Skipped the lesbian night out to go to the beach. It meant listening to my sister bitch as usual. She started talking about going into child protection. I had to get up at this point and roll a spliff. Thankfully when i inevitably put my point of view across it all went quiet and she went to bed.
I have been thinking about making a more serious go of the studying. Only thinking though. I've stopped reading fiction at bed time again. I shouldn't beat myself up about that, it very easily leads to not being able to sleep well. No anti-psyco meds, so great to free of constant hunger or tiredness. Will probably be offered another. I think thier maybe was benefits, in terms of distancing myself from constant reminders. I was pretty much indifferent to most of the wedding crap but now the pictures are making me feel quite sick. I imagine you don't need complex PTSD or a delusional disorder to feel like that though. Fucking aristocracy. Grow a pair and sort it.
A phonecall from male again this evening. Bit of a language barrier but I like it. He does seem quite keen, but hes over there with his child free life its difficult to see how it would work. Bollox to that sort of talk though. I just hope he's a good kisser.