March 18, 2011

GP

Seems to be a correlation, its an obvious one would be matter of fact in my teens but in my socialy desperate thirties is trickier. Health care professionals, support workers make me feel degraded. I hate that, your supposed to me supporting me I get fuck all done afterwards. I just want, to drink, cry I'm not saying it's all their fault, but blaming me for it 100% doesn't work either.

No fly zone, I am going to regret even mentioning it here. I did soon after, western intervention and all that. New world, the whole East/West thing doesn't cut it like it used to. It's nice to to hate everything thats being said my an American though, even if it is only for a while.

Good paid for my me shrink, you piss me off you make me want to get pissed, fuck, hand my body to the night in the hope that next time I won't wake up again.. I find someone else. It's not an easy way out or denial its realism. Life's to short to want to waste it, If I feel like that then there is obviously something wrong and the first thing to do (being so bastard sensitive and all) is to limit as much as possible the situations that make me wish I stank of cheap perfume and shaved more often. At least I'd have human contact....

Its all bullshit though isn't it. You give us oil we give you guns to keep down your people. You pretend we know better and we give you the drugs to take you beyond survial.

I really hope I manage to make a good job of this Piercy essay.

For god sake girl, so your room needs tidyin and you had a difficult past.. big deal. I love my flat..

'Have you thought about what your going to do if your not successful?'

Well, I though I might curl up and die because we can't go to Disneyland Paris. Jumping of the veranda cause I will have to make arrangment with my debtors. Split my wrists rather than get a job.

I just want to look smart and talk about this shit again, it doesn't work when your a bit scruffy and in need of a hair cut. Wander back to Izzy's promise I guess. Just keep tappin away..

Damn it crisps are all done.. send reinforcements now

They wont even let me dream.

I have no Simon and Garfunkle on my puter.. send reinforcements.

'Homeward bound, I wish I was'



love you Justine
(today...)

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