March 09, 2011

The Du Maurier/Ginsberg popular culture essay stops and starts. Must end up above the grades I've getting so far. Not getting involved with the theory enough because its too theoritical. As for the John Stuart Milne essay I haven't even read the texts yet but 2nd year philosophy is a different kettle of fish to 3rd year lit. More work on war poem, which is now 'psalm for the deer' getting proud of it again. Keep not buying printer ink, which is stupid because I need it but it isnt edible.

Plans for the evening, to kill time untill its time for Trevor Nelson's bath time soul show, why is it only on for an hour, cruel, cruel.

I wonder if its natural to expect more for me at a time like now. So many tightropes and eggshells for so long its impossible to just burst into the truth. Wish the Gaddafis were out, properly out, as hard as that is to imagine. Seeing them on trial as felt as realistic as making it through winter without comfort eating or monarchies abdicating but nothing is as impossible as it used to be sonshine.

I heard these tracks in labour and after he was born in the maternity unit. I been wanting to write about how tunes frame my life, tried to write about 'Karma Police' in Palermo but I'm no where that yet. Everything I write reads like something written by a little girl, thats not how I felt at the time.

Hope the dude is ok with the lack of socialising he's getting at the moment, part of the reason for dumping him at day care when he wsa younger was to try and make up for all the time the writing, thinking, healing takes. There is a big world beyond your mommy which is just as well because she's a bit quiet sometimes. When the autocracy states crumbling words like 'home' start becoming meaningful, more than meaningful.