer time, some nasty zombie male threatening the life of the third intended recipient. Me feeling that this is all ridiculous. Other voices at other times also long ago saying good things are dependent on the buying of the T. Me just hating all this crap. All this forced to not feel, think or remember myself crap.

There was some jealousy but mostly it was overwhelming relief to know Pete was home. Not in the house don't think any one can get in there without me. But in one of the flats. Couldn't say much over the phone of course. Don't know how many people are there now. All we care about is when the +2 of myself and junior is added and the shutters can stay up for a while. 

Ran out of plant rations for the day how annoying for us but good for the plant. Grilled some lamb and stuck it in a pitta with lettuce and he didn't leave a scrap. The kitchen at home is pretty good for grills think we've been quite into it meat and veg. We got one of the bulldozer operators to help us move snow around for sledging. Turned on the big spot lights when it got dark. Small sprained wrist had us very freaked out. What if it had been worse? You got it wrapped up and we couldn't handle seeing you in pain so we gave you pain killers. Stuck inside we gave you a tour and talked about some of the pieces, archeology, history of the war and stuff. You were so thrilled and it was a wake up moment for us we couldn't see it all from someone else's eyes before. Awesome.

Got a lump that is probably a cist under an eyelid at the moment. Ew. Hope it sorts itself out. 

Might get into growing a little fruit in veg indoors after awhile. Cat trees is probably what we will want first though. We've dreamed about that many times over many years. Sorting out education for the lad of course think about that a lot. We can almost remember what it feels like to be us but it's extremely slippery and impossible to grab. 

Home by the solstice. What if we are not though? Then we will be sad but it won't kill us. They haven't forgotten about us. We haven't forgotten about Us. And it's a week before there is money to be buying any stupid Ts that we probably won't be ordering any of because it's too loaded and We fucking hate scripts.

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