July 28, 2014

Rotten, rotten through..

So the behind the scenes, controller, knows everything parts.. You gave us a break yesterday didn't you? Thank you.  

You know the script, Ukraine, Gaza, organised abuse inquiry led by ppl who have raped us. 3 of them, so far & 1 of them did some programming our DID against us. That would Mark Conrad. Who we have been emailing but won't be meeting up as has been suggested for obvious reasons, 2001, Glasgow & up at my Dads, after I had cleaned up and started sleeping in the room next door to wee mans, not sure exactly 2008/9.  Would of been worse but some blokes turned up and told him to leave.  Think it may of been him that we seen in town last year.. Dunno and no doubt we have more recall coming. Certain about the exploitation and the rape tho, sometimes with Moyles he wasn't into the really sick stuff, liked the vulnerable parts that thought if someone wasn't intentionally trying to cause as much pain and humilation when they raped me that it must be love.. The others Mark Watts (2001, Glasgow) and Ian McFayden (? was interviewed on telly recently.) who tweeted 'if anyone believes the McCanns hurt their child please unfollow me.' Subtle. Not.

We know people are going to say we are trying to derail the establishments inquiry into its self and maybe these memories are 'just' programmes but it's unlikely. Braveheart says otherwise and we know ourselves well enough by now.  There are likely to be witnesses for Glasgow as for my Dads.. Unlikely but you never know.

See lots of support for Michael Mansfield, an established well know legal type who is identified as socialist. It was the pictures of him that made us start blocking inquiry supporters before we  intigrated the stuff about the others. No pictures, no words. Just want to scream, sense extreme pain when we see his pics and have a sense of the 90s and early 00s when all this ongoing stuff was being arranged. Mind controled rapists carving everything up between them all very colonial really.

When the bloke took Conrad away, we had to say something. We were so relieved he was going and the bloke had also bought wee man to me, he was safe in our arms, the littles, the frozen parts were forced forward after the rape on the stairs and whatever he had said to us after which we knew we needed not to hear, as he left we could be more ourselves again and said 'see you in court'. Just to show the littles we were back. The bloke agreed.

When it's was all triggered on Paedobritain Day we heard the usual excuses internally, they have DID too, they were ritually abused and programmed to (poor things it's not their fault) which is probably true but these people are calling for an over arching inquirie they are saying they are all for truth & justice for abused children, except me and mine and who knows how many else ..

We are not saying we never hurt anyone it's the need to do the best by those we did hurt, to admit it and understand for ourselves what we have done and how it came about that is a big motivation behind this blog and every stupid self destructive contact with police. 

We do want truth for everyone, all victims and all the networks that brought about, used and maintained our and others' vulnerable dissociated states, regardless of what the abuse turned people into but we are not going to sacrife ourselves because other people think our abusers are proper people and me and mine are not.

Well hasn't brought us any baccy, food, weed or friends but parts are feeling more loved and accepted after that discloser..