Early Winter Cleaning
Got into genuinely enjoying the afternoons in the Winter before when everything is quiet and there is no sounds from passers by or neighbors for a while. Watching the clock face appear more and more as the leaves fall. Soaking up the changes in colour and light around the steeple and above the town. Feeling glad just to be Us sometimes. Can't listen to the lovely chilled classical playlists that we got a lot of use out of during the summer and early autumn. Makes us think of Mum alone, dieing alone in her bed and me forced to keep reality at arms length here. Knowing we didn't know what was going on and being so utterly powerless. Without even the strength to admit to ourself what we knew. Cowering in Satanic fucking fiction even though it doesn't scan. It was a not a nice summer.
Cleared a shelf out today for xmas stuff and am cautiously confident that we can move on to the boxes under the bed next. It is such a relief when we can just through stuff that bothers us out. Knowing the literal and figurative are heavily linked. Maybe some local shopping tomorrow. Booze doesn't arrive until Friday and we needs clothes and dusters. Does depend on much tolerance for eye contact with whatever is out there is available. We can have our mocha at home after.
