May 21, 2017

Speaking sweetly to a victim is not resisting slavery

Well half q is not going to last long and as the weather has been crappy and all we can expose ourself to is twitter and CNN telling us we don't and never have existed our mood is predictable low. It's lovely yesterday being a bit intoxicated which loosens some of the brain shackles, no nothing left today though already been through bin bag and ash trays for roaches.. As everyday means more issues pass from "It will be very bad if this happens partly because it will be easily avoidable" into something that has happened and can't be avoided any more and still having to being present in form for the ALF (adorable little fucker) without some chemical back up is fucking horrible.

The grooming and fake intel ops had the majority convinced that when we said "very bad" we were only ever talking about ourself and the kids trying to get through those levels of unchallenged entitlement and exceptionalism was impossible. Those who were working for the Russian Fascists and the worst of RA told them it was us and not them so the people we went to for help and spread awareness of with Russian democratic meddling and worst of the international RA started treating us in ways and using triggers as they were advised to by their rapist, child trafficking, treasonous colleges. They were not even interested and looking at anything we had to offer on anything and left us all to the rings.

Every now again something would come up and we would get a call or a visit like we were some respected and paid member of the IC but usually there was just abuse, it never ends. But all they have now is me and Pabs, the scariest off their tech, my twenty something sisters and our legions of spawn, our mum and our dad are out of their reach. Sky is out of there reach, to some of us he became our only priority and it was the thought of him losing us that kept us alive. Knowing abusers can't trigger or threaten us over him is really something. So many just couldn't understand why he was so important to us "just a bairn quine you will have plenty more" while American's were sure there must of been some strategic reason like he was seed or a weapon we wanted secured.

We told a couple of them last summer, "He's not a fucking seed. His DNA is reason you keep trying to kill him not the reason we want him safe." Think they asked why and we were not up for trying to explain the bond that happens between a amnesiac locked up very violently abused child and the child she was forced to conceive and carry and who is being abused by the same people so we just said that he's our son and we love him and he loves us. They looked confused. She said she wasn't interested in his DNA but that he's her son and she loves him??

Reality always confuses them because they were convinced they would never see or have to deal with any of it. Reality is supposed be long gone from the scene by the time they show up. Like we said to them, "What does it matter you what's going on here, you were given a script about what to say about all this before you even got here anyway?"

The long established protocal with U.S intel and myself if that they ignore everything I say and everything they see and just repeat whatever the Fascist Brits or other Fascist yanks tell them.

There is a feeling of safety in the state of play. We are not worried about agents, traffickers and their associate triggering us and grooming us into believe they can or would help us. There was no other relevant or interested parties that we could given more information or more possible avenues of action. There is no immediate danger in some contacting us and there hasn't been for months but everyone pretends their life is on rails when every second of everyday is a crossroads.

Our life of course is chained to some very serious rails and it looks like it will continue to be until we have lost enough amnesia so we can access whatever we need to access to get me ALF out of here permanently and you can all get on with pretending you didn't have a choice.