October 23, 2017

October

So is this the fourth year we have been alone with no word from no anyone facing the week of the local school Halloween disco with the lad becoming more and more blind and deaf to me with every hour he spends in that school and another layer of bullshit added to his brain every time sleeps and every topic he wants to talk at me about are more and more overtly triggering. JK Rowling and "the chosen one" sharing a birthday, we can talk a tiny bit about it being racist and male supremacist and stupid but still can't talk about what is so deeply disgusting about the hook nose bankers or the house elves.. Pablo the writer of that book has literally told me she would kill you. Could you please stop saying we are wrong to call out sexism in Harry Potter. The other topic when he came in? Secret trials for his secret ninja club that were very close to the ideas behind satanic trials. We know he's got a him underneath it all, that our son is still in there but he isn't suicidal he isn't going to come out when we are alone in a place that is murderous to us and makes damn sure he knows.

At least we are not facing it alone and on anti psychotics like we were last year. That would of meant for a very weak, very sanitized us that wouldn't be able to think or act out of line. Fuck you all for that, seriously.

I'm not sure if there is anything set up, other than essential security for this all being allowed to continue. We would be finding it quite easy to make the big decisions if we had access to the big machinary so tonnes of Satanic various have and are working hard to keep 2017 as a total win. Particularly October and we don't really feel like being able to think consciously about our Jewish mother and family in Israel on the prepared predetermined date counts as a win for our side. This is their time table. You can tell it's their timetable because I'm in a place telling me for thirty years it's going to kill me and all my kind and "my kind" elsewhere don't seem to be to bothered about it which us always made it quite apparent that they are not my kind at all.

If we could write in Hebrew now we would but we can't because the often really small differences we asked of people to help us out here were often just used as instructions on what to do more of. Hollywood and Japan. We could use the masons own networks to quieten them down for a while to give us space to think but the factories in those places we couldn't get near, almost killed us if we did and anything we took out just replaced and upgraded.

With no contact we don't know if there has been changes made. We do think that the surviving Chinese team might be able to start work soon so that we can do what we do, and be what we be without loosing the pretty planet. We need our brothers. There isn't anymore time.